still in the long now

saw incredible views as l walked along the cliff tops this morning
very wet underfoot but mild no wind either
last few days been murky and foggy
also caught up with the rain that's been needed
Garden nothing happening
awaking funny times as l struggle in the present now


theology making sense of the God view on my life, my status.
the place l am in
the breath l need to take
some days my health throws up this odd feelings and cant get  started
remaining at first base for most of the day
the next day l am fine . . .  loads of energy
so how do l plan my future?
hospital next week should open more certainty
as l gain more idea of the treatment needed

Luther and me

Martin Luther hammered his 95 Theses onto the front doors of All Saints’ Church in Wittenberg, Germany — an act that, unforeseen by Luther at the time, is now credited with beginning the Protestant Reformation. Luther’s 95 Theses outlined his abstentions to the practice of selling indulgences to guarantee Christians salvation, emphasizing that grace is given by God alone and can only be assured by the clergy, not bought from others speclisums like Priests

                                               One of my hero`s

Well maybe he did not put the stuff on the door
but along with cultural stuff, 

plus technical advances combined ,

Further development of economy, commerce, way people lived was changing  

Also further a big plus `printing press development`.

The Church began to change

Luther never alluded to the claim about nailing theses to the door 

(It now excepted,believed that an 'old wife tale')

It bore no witnesses.

No historical documents.

                              The greater deed was the challenge he brought to the Bishops table

 

Like then we need change in the established Church.almost slip back to this authority figure get you to heaven but of course following in the light has always been more then getting to heaven

you cant get to heaven on your Pastors knee, your Pastors knee to wobbly

if we are called to be
the light of the world
got to ask "why isn`t the light shining"

True questions around Halloween!

Samhain was a three-day Celtic New Year festival that began on 31 October and, according to some scholars, was a time when the "Lord of the dead" was honoured. The Celts, who lived in Britain about two thousand years ago, believed that during Samhain the veils between this world and the spirit world were at their thinnest and spirits of the dead could mingle with the living. Marked by bonfires, it also celebrated the abundance of food after the Harvest.

The alternative is a festival of light promoted by some churches!!!

Yet they fail to understand that many do not have basic faith ,knowledge,

I see no proof that many or any turn to the Devil or turn away from God.

It simply a cashcow for the supermarket 

We need to explore and understand why many! and the very many celebrate Halloween?

Also why do we not promote all saints day,

More questions then answers for Church folk on this one.

its friday

life going to get harder


steel workers face uncertain future
Politian's out of reach
out of touch


sports start play different game
rewarded more then most can ever imagine


preacher lost understanding of the way life presents


we rob others of their future
by making the past a constant reminder


when where these good old days
still waiting for then to arrive


health it can be so effecting
cripple you at the most difficult times


sometimes l feel like God is absent without leave
in the world we live
its one of my wrestling matches
constantly asking God how am l doing
where do you want me to be
what direction should l take

LIFE AT PRESENT

I sat today in the spare room
after the chores of tidying up the house
sat on the spare bed
watch the world going by
it was a different view l do not normally sit in the spare  room
watched the rooftops
prayed a little
spiritually feel disconnected
long time in the long now
unanswered prayer can be difficult to accept
plays with emotions
need to get away. ..breathe. . . swim
swimming exhilarating for myself
using the gym at my pace
walking
thinking
talking
connecting
wishing
hoping
prays  . . . .wrestling with stuff
understanding better issues
lack of knowledge about issues
all this tapestry called LIFE

Gaddamit gotta ask

Returning to the story asking the question
faith not religion ,Christianity following Jesus
"if we called to be the light of the world,
gotta ask why isn't the light shining"


when the worlds are dark as this with violence, unjust acts, hypocrisy, lack of mercy, XFactor  wanna be are role models!
"if we called to be the light of the world,
gotta ask why isn't the light shining"

In the good old days

Well they tell us these (back in the day) were the good old days. 

Except they felt tough, hard, uncomfortable, and challengeing periods.

Just like now or worse?

Oh don't Belive these will become the good old days

Perhaps for the politics and that class 

Yet again the poor, vulnerable, seek solutions

While struggling with the ration given them.

We all have faith

Mine is in religion

Following Jesus trying to interpret his will for my life.

But we all have faith

Faith in each other.

Faith in the community around us.

Faith technology that helps us operate how we live.

Faith in others.

We all have faith

if we are called to be the light of the world. got to ask?

The cost sometimes a vocation grips a person, there is a cost
We are called to be the light of the world
so that means we have to ask how come the light isn`t shining?
shining on the dark places!
like those who in a mean sense impose sanctions on the poor and vulnerable
Got to ask why the light isn`t shining?
its part of our DNA to ask these questions,
in tough world we need to keep asking
Why isn`t the light shining?

FACT

So a visitor to my house noticed my vinyl decks
YOU CANT GET EXCITED ABOUT DOWNLOAD

my friend . . . . Missing in action

Last time we met was nearly a decade ago in June of 2006
last time you did social media was December 2013
when of course you critiqued me
last time l heard your voice was when we spoke November 26th 2006
at 15.36 for 41 minutes


when the next time going to be
sometimes just miss you and me having a cup of tea

How you doing . . . I am asking

In one of my favorite programmes

Bigger then life tony sopranoes always trying to find out where he is going and how he is doing

I feel out of sought at present this illness leads to a kind of isolation

So l have to work out 

What can l ....l  .  .simply me . . do about this illness affects?

Yesterday it blindside me for four hours 

Took ill then slowly got more better.

Little more energy today it's better . . . more energy

So how you doing for me depends on heart and tablets

I need a purpose 

Need to be doing something

But not having a clear defined role leaves me feeling vulnerable

Thoughts turn inward and l don't like that either

So ask how am l doing what more should l be doing?

How can this vulnerability improve how l relate and understand other`s better

What is God saying, teaching, inviting, me to learn from this moment?

need more love and mercy to those on benifits

 Rate of unemployment among young people aged 16-24 has risen by 30,000 to a staggering 764,000.

Unemployed young people are at risk of becoming socially isolated

sanctions against the vulnerable show a merciless streak in all of the modern politicians

while crying for the refugees we do little for the homegrown poor and vulnerable which l find ghastly

the bible says

we were made the keepers of the vineyard but our own vineyard we did not keep

that suggest to myself that God is calling us to be concerned for those around us

yet its not a hobby horse many ride but they will ring their hands at many so far away (often who have chosen to follow

another leader who promoted his brand of religion while having 23 wives and sex with a 9 year old girl) they choose to ignore the cries of their own neighbor's

l struggle with those kind of people who send parcels of clothing and write and visit Callies but will not break bread with inner city neighbor's who are hurting

My body is not a graffiti board for senseless tatoos 

Hull fair recent visit.

Technically it must be quite an achievement to get all the space between the rides correct.

Often marvel at the site of bright lights sounds, smells.

Got burger for a quid.

Walked around but never met anyone l knew.

Time often stays still at the fairground, despite the novelty of appearing to be in the present.

Same time every year,

Same excitement,

Same cold chilly weather.

Come on you ULL

Another great win for the hull city team chasing promotion from the championship 

Quite a few goals in last nites 3-0 win over Ipswich

Always feel good when victory is part of the sporting scene

Also good to see Jake Livermore smiling as he carry On playing for Hull city

Well being of the city of culture that Hull will be soon is so important

Family's enjoy the pleasure of witnessing the winning ways returning to the football team

However not to forget that it is only a game of football

We live in a mixed up world with society's values turned upside down 

Faith agape philliemoen care and community not valued

But stardom and being a success on X FACTOR is what we are told people strive towards

Watched the latest session with Matthew my son last Sunday 

Emotions are deliberately put on display in a quest for five minutes of idolation

is it worth the humalition. . .hardly think so

How U doing

Today marked the first national conference for social wellbeing, where experts in the field gave insight as to factors affecting a person's wellbeing, as well as raised questions regarding how this concept can be calculated.

So how do you measure well being 

Often it's linked to economics 

Well what isn't ?

Where you live 

The community you are from 

Me l think it's got most to do with faith and love

Faithless and without love

That's a thinline between hell and perhaps where some are currently

Feeling ok . . .

Fear can control a person

my cooking favored by no 1 son
Curried snapper fish

Smack heads and staffies walking the streets of Scarborough Hull Easington

Think it about fear

I know drugs also issue, often not repeat staffies owners not nice people

Fear is in the face 

There a swagger the staffies owners adopt

Quite a high percentage among unemployed living in 

Rural and council estate

Why?

Fear!

Had great weekend lot of walking and cups of tea about to head home across 

the moors on a autumn evening

Wonderful God created colors on display

The season call time as this year drifts away

Need to balance my relationship oddly l need some time alone to pray reflect and be alone with me

That May seam odd but had lot of person centred days last week

Could've just be the me that l have become

Also balance of no sound just quiet

Big week next with hospital a focus

Life it like this at present

The year is going by at pace 

Another odd period  in my moments that we share 

But l always thought l'd see you again

HICYH

Bono the struggle he shares in `Rasied by Wolves`

there is a bible passage about God calling the wildlife into his realm
it talks \bout foxes eagles and other creatures of the night being sought by the Lord
like the U2 track it talks about spiritul meanings not being recognised by the people of faith
last evening it was on TGF that U2 sang a track with similier message
In a niteclud arena amosphere
Lyrics words are very challanging
but like great lyric got to put some thought into the interpretation

Bono sings I dont belive anymore
i dont belive anymore

but its a struggle he is sharing as he in the words of the songchallanged by the society around him.
anyway more of my view after another listen


we must belive, we must carry on the struggle,
we must strive.
but while also wrestling with this thing called Faith

who raised by wolves erh... not me

saw U2 on TGF LAST EVENING

MEGA IMPRESSED son was watching great new song which already hold via last album BUT only got a download

love the line about tattoos

no need to graphty the body

Face down on a broken street
There's a man in the corner
In a pool of misery
I'm in white van
As a red sea covers the ground

Metal crash
I can't tell what it is
But I take a look
And now I'm sorry I did
5:30 on a Friday night
Thirty three good people cut down

I don't believe anymore
I don't believe anymore

Face down on a pillow of shame
There are some girls with a needle
Tryin' to spell my name
My body's not a canvas
My body's now a toilet wall

I don't believe anymore
I don't believe anymore

Raised by wolves
Stronger than fear
Raised by wolves
We were raised by wolves
Raised by wolves
Stronger than fear
If I open my eyes
You disappear

Running wild
Running wild

Boy sees his father
Crushed under the weight
Of a cross in a passion
Where the passion is hate
Blue mink Ford
I'm gonna detonate in your den

U2 - Raised By Wolves Lyrics

In our luxury we are unscriptural ungrateful need seek balance

Often l am ungrateful l do not know about yourself 

Forget the goodness of place

All around

Adjust even to beauty l listen to the tide far away from cliff face at 4 inthe morning

Was up bit breathless find best to get out if it chilly fill my lung with chilly nite air

Breathe

In this place

The stairs moon lite across water

Call of wildlife

Nearness of God in the stillness of cold autumnal evening

Thesaurus had not began sleepiness filled others

I was the fortunate person alone with Lord praying 

Breathing

Balance

In the world luxury of the Church who Belive the hot topic is gender worship leader turned lesbian 

You see that's imbalance the real worry is where Gods justice ?

Why is allowing poverty to increase?

Children abused

Women trafficked across this land

But the issue in the Church is place of women and GLTB 

Breathe pray 

God gives us freedom from luxury and help us strive to see the real issues