Breathe it's a difficult stressful period.
Reminding myself to pause. Reflect and breathe on.
Look for God seek his guidance help and strength.

It all seemed so important then.

It all seemed so important then policy guidelines informed practices. Staff meetings exciting new contracts ..hourly rate of £7-05...opportunity to advance to part-time route in part-time qualification. JNC recognised...Collage ..University...Placements..Practice documents etc...It all seamed so important then.

In the film ...'The Great Escaper'.. there something sad but special ,strong but vulnerable,delicate yet resilient about the characters who main LIFE issue to those observing was impact of War.

Ten years ago on the 70th D-Day anniversary, 89-year-old Bernie made headlines across the world when he became ‘the great escaper’. Bernie left The Pines care home in Hove, who thought he was planning to meet friends in Portsmouth to reminisce about D-day and Normandy, but instead he caught a ferry to France to pay his respects to his fallen comrades.

Back to the film .Confident it was and still remains so very important.last word spoke in the film is... Tossers....Last act is old gent letting down the tyres of self important :- it's all about us Cyclists.

It sums up vital aspect of our society.

Who are the tossers who don't care about those around them nor journey they have taken?

Who are these elite how do we recognise them? What acts would scupper their plans causing them to look at larger picture?

It all seamed so important then so very important. I was wrong sometimes that's just me...it's just me.

You don't have to prove nothing to nobody.

Do people sometimes hide from others how difficult life along with the stuff associated really is ?

We talk in counselling/active listening terms as masking...‘masking’ often means “putting on a brave face”, “keeping up appearances”,  “pretending things are better than they really are.” its the games we humans often play. I'm ok you're OK. but often the person is not.

They have written lots of books on the issue enough to make us all stop taking the pills. But there never is enough Loved. 

Ask Cher.

I know people hurt you so bad

They don't know the damage they can do

And it makes me so sad

How we knock each other down

Just like children on a playground

Even after that old sun went down

I was either standing in your shadow or blocking your light

Though I kept on trying I could not make it right

For this girl

There's just not enough love in the world

Oh, darling, this is still a shady little town

Sometimes it's so hard to smile

For the world, for the camera

Still have something left

You don't have to prove nothing to nobody

Just forgive yourself.

You don't have to prove nothing to nobody.

I loved whole 'in-service training' along with credited certified qualifications. Not intellect notebook person indeed left school with no qualifications, was expelled kicked out and told l was not welcome.  When l discovered further education was a vocational route l could process very well. It became a way to grow develo and improve the person that my profession required. Not on my own in discovering this guy from male working class background. Empathy was something discovered, listening was something l didn't realise was a skill.

The most important thing was how do other people process LIFE ?

What experiences have they processed to get here or still journeying towards.?

There are no quick solutions. Joy is we can share our humanity. It's beautiful.

A Sandbox for teenagers growing up.

That conversation that was warm and not expected. Someone shared with myself  information that demonstrated they trusted me plus accepted advice you offered.

Heron stood on the bridge over the river unaware of others, (So it seams). Buzzard circling higher then higher up and out of sight.
Top of Ravenscar peak in cooler September evening `stars cosmic man`.

When we found out that locally small Fish and chips is called `Half a Lot. and it was enough. Surprise sometimes when it had quite a few pieces of fish. Unpacked them at Seal Sands ate till full.

Moment when `Tee Pees` are erected, sat around the stove is on Quite long journey because someone wanted to see `Villas ground`. Aston Villa as we passed Birmingham. Laughed at extra miles plus the detour. Cooking noodles with loads of chicken in our recipe broth.

`Chloe's` screams as in North Yorkshire we visited Count Dracula's experience. Most of us didn't find it scary. Sat later on the wreck of a boat, just of `Staithes` all thrilled.

When we traveled to play football in west end of Newcastle, the Romanian kids against adhoc team we could muster, score was so stupid the laughter so plenty, the insults never occurred, friendships cemented. The day was bathed in hot temperate and cups of tea were waiting as we headed back to a Church hall meeting up with other youths.

Always as now captured on dusty photos images that bring a tear, we had just this strange feeling.Godly beautiful feeling, there was enough stupidity among these groups mainly forgotten, impoverished kidz ,that the world is still somewhere full of kindness, many gentle full of grace acts, funny people.

It was always the simplicity of hot mugs of tea, sat chatting something to do with snacks and waiting, Waiting. Enjoyed each moment often in Gods cathedral always a talk about some Kingdom way of being.

 A Sandbox for teenagers growing up and needing these moments of retreat, refreshment, time to slightly escape grow in holistic fullness. 

— it is a social and moral crisis.

Who controls artificial intelligence and for whose benefit.

We are really struggling economically, morally, the AI concerns are buying up valuable time. The issues is lot simpler then others are prepared to admit!

What do they have in the game? Why are they reluctant to face straight on this delima? often Politics is corrupted and lacks compass that can steer collective into proper forum to address concerns.

There Appears to be a `system error` in that AI is making us less capable of working. A system error. it needs rebooting think that's close to being an oxymoron. Classic system error. Less capable of cogent organised approaches. AI interrupts most business from `sounds in the gym`. Programmes delivered to increase fitness. Car mechanical issues. AI Makes phone calls independently, then it tracks people's history and attempts too impact interest.

We can't browse areas of interest because then we get targeted because Power of AI. Shaping who, when, for what reason we contact various platforms.

Fake news becomes a regular interjection. Young people prevented from thinking stuff through. Then there is the fear factor.

Hopefully we are now becoming Aware we have started tackling these Al concerns.

                         It is a social and moral crisis.

Hull A City falling to Liberals ripping its soul away with burden of immigrants, destroyed from the inside.

 "I have to say sorry,” said Jakirovic from the balcony. “I was brought here with one job to do: keep Hull City in the Championship. I failed, because we are going to the Premier League."

"Wow @HullCity An amazing achievement. With all the controversy and noise, you still got it done. Congrats to you and your town."

And we dreamed , we dared to dream some travelled watched cheered, invested some of us just sat on the sidelines observing. Other felt the lose of family and dream of a City falling to the liberals ripping its soul away with burden of immigrants. Unable to visit own City centre because the image associated with equality and diversity is Ghetto style city ruined for them and the children they brought into this Hell of a city. 

Its a City where now the `full hijab` is more visible then Arab states, Ethiopian and male African natives focus on trips to the coffee culture . Where is it going to be in 5 years if after the last 5 years seen this Hell hole created in Hull grows.

The issue of Misogyny cultural abuse was evident yesterday in Hull. Negros walking around first day in Hull arrived UK recently. Freedom chimes, Arses on display with pants down displaying cheeks, `corn cut` hairstyles in gangs 4 and 5 observing the ladies. Oppressive and discriminatory.

Discouraged to see these issues so evident plus clear. We have regressed as a Society my home town mirrors this large. Gone has community cohesion, Gone has freedom to critic a Religion that approves of mistreatment of females. Gone have the notions that liberal experiment is fruitful.

It's damaging depressing, cruel harsh, very much promoted by Male Politian's removed from consequences or ready to acknowledge this huge mistake.

Not feeling the noise...

Loneliness has followed me my whole life. Everywhere. In bars, in cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere. There's no escape. I'm God's lonely man... June 8th. My life has taken another turn again. The days can go on with regularity over and over, one day indistinguishable from the next.

This is a quote from a film Taxi driver disturbing watch but iconic classic well acted by method king 'De Niro'.

Been spreading word around to others about love of movies and inferred values you connect with then ...well simply discuss issues share feelings, emotional thinking, any similarities between your LIFE plus those around your LIFE.

Been to a gathering that just because of who l am. Did not like it was not my thing, not my thing, nothing else, but showed others my presence. Gave it a try.

Didn't like the noise
Didn't like costly add on's.
Didn't like the heat.
Didn't like the just arrived migrants cultural unaware but still being ugly in their dress and input.

We are...

 Exciting times for everyone associated with my home town club and so many others are thrilled.

In this neighbourhood.

Round here not best educated. 
Some folk they fall to addictive behaviour.
Heros of the wine bottle.
Church. Faith. Reflection. Discussion.
Well they simply don't feature too much in every day plans of most folk.
They got something better they believe.
But l see bitterness repeated arguments inability to offer Grace nor forgiveness.

Round here, not such a nice place.
I've had my time here seasoned this place round here with my presence.
Now like the Fair it's my time to move on and move away.
Round here hope what I've invested will bear some fruit.
But it won't round here!
Because round here the folks hearts are hardened.

Could it be poverty.?
Could it be emotional literacy plus very poor educational attainment ?
Could it be lack of economic well being ?
Could it be that the bottle of Rum nestled in your bag is more valuable round here ?
Could it be that the rugby takes all your efforts and money round here so a couple of pint glass ingredients sunk most days is all you wish to invest.?

Could it be that no one was here to point the way.?  My time round here is ending.

Sometimes love leaves.

 Іѕ there а bаr uр there where уоu'vе gоt а fаvоrіtе сhаіr?
Where уоu ѕіt with friends and talk аbоut thе weather?
Іѕ there а рlасе уоu gо to watch thе sunset?
Аnd, оh, is there а song уоu јuѕt can't wait tо ѕhаrе?
Yeah, І know, you'll tell mе when І gеt there.

You have to in most situations in Life look at the complete picture, get the whole perspective. In football or Boxing who can play, who's trained enough to be ready, what are the tactics the fighter should use. In a match at soccer how we put the team together which  players we can use get the best game. One should approach the game like we do LIFE  trying to examine our perspective and react sometimes in different ways? LIFE Brings issues, stress situations. So we think about them, later try to find the best solutions.

Perspectives.

Saturday will offer my home town football team an opportunity to play at Wembley and gain promotion to the premier league.

 

I think we all need to pause and reflect.

        Success is not final, failure is not fatal:
       it is the courage to continue that counts

Human beings act with free choice, so if its the choice to shoplift, no amount of poverty can excuse that. Its choice. Poverty is an issue but too often worked with families who choose satellite TV over board games. Fast food over nourishing meal as a family.

Its a choice to watch the TV soaps and play out that drama with mates at school gates. Its harder choice to engage with everyday challenge of family relationships. I meet teenagers who cannot read nor can they write. Someone choosing a DVD over a book in the home cabinet. If the latest fashion warrants your income to be spent in that manner its chic to dress above your means, Support to fashion will dictate your processing and values. Its a bad choice to listen to your music loudly in a MacDonald's. Impacting others. We cant always lack incentive to change, we have to desire self improvement.

We must encourage each other to question what choices we are making and why, look for inspiration and lead by example. if you can`t afforded the item, we are still going to do well. If we don't have we will not steal from another. If we can share our resources plus our stewardship is vital with what we hold and how we use that resource.
Give thanks, express gratitude.

Let me be try please be bit honest with you. Three views found in North East

Let me be try please be bit honest with you.

On the East riding buses, personally don't just, don't talk on the phone.

In a quiet street, its just me don't shout.

At a restaurant, look at prices then wait in line, enjoy the occasion.

Like me many we are polite to strangers.

further pay for all l receive before its receive.

Don't have `Gold card`, Don't buy stuff do not require.

We apologize if we offend, if have a faith we explain.

if you insult or make fun of our Faith we recognise that's its allowed.

These aren't rules. There's no law for any of them.

Its just good ethical conduct even though of course we have delimas.

They are just 2000 years of small daily Judos Christian values,

we cherish promises

we keep, without being asked.

Do all these things above even when no one is watching.

If you can love that, you will love us. We as it follows will love you back.

This is from a BBC Report about money being paid to shops on many UK high streets despite the knowledge of border control, this is common practice in divided bitter community called the United Kingdom. A second tout who the BBC met met gave them phone number of the smuggler Ahmad, Now you may heard that name before often used by religious followers of a fake Prophet. Ahmed had been operating out of northern France for more than five years.

Takes some digesting just up to this stage read that gain.

On the phone, Ahmad - who spoke Farsi and said he was from Afghanistan - told the undercover researcher they could pay via one of three UK businesses, including at a shop called Afg Mobile Repair in Woolwich.

The crossing would cost £2,700 for two people.

As many prepare to go to Church in my locality.

So they allowed a hate march on the doorstep of a synagogue today. Yet again as Jewish people went to worship in fearful environment. There were next to no arrests while people called for ‘intifada’ further displayed the flag of Palestinian terrorist organisations.

Placards held aloft by children who couldn't know any different , but by students who should be educated to higher calling them this. Claimed that the UK is controlled by ‘Zionists’ we are all destroyed by ‘greed’. A common old Jews are 'fagin type' Dickensian portrait characters with big noses.

As l prepare to go into fellowship. Others vent hatred we have sunk so low. I will sing your praises not in a fearful environment but a bluebell coated scene where l will read in a Church bathed in sunlight.

They wouldn't dare would they, because they got the Jewish people to target . They won't target us will they?

Love that's makes you a cup of tea.....

 Love that makes a cup of tea.

You don't need to have any further wisdom. No need no more than that this Saturday evening in May 2026.

We are damaged, we are not best ...but we're not Broken.

In the underrated excellent series Broken. The priest acted well by Sean Bean  focuses on Michael Kerrigan ,we see the focus on everyday stuff includes, wrestling with doubt, guilt, uselessness, play in most extraordinary manner by actor.  Something we all experience in mission in professional work especially in community settings. He feels incapable of delivery of the faith aspects of his Priesthood. Holy sacraments are Challenged as he often recalls his unsuitability. Someone mentioned in Church this struggle with a monthly presentation.

You see we may project our knowledge, we should prepare well use best resources we can muster. But something internally frays our senses as we realise the huge burden of communication our message.
Communication in faith work, in children teaching, Priestly positions, further other all call for talking with elegance, clarity, humor and much more.
At the end of 'Broken' the wonderful series...everyone come up for the sacraments says the following...Thank you you wonderful Priest.
So well written by legend that is Jim McGovern. We don't get to hear these comments, we don't make those expressions. We have to accept that it simply the way of miscommunication. We don't say the nice things we don't affirm others enough. But we should.

So l ask....
Why are we not good at communicating honestly affection, love, support and thankfulness.?
Why are we so slow to offer grace?
How can we improve in these areas?

Not present....always been in a rough place.

 Disability, my journey, tiredness and fatigue, my odd energy levels, weird strange thing called` theology`.
Trying to develop get comfortable in a strange place not wanting to form human relationships, recognise got bit more awkward, wrestling with spaces like the one between spirituality and my ischemia heart condition. Health Battle with tablets. Very challenging sleeping pattern early hours, short days, several days a week when `best describe as disappearing`. Not present as l sleep four times extra to the previous day. When my heart gives up it just cuts me out. 

MY JOURNEY INCLUDES;- Spiritual meaning in Movies, low culture, Sports. History, Entertainment, Classic Rock, Country Muzak ,Northern soul, Health+issues

well l always been in a rough place, most of my LIFE  Hull is one letter from hell most times looks like a Marvel Gotham city template, with crime drugs, immigrants, dirt and Dickensian conditions a plenty.

Hulluensions are from a forgotten place, but last night again we rise from the ashes to try congueros the football world trying to join the elite.

Brilliant Hull City off to Wembley after deserved play-off win at Millwall. That's done my heart lot of good plus the culture of the environment in the City has changed a little. well done Hull city players, supporters and Manager plus staff.

The Tigers are now just one game away from a sensational Premier League return. City will now face the winner of Southampton or Middlesbrough. We don't care its put us back on the football map. where many feel we belong. Hull not always Hell here.

They excerised power to own advantage. Now losing that position.

The weather here has been exceptionally chilly, wet and bitterly cold. Like we are still in winter me alongside some of my friends found this actual experience hard.

Politically the UK situation is messed up but nastiness between the elite towards the democratic process is interesting. A vote took place to leave the EU that was democracy in action. Another issue, tack the local elections last week into a place those whose duposyity has been in place for decades now been threatened. The situation been found to be unwarranted. People who should have the power. Decided that the power belongs to them.

Not to those who took the power and decided a change was required.But the UK government cannot accept change, cannot accept losing a hold they have over others. They got to much to lose privileges, food, benefits, keeping weaker in places of submission. They excerised power to own advantage. Now losing that position.

Why does the anger that the democratic order managed to suppress materialise when they are voted out. Why can't the political elite become grateful at those expressing a solution to something that's not what they require. They voted they spoke they can now disappear and work on implementing what's been asked.

Been about longest winter without ....well since we said goodbye.

 Been about 2 years and 3 months since we said   goodbye. The Buzzard flew higher-up then higher up, circling, telling me a story giving me a sign. Most of all reminding me of Teeside on the edge of dirty northern town not far from Seal sands. You told me about flight patterns eyesight of fierce predators. Searched the land below to find vulnerable wildlife suitable for next meal.

This old fool misses his only son wrapped up against the cold while chilly northcoast sea cuts through. Coulers of the day send odd shadows across beach and dale. Day is lasting longer even hint of warmth. But you know this one has been the longest winter without you.

Only so they could stop parties they don't like..not REALLY PARTY NO DANCING

 These Green Party candidates didn’t win any council seats you’ll be pleased to know. Heard people were going to vote tactically today by selecting candidates from one party only so they could stop parties they don't like.. I voted for Lib Dem's so that we can keep ------ (add your own preference). Which is my the aim! Well how sad is that ?

Retired pastor Clive Johnston has been convicted for preaching on John 3:16 within one of Northern Ireland’s controversial abortion censorship zones.

The former President of the Association of Baptist Churches in Ireland, who is being supported by The Christian Institute, has been convicted of two charges under the Abortion Services (Safe Access Zones) Act for holding an open-air service on the fringes of a buffer zone opposite Coleraine’s Causeway Hospital last year.

Now here's the rub and many of faith community, followers of Jesus don't wish to communicate. (My tribe).

He is causing distress.

he is behaving oppressively.

he is being harsh not necessary. 

There is protection for these people at vulnerable disturbing experience, the journey may not be yours or mine. But its there Journey. If you wish to influence them offer a place nearby where they could come and sit have a cuppa talk to people of the same gender. Its simple and able to deliver this alternative. But no that would never happen because it would mean putting your self out serving others and may not get publicity and profile.

The journey may not be yours or mine. But its another persons Journey. Its painful hurting journey full of, l would imagine discomfort, and sorrow. But Male wants to be in the spotlight first and for most.

My health kicked in and its bit challenging.

My health been challenge but not as half as challenging getting some anti biotics from the surgery so the triage question included issues around sexuality age, trans question, female and my pregency. Told them to SOD OFF.  You know going to be ill don't need this stupid question and answer hurdles.

                                  Hull one letter from Hell, Reform are voted into the political climate and tonight's its the playoff round one. Hull City's record against their play-off rivals Millwall may be positive going into this weekend's semi-final. But these exciting games are difficult to navigate as a fan, there are pretty nail biting. Plus the prospect of playing in Premier league for ' lowly Humble club' and city has been rewarding. One bonus plus, allowed some good discussions.

Mostly we just don't quite grasp how precious this thing called faith is.

 Do you like myself, sometimes long for understanding. For a sense of wholeness. For a way to gently weave bringing together what we believe, the myth that we know as Faith in Jesus. Then we should share what we often experience, it does something special holding Faith.

Really odd because l'm nothing special , probably pretty boring, if one chooses to examine LIFE I live. The Faith thing is a bit of a mythical thing but it has quietly lived within myself perhaps you are the same. Journeys are special, beautiful and you will understand if hold a Faith understanding.

However you got here, We've got to share it acknowledge this and treasure this thing called faith. Christian belief. Religious experience , whatever you call this, it's been with you and never left. It really is WOW, but why are we keeping quiet sometimes embarrassed?  Mostly we just don't quite grasp how precious this thing called faith is.

In church today some one shared with myself that they visit Church to light a candle and say a prayer for a son and a daughter who died. Listened quietly they left but they had found something precious in the event they still feel deeply.

Just a pre election local political day.

 It's important we follow guidelines for political moments and don't make any leaning statement these days.

Weather came around chilly May Day `after day`.

What blend of public policies could entertain strangers, and still draw angels unawares?
What balance might give life to all?

So lets get a bit deeper in a world that appears to myself as previously stated lost so much focus. The world of `tik tok...twitter..instant this and instant that`. We spend more time self absorbed. The journey to collect my prescription was simple. A journey taking me passed fields of gold. Passed bungalows and isolated buildings across canals via bridge. Round old towns into the edge of Old city of Hell.

Weather came down freezing in May day after day. I wondered about the young folk even in green grass of beautiful park with children's laughter innocence of swings roundabouts and slides. The harsh expressions of lost 16+ who wheeled, (Rode powered bike on one wheel alarming others), through this area causing havoc and concern. the Not bothered `playtime louts`, out to spoil an event. The `feet on bus seats girls` taking space and energy as they `vaped` no regard for rules , health and regulations.

You see folks it is the simple everyday stuff that spoils and interferes with LIFE processing.
You see folks it is the simple everyday stuff that delights and thrills the LIFE processing. 

Think of others have the interest of those weaker and vulnerable as your guide, value space, enjoy the joy others are experiencing. Look after your health plus your time in this space on that journey. 

So really do we get the leaders we deserve

Confused question this one isn't..

It's why do we get such poor leadership.?  Is the emotional bondage tied to certain political parties a reason to vote in a heritage sense. 'Well you know we always voted for them' to 'it's because of our class we vote this way'. They have always done best for out lot round here. And so the rot carries into as nother political vote like the one across local regions soon in the UK.

It's not just about causing trouble or meaning others voting differently are weird. It's the awful ignorance of the leaders. Looking after themselves lack of cohesive approaches to the local communities and the issues they are facing. Vincent van Gogh painted stars based on his memory he recalled them from his cell in hospital. He couldn't see them so he had remember what they looked like.

We need to look back at leaders to get a compass around how they should lead now. Because present cohorts just cannot present accurately. All present government that lack purpose, no nature being in post only to create discord,  interest in own self harmony. From gifted suits they wear, to eye glasses they have been given, expensive for breakfast which out weight most people living income for the week. They are far removed from reality. Even in house of commons they wear boiler suits and spend time eyes down on social media.

Lack spiritual guidance, economic understanding. Tik took values guide them shallow views embarrass those who could but should not cast a vote. We don't get what we deserve but how we need a system that records such disaffection. 

On a day of football emotions. What can you learn from old Western on a Saturday evening..

Show me a more deserving football club.If You can with lots of Injuries, some weird season long finical embargo’s,l. Quite a few weird strange decisions by dodgy refs, players from varied leagues and experiences results which like throwing in the kitchen sink. Yet we still as team that let the fans down not good results recently. We have got through and get the job done in the play offs.

Hailed as our football champion. Ugly brawling old fashioned,center forward. However there is  compassionate side to our star player Oli Mcburnie. What a year it has been supporting this absolutely amazing football club. Onwards Hull city my boyhood club my home town team. UTT We say up the Tigers.

Odd role for Chuck Conners but quite the vehicle for Gregory Peck  in the Big Country. Now time to sit back watch life through the lens of western... Big Country... Such emotions as jealousy, cowardness, huge issues, all sorts of conflict. Real country divide by rivalry. Enemies and wrong way to resolve issues. What can you learn from old Western on a Saturday evening.

Resilience. Ethics how to confront dilemmas. How to use a gun.