Garden talk ...

Today we said goodbye. While l was at friends funeral marking end to long suffering with Austio phariutus... It damaged his body it's so cruel. But he championed the illness fought bravely working in many ways that surprised others.

I sit in the middle of the garden in the Autumn of my years on another hailstorm tainted summer day. Spitting up blood, coughing a harsh noise that's been with me since February. " You'll need to a triage so we can get you an appointment."

No fed up waiting in your lines. Soldier onwards. suggestion is picked up lounge issue. The triage ask questions about my Male pregnancy, how l wish to identify myself, all stuff feels so useless not filling in...oh yeah again Authorities hassling me for not displaying my disabled badge.

The country is in turmoil political, threats and illegally laws are not performing the required matrix. The one that allows vulnerable victimised to witness justice. It's deep day time to ponder endings, losing dear people and being left out.

So sitting in the garden in the middle of my years...

As you should. Lots of housework all boring stuff being gathering for a long time perhaps soon it will be over. Not life hoping for longer but this period of my deconstruction from Coast to rural town, to village constructing.

Sat in this place while on a island l love others gather.

 “For me, these people are like my brothers,” said 74-year-old Dominic Anastasi, who has watched generations of collectors gather outside his shop since becoming Malta’s sole distributor of Panini stickers in 1970.

What do you know now that you didn't know than?

“We do not know what the future looks like. What we do today, has to matter to people we will never meet?  The world is worth repairing even though we won’t finish the job?"

Time with my mates from late 70s the late 80s in decades that what l mean not age ways . There was brilliance sense of really belonging because we had to fight in the square ring. 20 rounds times 3 times a week often . Hurting each other blood, sweat, some tears, victories and accepting defeat.

Travelling but work called us mostly next day. Write ups about our exploits. Warmth of  glass of coke in local pub most Friday evenings before heading home. Because LIFE was tough hard and poverty was a factor, think whole experience past us. Now in these autumn days we are in place where value of important stuff like friendship good memories and certain type of spirituality is at least present for some of this group.

We are the people who have run the race. Still growing , developing, walking with health issues. Seeing with perspective of age.

Who do you gather with?

Who shares your journeyman knowledge?

What do you know now that you didn't know than? 

Who gonna hold your

hand when you call ?

not made for things like sharing

Men prefer to drink a great deal.
Perhaps they feel better after certain amount of alcohol.
We feel comfortable with old days of grand sport but struggle when it's 
Misuse agenda, or even family concerns they become uncomfortable too much of a challenge. Life is tough,  life is hard life can be a struggle.
But seldom can we face this we choose more than the female of the speicies.we chose to hold it inside.
Feel strong just not made for things like sharing on a deep level.

There nothing wrong with my mates.But they have lived a great deal in this area. They should want to improve sharing literacy around emotions. 

...'I feel ..

I want to say this too you all...

How can l explain better what's struggles currently facing...'

Its not taught informally.

Growth never resides in place classed as comfortable.

Read more, pray longer, digest slower.

The news is Always loud, so switch off due to moving. But look found don't miss the noise. Cut it out for a while getting more done. Mostly repeated on misinformed circle. While Life's dramas unfold genuinely as they should.

Not been missing any conversation starters. Aware of real stuff further focused differently. It's my clarity. These are all points to affirm you should probably may perceive a similar route for yourself. Also denying myself the behaviour issues that happen if get attached to the noise.

Switch off. Read more pray longer digest slower. It's working for myself.

Really asking ...

                     So how are you?

U2 been part of my life since about 1982.

 "It's a little NGO with a big kick for kids with all of the talent and none of the access," as Larry put it. "Our band are proud supporters." 

Adam, Edge, Bono and Larry were guests at the tournament final and Larry met the teams before tossing the coin at the start of the match.

                      U2 been part of my life since about 1982.

All the talents and none of the access...

WOW that is deep read it again, this amplifies my LOVE  for these guys, it was Einstein who said that synchronicity is God’s way of reminding us that nothing happens by accident.’ contemporaneousness it may be but do you find some kind of connection that happens. ITs a GODNESS l call it that sense you get whether your a faith person Or you are just a spiritual person with no religious ties. Many often get these feelings that something is joining the dots.

Bringing things together.

Moved often by these actions were minds and hearts which are soulful parts of us are brought together. Joined in U2 thing like l often do with music connected with lyrics' the emotions the BPM whatever, stayed with Dylan, stayed with Northern souls, stayed with Springsteen , stayed with Motown wider soul because heart was moved , My mind grew and l stayed.

That's why Love U2 its in my heart, moves my feet, stirs my heart. Again and again.

Poor preparation produces pitiful performance.

Been let down
Been rejected.

Suffering because of incompetence of another.Some ways in which I am suffering includes health palpitations in heart, lack of sleep, unable to plan, economic well being further damage.

Letting others down because they have agreed good will to assist myself. So now have to let them down. Change further alter plans now have Stress. Stress is a  word personally don't use without understanding weight it carries. 

Poor preparation produces pitiful performance.

Here's the rub these things happen occasionally we need to adjust to poor management delivery. Except it's common practice. It is how LEAs local government functions. Not uncommon it the way WOKE warriors delivery. They know the rights they have on place of society. They now how to get time off but delivery of a service to service users not part of the process 

Thru can travel the world on fake news but they can't lifts broom to do the job they are employed for.

They have different work times next week to this week. But they fail to deliver. Travel in car journey adjusting time duties, so Spotify playlist is updated but place a urgent phone call to get as example ...Cleaners to a home ..Urgent client base for medical help...update family member about care plan...these are not Achieved.

Poor preparation. Woeful approaches, bad production values, it is pitiful. The main product is failure of service provision.

East Riding County Council in East Yorkshire is prime delivery of poorly prepared pitiful, unprocessed service provision. 

Trust me it's an area I know about first hand. 

Breathe it's a difficult stressful period.
Reminding myself to pause. Reflect and breathe on.
Look for God seek his guidance help and strength.