My mind taking me to another place where l feel comfortable settled and happy. So find need to stop when I can just think. Also may have cuppa then bit of people watching observing sense of faith..Share this  with others ...listen carefully ... Other will having similar experience 

 On this we conquer funny that was it really Constantine who transformed the faith. Many say so. Me just a northern lad trying to not do so much.

Stranglised...strange but happened.

Feel stranglised. Like drawn again plus again into situations with mainly people don't need to share life with anymore. The hold we had no longer a format need to share. Weighty paragraph.

Conflict Resolution offered along with the nature of walking daily or more whenever possible not something we can share further. As already explained. I have left the area. This part of my being is no longer around. The clouds look larger here in vastness. That chilly north sea breeze, part of the recent past gone perhaps forever.

We gather no more to idle along the promenade. No more do we observe the bikers nites, the concerts, the building works nor the men alone late at night fishing with damaged minds blighted by tales of stinging poverty. Still getting processed calls, "can you walk the dogs". "When will you be around?". I won't. Those moments only serve now to stranglise myself. It's not a cutting off it's recent ending that was known to be coming.

The clouds along the Vale of York look larger the horizon more vast the expanse across further plains. it's more huge and it makes me feel optimistic. The last month's was hectic brought return to poor health. Reminding myself why had to pilgrim away.

Forever grateful for the time with those folks. The joys we shared the conversation we had.

So to new portals reminding me of previous excursions with groups, 3 day hikes to Robin Hoods bay. Two days to recover long bus journeys back falling asleep. There no such age as forever young just getting old and feeling old. There no such place as l don't feel my age. No each year is eventually  a place called the end. Life is a journey.

Moving on into journeys final destination.

SO now the journeys are different the traffic flows in strangely less hurried purpose, the trees are engagement l like to observe, along with the animal in the fields which of course being Britain are of a sameness. The college come higher education place that now pass every journey away, is the one our beloved but departed Matthew loved so much. even though there is a tug on my heart it feels OK passing his spiritual home. 

Matthew David loved and missed fresh every day.

Our new pasture garden has lots of small visitors from Ophthalmology perspective coal tits, wrens, robins, starlings, small blackbirds. Great deal to be done make our small garden with 7 trees a place to seek sanctuary.

Village is more quiet the sounds of urban coastal noise is absent. There just appears less noise from the aggression, noticed very few people vape .The smell of coastal climate threat comes from drugs like cannabis is absent hence lack of aggression. People and l note need to be appearing judgmental , but saying what witnessed are better dressed, talk less, have much clearer nature. Locality is more silent. More at rest.

Already had people visit, talked longer. Old folk from that place by the coast have asked me to perform tasks which are no longer part of myself. Those duties were always unofficial. now they are unwelcome. parting of the ways.

Listen....

The sound of Life it's movement is more silent.

The sound ..yes the sound is a lot less.

That sounds is different it's lot quieter more silent.

Life's perspectives.

Nature can be the most wonderful place to feel happy walking with friends ' getting your steps in'.. commonly heard expression. It's place to retreat and invest in yourself while this ever changing narrative unfold in images around oneself. Chatting away eat something healthy feeling better for gathering and passing the time.

The concept of Conservation Areas was 
established more than 40 years ago in 
the 1967 Civic Amenities Act. This 
enables the importance of areas rather 
than individual buildings to be 
recognised.

Nature can be quite a dangerous place to feel happy in, machines are dangerous, if walking around fields with friends have to be vigilant about what else is happening. Although lovely it can be uncomfortable. Always changing smell of manure, dangerous group of cattle look aggressive, threatening. Sometimes best to get out of danger head home to the TV set. Switch off stay indoors remain safe.

LIFE sometimes it just about, often just about, how you see things.

He had simply followed one rule: "Paint the things you love".

 I don’t support ,(because see the biased ways many will be treated), don't support rioting but when BLM movement perform their tricks, looting, fighting, accusing , Labour plus those already in government confirmed that many MPs should speak to the 'black community and listen'.

Following the scenes in Northern Ireland of lot of rioting, didn't hear about looting. Belfast, No Labour MP has bothered, (at least not seen any Political elite) visit or mentioned desire to speak to white, working class communities to listen to their concerns?

We should all matter but proving difficult to get behind the noise and see same reaction to killing on street corners, the loose way in which Turkish barbers are doing business on our streets. Beheading on public street in UK. Sexual trafficking leaving girls in danger in UK.

Its awful ugly moment in UK at present do not see this improving anytime soon.

David Hockney has died. His huge achievement was to make serious painting look effortless. He carried forward one of the most sustained investigations into vision, space and representation, witnessed him working in North Yorkshire on the Big trees project.

There was something simple in the way he shared his techniques. Some affirming about whole process. No labelling himself as 'the greatest', it's was Always just try to do it. Then paint it 20 time paint it 4 times. Colours always vibrant bright inviting. Mr Hockney was inviting warm friendly, very generous with his time and talents.

It's a time of beauty a life's theme of simple transformative Art. Inspiration, plus available to any who liked to paint things.

if woke = compassion.....Accept its doesn't pet.

 

I am trying to find my way and if woke = compassion, this is where I want to eventually be....

                                                  Accept its doesn't pet. 

WOKE Simply not there!

The movies don't always cried out meaning.

Sometimes when the Rock, the Art form, cries out inferred messages they make great sense becoming a vehicle for implying a value or a virtue. Communicating in a way that enables greater better different understanding of an issues you wish to identify.

Other odd times despite it flying a flag it doesn't transfer and indeed it's pretty rubbish, it's a rotten stinking tomatoes type of wasteful.product.

They sold us a story full of great stars true life affirming story. Actors we had grown up with actually morally they started in some fantastic stories upon the big screen. But on own lives they had strong compassion. So invested time on this project expecting a good return for my commitment.

But it's not genuine, it's a big let down, alcohol and sexual cohesion behaviour, old guys as often getting a paycheck for swearing, thin story line, absent of energy. It's works as a buddy movie but been down too often not very well. Old movies like ' Easy rider' film of the book, 'On the road'. Work better 

'Walk on the Woods', had Redford,Nolte,Emma Thompson,so called stars however, film doesn't it flops hard task stay for the full period. Story of failure hints at life lived.Also suggest bit of living to be done. The characters are selfish tho his theme throughout the movie.

Yes disappointed but personal view you may experience whatever.

Walking the non talk.

 Been thinking a lot about need to hermitage away for a desert experience. Finding few people need to deconstruct from what's being said to them along with what they are feeling. Need to grasp  a pace and a space away from what's on offer.

Pace is word that mean firstly. Like person too busy to relax into moments. Too busy to enjoy breathing. Not getting time for themselves. So called lead us away , real feeling reality experience, not in Zoom space...Not In internet Church.

Yes l have paused for your laughter.

But real experiences of retreating to sojourner into space away. To breathe, chat without being measured, also enjoy having wrong answer..Not suggesting we deconstruct but may have less to do with those who are managing us. Those who got shuttle power over us. May change patterns of what we have been simply do not know. Just really feel group forming who need to be away and walk to grow. With like minded traveller.

Garden talk ...

Today we said goodbye. While l was at friends funeral marking end to long suffering with Austio phariutus... It damaged his body it's so cruel. But he championed the illness fought bravely working in many ways that surprised others.

I sit in the middle of the garden in the Autumn of my years on another hailstorm tainted summer day. Spitting up blood, coughing a harsh noise that's been with me since February. " You'll need to a triage so we can get you an appointment."

No fed up waiting in your lines. Soldier onwards. suggestion is picked up lounge issue. The triage ask questions about my Male pregnancy, how l wish to identify myself, all stuff feels so useless not filling in...oh yeah again Authorities hassling me for not displaying my disabled badge.

The country is in turmoil political, threats and illegally laws are not performing the required matrix. The one that allows vulnerable victimised to witness justice. It's deep day time to ponder endings, losing dear people and being left out.

So sitting in the garden in the middle of my years...

As you should. Lots of housework all boring stuff being gathering for a long time perhaps soon it will be over. Not life hoping for longer but this period of my deconstruction from Coast to rural town, to village constructing.

Sat in this place .., meanwhile on a island l love others gather.

 “For me, these people are like my brothers,” said 74-year-old Dominic Anastasi, who has watched generations of collectors gather outside his shop since becoming Malta’s sole distributor of Panini stickers in 1970.

What do you know now that you didn't know than?

“We do not know what the future looks like. What we do today, has to matter to people we will never meet?  The world is worth repairing even though we won’t finish the job?"

Time with my mates from late 70s the late 80s in decades that what l mean not age ways . There was brilliance sense of really belonging because we had to fight in the square ring. 20 rounds times 3 times a week often . Hurting each other blood, sweat, some tears, victories and accepting defeat.

Travelling but work called us mostly next day. Write ups about our exploits. Warmth of  glass of coke in local pub most Friday evenings before heading home. Because LIFE was tough hard and poverty was a factor, think whole experience past us. Now in these autumn days we are in place where value of important stuff like friendship good memories and certain type of spirituality is at least present for some of this group.

We are the people who have run the race. Still growing , developing, walking with health issues. Seeing with perspective of age.

Who do you gather with?

Who shares your journeyman knowledge?

What do you know now that you didn't know than? 

Who gonna hold your

hand when you call ?

not made for things like sharing

Men prefer to drink a great deal.
Perhaps they feel better after certain amount of alcohol.
We feel comfortable with old days of grand sport but struggle when it's 
Misuse agenda, or even family concerns they become uncomfortable too much of a challenge. Life is tough,  life is hard life can be a struggle.
But seldom can we face this we choose more than the female of the speicies.we chose to hold it inside.
Feel strong just not made for things like sharing on a deep level.

There nothing wrong with my mates.But they have lived a great deal in this area. They should want to improve sharing literacy around emotions. 

...'I feel ..

I want to say this too you all...

How can l explain better what's struggles currently facing...'

Its not taught informally.

Growth never resides in place classed as comfortable.

Read more, pray longer, digest slower.

The news is Always loud, so switch off due to moving. But look found don't miss the noise. Cut it out for a while getting more done. Mostly repeated on misinformed circle. While Life's dramas unfold genuinely as they should.

Not been missing any conversation starters. Aware of real stuff further focused differently. It's my clarity. These are all points to affirm you should probably, may perceive, a similar route for yourself. Also denying myself the behaviour issues that happen if get attached to the noise.

Switch off. Read more pray longer digest slower. It's working for myself.

Really asking ...

                     So how are you?

U2 been part of my life since about 1982.

 "It's a little NGO with a big kick for kids with all of the talent and none of the access," as Larry put it. "Our band are proud supporters." 

Adam, Edge, Bono and Larry were guests at the tournament final and Larry met the teams before tossing the coin at the start of the match.

                      U2 been part of my life since about 1982.

All the talents and none of the access...

WOW that is deep read it again, this amplifies my LOVE  for these guys, it was Einstein who said that synchronicity is God’s way of reminding us that nothing happens by accident.’ contemporaneousness it may be but do you find some kind of connection that happens. ITs a GODNESS l call it that sense you get whether your a faith person Or you are just a spiritual person with no religious ties. Many often get these feelings that something is joining the dots.

Bringing things together.

Moved often by these actions were minds and hearts which are soulful parts of us are brought together. Joined in U2 thing like l often do with music connected with lyrics' the emotions the BPM whatever, stayed with Dylan, stayed with Northern souls, stayed with Springsteen , stayed with Motown wider soul because heart was moved , My mind grew and l stayed.

That's why Love U2 its in my heart, moves my feet, stirs my heart. Again and again.

Poor preparation produces pitiful performance.

Been let down
Been rejected.

Suffering because of incompetence of another.Some ways in which I am suffering includes health palpitations in heart, lack of sleep, unable to plan, economic well being further damage.

Letting others down because they have agreed good will to assist myself. So now have to let them down. Change further alter plans now have Stress. Stress is a  word personally don't use without understanding weight it carries. 

Poor preparation produces pitiful performance.

Here's the rub these things happen occasionally we need to adjust to poor management delivery. Except it's common practice. It is how LEAs local government functions. Not uncommon it the way WOKE warriors delivery. They know the rights they have on place of society. They now how to get time off but delivery of a service to service users not part of the process 

Thru can travel the world on fake news but they can't lifts broom to do the job they are employed for.

They have different work times next week to this week. But they fail to deliver. Travel in car journey adjusting time duties, so Spotify playlist is updated but place a urgent phone call to get as example ...Cleaners to a home ..Urgent client base for medical help...update family member about care plan...these are not Achieved.

Poor preparation. Woeful approaches, bad production values, it is pitiful. The main product is failure of service provision.

East Riding County Council in East Yorkshire is prime delivery of poorly prepared pitiful, unprocessed service provision. 

Trust me it's an area I know about first hand.