Six excruciating months since 10/7, and 133 hostages still in Gaza.

Six excruciating months since 10/7, and 133 hostages still in Gaza.

Many others been killed in the most awful ways. its painful to even imagine we can do this to each other. Yet l witnessed again in `local coastal town on east riding of Yorkshire`. The Ignorant marched chanting racist and vile wicked messages, protected by Police support unit from @humberbeat.

Left concerned that the discussion the Ignorant fear is not being allowed. So l ask why?

Why are the ignorant not willing to know about the 13th tribe, What are they fearful of?. I mean wont goggle supply all the answers to any questions raised.?

How is it that honesty is shouted down? How long to sing this song. How long ...How long..?

Only monsters would plan then execute take babies and elderly hostage! Do these people recognise that's what happened.

If they were your children, Own family friends, wouldn’t you do everything to rescue them? I know I would.

let us pray...

Lord, we know that

to live right, try as we might
it’s never long before it's goes wrong.
We turn in on ourselves. Moving away from others
sometimes forgetting you,
forgetfulness is strong;
we are weak, makes us stronger, resilient, disciplined
Move in us Holy spirit,
By your grace in our lives,
forgive and strengthen us. Equip us and guide us.
Amen.

Me been doing some soul searching, Some Harbour walking. Bit of praying.Watchng fishing boats come home. Wondering about stuff.

Still very ill.

My first drink of day gone ice cold....

Took me time to recognize my first drink of day was Ice Cold.

Took me bit more time even think it was worth making another.

Instead writing stuff down, stumbled along doodling on the pad.

Didn't feel like cooking, because didn't feel like eating. But eventually day began although was awake, struggled to greet the day.

Song came into my head and sang along. Then dug the track out listened three times. Went for a walk going wrong way, cash machine was broke. 

Would loved coffee and time to sit smoke a cigar.

Talked about death, grief, loss and meaningless of LIFE. 

But now got to get serious. …Before the day gets wasted....back in my mind …drove to a country road, Car pulls up ,get in to take over the driving, there is laughter. Makes a comment to drive slowly, carefully. Sun goes down and music plays.

LIFE.

LIFE goes on...you know it has too.

Uncle Kevin..' how do you spell sable...how do you spell Label...Tonic .Ton...'

Day of Museum visits, comic books, pocket money, Pizza, Tango and cake …While desperate for cup of tea ..we sit aware someone's missing. But we have to Live. While all my `WOW Word point's`, get spent as LAW plays spelling game on my IPAD …LIFE ..

Still goes on.

The troublesome news Carry's on.

LIFE.

Protestor ignorant and foolish march with no understanding of LIFE bigger issues.

As l sit waiting for the kettle to boil, later back at home. Memories goes to this day and a country road. She waiting and l get in...moving over to take over the driving, there is laughter. Comment to drive slowly carefully. Sun goes down and music plays.

Then l am back here in windswept day, with slight Chill and silence. You see Memories don't leave like people do. It nearly always people you recall. Not money spent, not really news, not subjects. But relationships...….country road. She waiting and l get in...moving over to take over the driving, there is laughter. Comment to drive slowly carefully. Sun goes down and music plays.

what does this even mean?

 Luke 12:48: “From everyone to whom much has been given, much will be required; and from one to whom much has been entrusted, even more will be demanded.”

Hell what does that even mean , confident its not about just economy we hold, is it also or mostly about our understanding, so again we get messed up for holding a wee bit of knowledge more than ,`the ignorant around` us.
Even knowledge of scripture got this measurement of success and punishment.

Ignorance is given a value it should never hold.

The `attic of society`, allows us to deposit `stuff,` choices, teachings, Those items we feel, no longer value.

They get put there. Undesired like Ex-girl friend.

Notice they are not thrown completely away.

Perhaps society feels rejection may not be in its own best interest.

Its gets put in the attic. Forgotten, shelved, placed at least out of sight.

Articles of faith.

Books.

Vinyl.

Relationships, discussions,

Now we are busy, watching box sets.  (They wont ever be placed in the Attic).

Faith.

Construction

economic well being of others

service to others

compassion for others

grace allow to others.

What have you placed there, just in case it gets needed in the future?

Ignorance is given a value it should never hold.

As an example, when people are ignorant about value, scripture, article of faith ,or forming relationships.

l believe they say 2 things happen, they get `researched by some and revalued`.

or. They get `confirmed to be ..`no use`..`

Kevin Waller ..`spiritofthestreets`.. suggest a third option occurs..

"They live on, a few keep to that stuff and it stays present with new owners, who value this `Attic stuff` always ready to explain why"!

Why and how

Why and how they still value Faith, Relationship and values  Like to serve others.

What you preventing from entering the Attic of undervalued stuff?

Is Social justice natural.

KUDOS....honoring them for what they've achieved, the effort they've put in, or for the character that they've shown.

Winter storms chilly wet and cold.

Wettest period since records began last 18 months. Fields still flooded. Wildlife less evident people struggling life appears harder. Money certainly not stretching like it should.

General people showing their faces how hard life is presently. Shops not full.

Social Justice kind of comes naturally if your LIFE journeys been among community of like minded persons.

More connected with others in same mind ,we then appear to serve others as part of who we have become.

But political forces are not concerned. Actions are troublesome lacking compassion. Not sure where this is coming from. Perhaps it's the same act but belief system not about doing it for them. But doing it for only our political beliefs. There Will be losers in the game.

There will be rungs named success only if climb the political ladder.

Failure is your fault, not economics locally, not lack of advantage.

LIFE  is just too tough. For far too many! 

Then and now 1988....from a book about Hull boxers...Some of same group 36 years later

 

Then and now 1988....from a book about Hull boxers...Some of same group 36 years later.

How fortune have l been to be growing with such Community, issues ,problems, geographical Poverty. Blighted education. Yet belonging to Boxing gym...Church...Work environment. ...Family...Role models.. FAITH and Discipline My LIFE....Small part l share here these memories make me the Man still growing up to become.

Matty well guess you know, ferried brow, binoculars scanning and flask of coffee within reach.

WITH COLDS loss of Matthew Spring felt like a long time coming, but with new Equinox passing earlier this week. Actually officially entered a new season. But has so often the weather is not catching up, remains bitter. Also this illness is staying alongside myself.

First season when missing, past was grateful to listen, too all the wisdom, knowledge and expertise of my son. One Swallow might not make a summer, but a first sighting of one is a sure sign that warmer weather is on its way. We always went to a `not so secret place, at `Kilnsea wet sands`.

They would be in nesting mode early flitting around our heads. Matty well guess you know, ferried brow, binoculars scanning and flask of coffee within reach. Scanning the river banks, hills and hedgerows for flitting movement.

Now my weekends are silent, hedge rows not so busy, no flask is made up for the day.

Presently feeling like best way, don't know what would have done, so ill, retching, coughing, not sleeping, echo cardio meetings, chest X-Rays, doctors X 3, hospital visits. Silence. Long Silence, empty Long silence.

Reluctant to address'others' challenges with LIFE at present. My memories brought back another alone time, handing over the keys to group who hired out our coastal retreat. Its late, my connection later then expected so during a storm, sat in a wild wind swept coastal Public house waiting for some one. A song comes on the jukebox...its silent and l listen, emotions catch me up, in these lyrics.

So many words we didn't say
Two people lost in a storm
Where did we go?
Where'd we go?

We lost what we both had found
You know we let each other down
But then most of all
I do love you
Still

We played the games that people play
We made our mistakes along the way
Somehow I know deep in my heart
You needed me
'Cause I needed you so desperately

We were too blind to see
But then most of all
I do love you. . .

LIFE is for Living.

Still, Easter can be a reason for us to take time out, and allow some reflections to fill our mind.

LIFE, my illness, along with departure of MATTHEW my son. Caused me to perhaps take account of LIFEs direction. But in practice always been "reflective practioner". There this victory in death being defeated. Think lot of people who just sleep walking thru this LIFE not engaging with moments or issues! 

Partly can understand that process, keeps you safe, comfortable and innocent.

LIFE is tough, perhaps if you heard this before, LIFE `not like film in the cinema`. So why hurt your self by engaging further.

That works but not best way to Live.

All Losers in the rungs of failing ladder of NHS.

Been ill for best part of two weeks.

Two loads of anti biotics ..several hospital visits 2 Doctors surgery. No real answers.

The issue came to prominent 13 days ago. But mixed up wrong advice not been helpful.

Wondering from also discussion 'How many others experiencing the same worries.

Economic poverty and 'Poverty by location', played big part in illness plus recovery or further relapse.

Discussion recently identified with family and friends, agree those working in health care, are fed up with NHS. Its treatment of them as service providers. They feel undervalued, attacked, and frustrated.

Service users not been good or positive experience. All Losers in the rungs of failing  ladder of NHS.

No rungs,` marked Success` on failure ladder of NHS. Admin workers way is not presenting any way to uplift. 

Investing time with others .

 It will be spring soon—

And I, whose childhood

Is a forgotten boredom,

Feel like a child

Who comes on a scene

Of adult reconciling,

And can understand nothing

But the unusual laughter,

And starts to be happy.

Philip Larkin

Just had really rewarding day with some of old boxing Chum's from Albemarle Park ABC in Hull.
Drink, fellowship and friendship.
Danny, Johnny H, Dave coach, Terry, Melvin W, Mark P, Ali, Andy H, others.
Worth such investment of time. Yeah it was bit good old days. But not seen some for 25 years plus. Maybe 30.
That's happiness.
Still feeling very ill. Hospital yesterday brought back trauma of MDW last days, way, NHS neglected my son.

Who now has the Authority, a crucified Criminal proclaiming 'Love Wins'

        Time just sit ponder and reflect upon the Cross. The Good Friday event, that turns upside down how World turns. 

Turned upside down .Who now has the Authority, a crucified Criminal proclaiming 'Love Wins'.

Encourage all ,if you are able to understand the message of Easter events. How we live LIFE today.

While not limiting God to our selective image further limited wonder. It's all within our grasp and understanding.

But also large ,Cosmic,huge and presently beyond what we can comprehend.

Love Wins ...blood bleeds,Life passes, Love Wins.

Prince of peace and Easter egg with hot cross bun, after little reflection! Anyone joining me.?

The prime minister said it was “beyond alarming” voters had backed a candidate who “dismisses the horror of what happened on October 7”, when Hamas murdered 1,200 people in Israel.

In the UK we well that's not we, Rochdale.That a place where `grooming gangs sexually` exploited girls (mostly aged 12 -15 from Social services homes). When exposed mainly arriving at court,it was confirmed they came from, `Muslim community original from an certain area in Pakistan`.

Rochdale elected a loud mouth coward whose reputation for deceit and shameful dialogue, been exposed several times over many years including very recently.

PUTIN. Wasn't there a time when we had this lot locked up and resigned to the dustbin of history, special department where mistakes we dare not repeat are featured.

Vladimir Putin has once again threatened to nuke the West if NATO military airfields are used by Ukraine to store warplanes.

Its an Easter tradition but l do not understand why, but happens in my Local City.Which really has little culture to interest many but here goes with Hull V  Hull K R Rugby.

A pundit Wilkin ? sorry cant help anyone here. has taken aim at Hull FC’s ‘painful’ demise over the last few years, but he still hasn't written them off for an unlikely derby win this Easter,  joined by Sam Tomkins to preview the Good Friday clash, with Hull KR starting as overwhelming favourites.

Got family, neighbours, and friends, to wind up next few days about this sporting event which will divide.

NEWS ITS ALL PRETTY macho MUSCLE DIVIDING AND UNPEACEFUL STUFF TO EXPLORE. NOT REALLY ANYTHING THAT WRESTLE WITH DAILY.

Prince of peace and Easter egg with hot cross bun, after little reflection ...anyone joining me.? 

Tend the sick, Lord Christ; give rest to the weary,

 

“Keep watch, dear Lord, with those who work, or watch, or weep this night, and give your angels charge over those who sleep. Tend the sick, Lord Christ; give rest to the weary, bless the dying, soothe the suffering, pity the afflicted, shield the joyous; and all for your love’s sake. Amen.”

― Phyllis A. Tickle.

From the heart of Kevin presently feeling very poorly.

You see others been were l am now so sharing this with you, course welcome blessings. but when this has past.

Please Lord quickly. serve to remind where l am at this moment.

Fabricating outrage out of next-to-nothing is a very 21st century method. Like Hot cross buns, What we call Easter eggs. It more of Fake news promote arguments. Also can be used embarrass the Faith community of followers of Jesus.
So being Christians, let's not end up looking bit stupid and silly, enabling others in our community to confirm their worst stereotypes. 
That's us plum speaking, bearded, middle class while moral gatekeepers. Felling Angry.

You...How's it going with You. How is it happening at present?

You...How's it going with You.

How is it happening at present?

Shall l start. Well very poorly all sorts happening with my health. That's been coming since.... Saddest day.....14th February. But this resulted in lot of discomfort no sleep for 10 days massive medical but nothing helping.

Sad ...perhaps reality hards to accept.

That's about enough from me, torn at present. Torn, drained and poorly.

You..... gotta ask, You...How's it going with You?

How is it happening at present?

Take some time....

I thrive on conversations, communication and community.

Where we talk, discover about different views we hold. Way in which get accepted because others understand me.

Fact. This will take time, all should make effort,then we develop, further  all grow not least because simply accept any difference. But equality takes place as learn about others plus lived experiences. Nothing based on gender, religion, or couler.

We not been able to construct, social mobility. Also keep people imprisoned. A new style of Ghettos where lack of engagement.

Lack of all the above.Break out The Ghetto.Be Radical. Keep listening to each other.

Trapped in Sunday that's so mondaine.

Unable to connect with family member whose being bit silly ,rundown worn out tired from Heart condition.

Add to that several issues at work which are thoughtless. So will exercise grace try to get better understanding.

Been lot of communication about the Late Matthew David Waller. Doesn't help using legal term. Trying to arrange positive beautiful way of Thanksgiving. For his 'unique special beautiful' LIFE. Also remember his gifts.

Hoping this week can get better health.

Finish all Legality around death of loved son. Loved and Missed.

Also wondering why two people Loved most, such depth are not in my LIFE. Emerging into end of my Autumn in few months l will legally get to retirement. May just withdraw a little, and reflect. Perhaps travel a bit more.

Me making plans, see how that one works out.

Will there be movies, hamburgers and hills to sit on just waste time chatting in Heaven ?.

Picked up an illness and my heart is compromised.

Feeling very ill 

Perhaps one of those days when 'old movie', help a person find solace, comfort,plus relieve the boredom.

Where do you turn when want to escape from mundane.? 

Will there be movies, hamburgers and hills to sit on just waste time chatting in Heaven ?

Hope so but so little hinted at ..Jesus hardly mentioned afterlife. Some Churches it the only theology they present, easy route ,avoids hard stuff around 'OT' prophets like Isaiah, Jeremiah .

Constant call to Urban lifestyle.

Brandy...honey..lemon... sleep.

How are You?

Greatness.

Simply not sure great faith is a trophy hold aloft, to say look at me...look at me...got this ..l am a Champion.

Perhaps we are better being so subtle, that others make that conclusion, or question us about our difference.

Not Badge wearer, not T-shirt statement wearer. Just hold Faith as a value.,

It still taking lot of getting used too.

Losing Matthew David my son, perhaps my best friend. Keep looking for signs about what l knew, what l missed. But still say ,"goodnite son." Don't send him a text. Still say," Hello in morning". 

  That day we said goodbye ,it didn't seam like End. But death came rushing visited us, you l think knew more. I missed it, but already said Goodbye . Sadness came towards me, realised that there are some types of people we met that day. Among 'living Angelic', who are familiar with dying and death, they guided us, then found my sense of God being close would be tested. 

I'm trying to answer this.....!

So when the question is asked about -Why is Faith of followers of Jesus failing?

What does failure look like!

Be careful we not just hurting each other,' Bride of Christ' in our answer.

Better question has to be ..

Are Christians relevant to Community?

Do we have different way to process issues, worries and concerns?

That Gets My juices flowing,

Makes me come alive, strive to answer!

Hi.

Between the first Hello and that last Goodbye.

Hope that the space, between the two is filled with love.

ME...l retired and went to bed.

 

About to hit coastal promenade, grab some milk, few work related issues. The mundane essential, pragmatic essential. Milk, T-Bags, mackerel and crusty bread, few Tomatoes not growing our own at present.

Adjust medical prescription. Whole LIFE going on, do we take for granted the everyday purpose? 

I appear to do!, Hopefully we can recognise how 'super spiritual stuff' happens with everyday nature.

Holistic ,(that includes, emotional, physical, leisurely and spiritual), are all interwoven. Where LIFE is happening.

We saw to a little degree sadly what happens when community goes wrong. I am outsider generally to the Club ,drinking culture. Beer, vulgar swearing, followed by loudness. All coming from the ST Patrick's gathering.

This is ugly side of community. Bit where people follow, No Leadership, lack of purpose and actually compromise. The drink became the focus, ugly political sentiment became expressed.

Result impacted others, spoilt the occasion. That's part of the pyramid of community.

Yet at BOCCIA club we laughed and shared. Nearby others appear to be spoiling for something?

ME...l retired and went to bed.

We are all connected.

Been with old friends had slight sojourn. Honestly did me Good, but despite distance, present stress trauma losing a family member been at times closer.

Hearts mend, time heals. Walking lot.

Suppose others are who we need to process whole of Life among.

In grief, and joy. 
Today's celebrate St Patrick's day. It's the mundane along with the spiritual.
However there is type of Spirit more evident. As 'outsider generally', to these events still like the joys. OK with others and way they go about the event.
Interesting that the day although Irish in tradition, Paddy's not a Irish guy.
One of my precious friends very instrumental in bringing others into event. Been nice witnessing him getting older person out for first time in quite a while.
So sense of 'Others' doing community. Still gathering, coming together, sense of belonging.

Just miss a lot our little chats.

Had few tears today Matthew. Weekend often so special. Heart breaks as hear your voice,

' Might do justice to a Yorkshire Breakfast'.

As we drove to the coast. Now car stays put, get longest bus rides, sit alone. Tell you stuff. Oh yeah don't get to 'our places' presently, not yet anyways.

Miss your botanical views on plants, names of birds,(told you about White wagtails ),ideas for music. Just seams such a waste you not being here Matty. So much want tell you about. Son, go on admit was right about how much "you'd be missed".

Here's why Love Wins through.

I have friends who are from different places.
They share different narratives.
Journeyed through difficulty this stumbling guy, not able to fully understand.
Recently spent beautiful moments quietly listening to different expressions of encounters that not been easy.
Remembered with one, difficult imprisonment, hard period, led to attempt at suicide.

Heard about thankfulness of simple walk in sunny park, tough issue sending money to troubled family members in west of place in middle East.
Seen new friendships expressions of gratitude, also had grief shared with others who lost a daughter, Brother, close friend, all too young.

l Believe all coulers will blend into one.

Believe Love wins. WHY.

Because encounters shared, experiences better understood, trauma overcome, loved one memory cherished. Still in darkest saddest period. Love, kindness compassion, and grace. Still are shown. That's why Love wins.

Different, becoming different

Some people go through life not engaging with bigger stuff. But if that's place they can live being happy. People like myself have to be with them in such contentment.

Just because l have different sense of focus, doesn't mean my way is incorrect nor that others is correct. Just different.

Let's be happy with difference, be happy others are content . Be kinda sojourner. Just been away. Had to be, although done this sadness of last month now become part of my nature.

Long rugged saltpans vast acepaleo of space, sat in group conversation. Mind flitting to memory. Administration tasks fulfilled. Interrupted by trivializing tasks. Don't feel like obliging people with information. Grateful to be included in gathering.

Glad able to be alone at times. LIFE going on but so different. Process will take rest of next few years to fully grasp.

Feeling Old.

You know that old trees just grow stronger, and old rivers grow wilder every day.

Old people just grow lonesome, So if you're walking down the street sometime

And spot some hollow ancient Eyes. Please don't just pass 'em by and Stare, if you didn't care, say, "Hello in there, hello"

Just a pilgrim.

In loss of loved person may feel in some ways like this...'Time sometimes appears on hold, Life no meaning. Tears arrive floods of emotions, tiredness perhaps pain .Practical stuff arrived both a requirement plus responsibility . Memories catch you out.'

No Disney movie, no comic book narrative, LIFE waiting for you. Life.

This is the greatest gift God can give you: to understand what happened in your life. ...

"All The people you meet here have one thing to teach you"That there are no random acts. That we are all connected. That you can no more separate one life from another than you can separate a breeze from the wind."

"Each affects the other and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one."
"The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone."

"That's what heaven is. You get to make sense of your yesterdays."

Quote from one of my favorite novels, deep spiritual  meanings 

The Five people you meet in heaven.

Also recommend. Tuesdays with Morrie ..

Mitch Alban.

This is the greatest gift God can give you: to understand what happened in your life. 

Guess just missing pushing that Son of mine up steep hills.

It's was always a good upper body workout, always a privilege, nearly always ended with a café visit cuppa then bite to eat. Guess Matthew, just miss pushing your Wheelchair with you seated, up steep hills.

Mind you

Champ, sometimes

We 

We're

Beaten.

Find long way

Round.

You always liked rich churches with history, Icons, sense of time. Sunday occasionally you'd find Cathedral. Spend own time, discovery in own pace.

There again find Church café. Such period quietly engage. That reflective studious look would appear. Gently we would slumber around the place. You again sharing something you had discovered.

We can all learn that way of being' in the presence of the Lord. Some people don't get spirituality here in these well tapestry rich' places. But you led here, many like Matty find a solace being alone. Something from the walls embraced and enveloped you. Took me a while to understand, your sharing became clear such moments where special. Again in the way many discover own theology, own understanding of God. Today in my heart we visited a place you would love.  Hope the many who find your awareness of God feel blessed the way l do today, thank you son. Guess I know not here but in my mind you remain.

Some of the most spiritual advice l can share with You.

1. Store your vinyl upright on its side. Never store it flat – this can warp the record

2. Do not touch the vinyl itself – always handle by the edges or the inner label only

3. Protect your vinyl from dust – store vinyl in the dust jacket and don’t leave your vinyl on the turntable after playback

4. If you have issues with playback try light cleaning with a carbon fibre brush

There is Love that sits on the settee alone, Wishes you were here.

We heard your name called out with 'memory of those gone before'. After the service sat for little while.

There is love that just sits quietly, like the old lady who cleaned the Church floors.

There is love that brings the Bread for communion we all partake. There is Love in the service preparation . A weekly Love that is portrayed. There is love that sits beside a bed as care is displayed. Love that keeps no score of the times Hospital visit was made.

There is love, that sees a White wagtail, doesn't know who to tell. There is Love that built that nest. Further love finds that nest, there is love sits at back of Church not knowing what comes next.

You my son have passed, Matthew, you are officially the Late Mr...There is Love that sits on the settee alone, Wishes you were here.

 

There is love that fights for justice. There is love that makes sure a Loved ones message is not forgotten.

When it’s tough , go out into Nature, Find God…plus young lad looking also at nature.

Growth does not reside in comfortable 'Boxset' binge Sofas in safe comfortable late nite TV culture.

They say if want to find God look into nature, there you will always find him. With tear stained eyes l also look and see you Son, exploring with your binoculars, at edge of river, that’s us place called 'Falling Foss'. there is Matty daft thing…picking up then rubbing ‘Owl pellet...’Turn to me discuss your findings. Some day l will have a walk, plus in my mind try take counsel with you. Later Return home, to miss you….So much Matty.

Growth does not reside in comfortable Boxset binge Sofa.

We are missing appointment to listen. We are missing appointment to gather. We are missing appointment to engage.

We are missing appointment to develop..my Friend Masied has-been last 4 years in hospitality industry with limited scope, in fact none to grow.

We both discussed , recognise lack of communication, less opportunity to develop, appears little desire to create community. Process in which we establish community has largely lost its value.

This instant 'Boxset' watch it immediately culture.

Has lost the values collectively  of listening with whole body, value of engaging deeper. Values of belonging even with those not in complete or partial agreement with.

We are poorer in spirit and character. These values do not get cherished. So we sleep in danger zone. 

Growth does not reside in comfortable 'Boxset' binge Sofas in safe comfortable late nite TV culture. Away from others.

Love good communication the kind that opens us up to display our honesty enables us to understand each others humanity.