NHS JUST NOT WORKING LOCAL

Surprisingly the NHS didn't let me down.

Expected no help, no compassion, expectedly witnessed poor treatment  Blunt response. 

It was passing buck back to another department that was biggest surprise.

Referred back to speclist whose October report own Doctor cannot trace.

Being blisteringly honest,cannot provoke even in myself any other emotions accept apathy.

Like to be wiser,like to come out with something soothing further positive, perhaps numbness become normal. Saw people hurting being turned away.

Got first-hand experience from own son, the damage when it goes wrong.

NHS JUST NOT WORKING LOCAL.

NHS Monopoly awaits tomorrow.

Some expressions don't hold weight when communicated...

"At least we've got closure.."

Often it isn't taking place,old wounds resurface, new hurts get buried.

The process for some still remains incomplete, tears and deep emotions

Are taken forward.

Another statement is..

" I get that''.

Because more often followed by words explained the other did not ,grasp what was offered.

But the 'cavite' is that if person using these expression, they are communicating. Proberbly at level deeper than basic 2nd level. 

Tomorrow I will become involved in the monopoly of trying get my Cardiac surgery begun. Again the powerlessness.

Grateful for lot in my LIFE. Sad something's like 'Forever', Had time limit.

Quiet sanguine about hope,but not too optimistic either. So NHS monopoly awaits.

Heart failure, my curve ball period at present.

So heart failure...

Full of water on the Heart .

Hooping dry painful coughing.

Pain, muted by pain relief.

Fatigue and worn out.

Unpleasant... my curve ball is Hospital last few days,come home back 9-00 Tuesday morning.

Specialist make big decisions...

Maybe like 12 years ago, l will recover.

I've seen fire and I've seen Rain...always hoped see you again...

Be on your watch. Always try to observe , attempt to listen for ways in which we should communicate.

Often, trying to empower you on this blog with the importance of chatting, gathering, discussing, argue with each other, accept differences.
Enjoy ,explore, encourage more gatherings, and especially with your Faith community, be together often with other followers of Jesus.

I  ALWAYS WANT TO COMMUNICATE BETTER.

YOUR CONDITION ,HOW YOU COME TO BE YOU IS ALL YOU HAVE.

Don`t be afraid to tell people who you are,
nor afraid to tell them where you came from.
YOUR CONDITION ,HOW YOU COME TO BE YOU IS  ALL YOU HAVE.

My hands and face, my communication.
Even the clothes l wear plus , how l move are all part of myself.
the places we have lived.
positions we held.
Hurt others have done to us.

Add , awkward questions,failed prayers, unanswered promises all affect our theology.
sense of nature, thankfulness, pouring out with no Words to express, are part of that same theology.

Are you afraid of making mistakes?

Are you unsure of the `value of you` to others.

That`s LIFE. It takes courage to LIVE so enjoy.

This here this is me... l jest...well a little.

 “One, followed by another one, of many unhealthy choice l make grows into a feeling of disappointment, that causes me to make more bad choices, more bad choices. PLUS it's very hard to keep up some kind of healthy lifestyle because of the ejeets around me.”

Anger, losing my temper, being grumpy, appearing awkward, doing nothing except becoming a plump DJ, is my comfort blanket. Anyway enough messing around not comfortable at present, just getting used to a change in my health condition.

So `thank you` but why not keep in touch. life its allowed to become bit uncomfortable, for myself due to my heart rhymes at present."

Anger, losing my temper, being grumpy, appearing awkward, This here this is me... l jest...well a little.

part of recovery moment.

Lot of laughter around today.
Lot of bunting on display,
Too much cake. 

Nice make up, clothes and accessories. People making effort to be together.

Beautiful humans created 

in God's image.

I feel ill, then my heart slows..l get grumpy and sleep...I`m sorry...

Those were happy days in so many, many ways
In the town I have loved so well...
While the man on the dole played the mother's role
Fed the children and then trained the dogs
And when times got rough there was just about enough
But they saw it through without complaining
For deep inside was a burning pride
I remember the day that I earned my first pay
There I spent my youth and to tell you the truth
I was sad to leave it all behind me
For I'd learned 'bout life 
In the town I loved so well . . .

I returned, how my eyes have burned . . . .To see how a town could be brought to its knees.

I feel ill, then my heart slows..l get grumpy and sleep...I`m sorry..

Is what's lost, Gotta ask is it lost Forever?

 

What's done is done.

What's lost is lost.

         What's gone

is gone forever.

My health kicked in today, took me away from all plans, cognitive functioning, small talk, no journeys achieved Nothing.
That's what Cardiac health,feel poorly,know you are low ,l can tell my ,'heart' becomes slower.
Pain only slight, medication not helping some days, becoming bit more frequent.
Nothing...that's my achievements
in a poor health period.

My Holding Forever experiences

Finding some are in a struggle.

We are failing at basics.

I would suggest lack of thankfulness.

Don't show each other Grace, forgiveness. Lack patience with each other.

Should we read more?

Definitely spending too much time heads down on Modile provision.

Not listening to Vinyl enough nor each other.

My Faith heritage identified purpose and nature around the value of being with Others. (Plus lot more)!

My Faith heritage introduced me to variety of gatherings.

Period serving in apprenticeship gave me quality time, learning trade from older, wiser people.

My 'Innercitie' ,upbringing shaped the road that took me onwards in the Journey.

These values l will. Hold as Kevin ends this Sojourner.

Community's that value individual growth, empowering member's is radical.

 Anti-social behaviour is a nuisance in its mildest pattern ,nothing short of a criminal act at its worst. Very destructive hurtful and oppressive. That is to say Cruel harsh and damaging.

hate the misuse of the word, But Respect is missing. self esteem, concern for others good stewardship.

It affects society, community's, also has impact upon individual who experiences.

Not going to engage very much with the provider of Anti Social behaviour, found that they get enough attention ,support, and Love.

Train stations have begun to pipe in classical music as a way help combat antisocial behaviour, Beverley and Cottingham in my locality are among those that will play Beethoven and Mozart

We need to return to teaching informally perhaps, how individual development ,can fold into gracious community advancement , examining how l behave effects how group develops, understands, and encounters each others values, life styles and Varity. 

Some things are just so NICE

.

Community's that value individual growth and empowers member's with concern for others is radical.

Wider society is improved with first two steps.

Even as a senior youth community worker, cannot justify some youngsters behaviour.

I witnessed younger element addressing older person with rudeness not often observed. Told that person at sporting venue to go elsewhere they using that space to smoke.
Sat on bench nearby, watched as older person collected his equipment walked away.
the three youngsters 2 female,1 male started smoking. YES, `dope fiends` with mobiles..

Later l was at bus stop, (Use my car, but rest of time walk or bus).
When the queue was joined by 3 girls, Primax finest on display,1 of them chatting with 2 girls on mobile.
Bus arrives they boarded first, never looked around them, made no effort to explore whether or not older folk, lady with a pram and child, not even older lady with walker, should be allowed on before them.

Another time recently young mum came into our centre, wanted the council to remove some property, she claimed had been fly tipped onto a closed community garden.

It was not but she had dumped her own no longer required, still pretty decent Sofa and large TV screen.

Such actions cost the LEA Home maintenance budget £70 - £700 per year.

                                       Sometimes ponder is it me just getting older.?

Moral decline it do cost, ethical conduct it do cost, 

Value platform that is based on lies ,deceit, behaviour that does not take on board `Love for neighbour`, will not take on board, respect for others.

These in essence are small things. but they are a containment, constant method of behaving like you are more important than others, also effects economic well being of wider society, community cohesion, affects Individual.

MAYBE it is time for angry people to lift up their voices in protest. Is it time for those who are micro aggressive, to stand up and be counted.

MAYBE we just we need to return to Individual development, reteach community cohesion values, Engage again with how Society is modelled. As subjects that need rebooting.

Jesus came , among other reasons, to empower us to deconstruct social roles, question community norms so that justice and equity might finally prevail. Equity being equality observed and respected. Each Individual has a role to act out.

Cultural values get missplaced

The secondary discourse is

Not your primary 

Hence get side tracked with things you don't need to deal with, addressing others roles, then wrong values brought in to the mix.

Witnessed this day some `EGO  massaged` ,role playing person highlighted own importance, above role and task required.

This building, Like a Church needs love.

 

 This building, like Churches needs love. So showing Love to this building, which has a need to be modified.
To love building requires laws, agreements, debate, discussion, focus on plans, previous way in which the building purpose was understood.
 How it was used for..and much more.

When we deconstruct we should ,(if that your own description) take time and plan with concern for Future. Always think of your heritage what has value, also the other issues in your growth, development, how you change is a sojourner.

The Church and folk who keep the faith are entitled to be treated with kindness and Love.

Visiting heritage.

Children, son, family, friends,

Take away food.

Simple  pleasures, enjoyment laughter.

We dodged the showers while visiting culture, enjoying customs, visiting heritage.

Samperled LIFE.

Some stuff is for next week. Those issues still be here next week.

 I too am lost

I feel double crossed

I don't know what's right

Or what's wrong.

Museums day, Bus day, hospital day.

Dealing with old folks experiencing

Anti Social behaviour

LIFE in a moment, that's gone. Roman Villa period. Simply switched off.

Letting stuff disappear, all that other stuff is for next week. Those issues still be here next week.

Those concerns still be here next week.

My response will still be here next week.

Today simply switched off. 

Worth trying. God Bless 

after deconstructing, . . .community reboot.

So after deconstructing, restructuring, relationships improved all community reboot.

Perhaps start to establish sense of mission.

Here where Nomad deconstructing fails. Because only attracting 'like minded'. Group are all white, struggling with own cognitive dysfunction. Failed individuals, attacked community where all developed understanding around faith .Wider society is place of Chao's , the backward wearing baseball cap are fearful.

Not able to understand how individual develops, effects Church/ Community/ agencies. If remain in that place no longer impact wider society. My personal biggest concern is they now reside in a place called 'comfortable'. Self generated safely distanced detached further away from fearful outside.

They take great comfort in each others awkwardness. Little in common with those more extraversion. Meet together mostly at a distance. Aware use modern technology. to remain apart. Not a place of growth. If you do examine deeper certain cultist behaviour is evident.

Gatherings they no longer attend, but l urge us all to reboot. Become less self aware value older elderly people in relationships seek more variety. 

Food banks, Charity ventures, connect with those excluded.

Embrace new methods, value inheritance. Be different, become better.

Repeat the message of following Jesus. 

Church as community can deconstruct, and reconstruct without toxicity.

What is guiding me? Affecting some of my deepest intentions.

Perhaps, (Actually confident), we fail to discuss at length, or chat informally, about GOD stuff, much preferring to talk about sport,music, last nights TV.

Deeper stuff l have found is good to disagree about, Church is place where we should disagree. Not talking about hostile debates but how often do we say..

I did not like that Hymn..

The sermon went on too long...

It was slow and boring today..

This evening was so encourging...

Enjoyed the children's input...

Glad the youth led, gives me hope..

Seagulls used to sit on cliff face with nestlings going out to sea for catch of Fish etc... 

Though still popularly regarded as seagulls, many have moved inland, far from the seaside or saltwater. They have adapted to life in many places we have made, and they have thrived.

FAIRGROUNDS

NATURE

HUMANITY

THINGS WE BELIEVE

STUFF

MUSIC MEDIA 

All change, its form of reconstruction from what we feel it was, often its slow ,unnoticed. But change happens.

Faith is like that too.

Sometimes, when looking at `life of the Deconstruction Christian`, movement, it appear there are two factors.

Relationships are damaged and LIFE appears to be challenging.

Then a Faith or Church relationship falters.

The rules, Boundaries alter. 

So must we, allow change. Allow new experiences. Allow others to not understand. That`s deconstruction.

But there is a privilege that states `the Church nor Church folk`can fit into an environment where mistakes happen.

When it does it becomes a `get out of Church and following Jesus ` card. Like some kind of game.

the faith heritage becomes no longer valuable and new fit is required.

New spirituality, modern one.

If faith is a steadfast part of your upbringing, here for me is the rub.

Why does deconstructing mean throwing everything out, then toxicity follows.

Always been radical ways to share Faith during dark times. Following Jesus, Church can become regenerative space of creation, questioning, growth ,development even some renewal.

working on relationship often hard to measure.

 All the rides are over and done

It's late and no prizes are left to be won

The rides are closed, it's the end of the day

The horses are moving away

Yes the fair's moving on

The music has ended, the carousel's still

The horses in boxes with the big Ferris wheel

The canvass and glitter are safely on board

The trailers will soon hit the road

The fairs moving on, Reconstruction take place
Elsewhere. Although old rides are old
New ways of people paying.Parents may have ridden similar
rides. New ways, new world reconstruction.

It's normal for some kind of 'Deconstruction`, in many aspects of Life.

A key to Churches,other agencies voluntary sector maintenance is relationships.

Life is often more simple than we make it,encounters with each other are vital to how we grow, develop. But always we change.

Not same person internally as we was five (5) years ago. Comfortable is not where we develop. Friendships change.

So do Churches, slowly. As should our understanding. Faith grows. Even things that firmly believe may believe stronger. Or not accept same old way.

That too is change. Some values feel less important. But working on relationship often hard to measure.

Deconstructing . . .,.its a subject along with community outreach that l speak to church's about considerably.

 “Deconstruction” is a term that has increasingly been used in evangelical circles, especially over the past decade. But it is a confusing term, because there’s no single or simple definition for “deconstruction.” It has different meanings in different contexts.

Christian deconstruction challenges the truth of God, the Bible, and the moral value system that God institutes through the scriptures that has resulted in thousands leaving their Christian faith.

going to be exploring this subject as we progress through next week .its a subject along with community outreach that l speak to church's about considerably.

Relationship's, Programmes, reviewing and rejection. . .Rebooting.
Sorry If l was more brighter would come up with 4 `R`s.

Really feel we allow world to create in us chaos ,further hassle, simply because we don't firstly accept that we change as we grow older.

Plus we should always be communicating, arguing, chatting ,perhaps agreeing, allowing disagreement. writing, sharing about Theology...How we make sense of God.

Instead we put up walls and breakdown.

churches at times can be dark places.

Churches indeed can be difficult places, not talking or hinting at the building.
Its not my experience, but Church folk gang can be difficult, because lets start with this ..got people like myself.
I can be awkward
when younger really a mischief.
Expelled from school
booted out with no Qualifications,
rebellious which can be an instrument of reward, but can be a nuisance.

Worked in and among Churches all of my life, that's around 50 years. Mostly met  people who are on a journey with Faith, more especially following the Faith of Jesus calling them selves Christian or lately Followers of Jesus.

Well meaning folk, kind folk, generous folk, sometimes misguided. (Occasionally very occasionally bit mean).

When community of followers of Jesus began to recognise that they were losing power, A good thing, we witnessed a new movement springing from the established Government favoured COE ,Church of England.

Emergence, from that sprang a counter more rejection, movement which sided with many aspects of Cancel and WOKE cultures.

Movement calling itself Deconstruction.

But they wanted to reframe old understanding of following Jesus, `no longer using term Christian` by highlighting what new deconstructionist's saw as radical nature ,but already evident in example,plus teaching of`house church`  movement of Jesus.

 What from PODCASTS and discussion. l began to see was a desire to blame the Church , often for damaged relationships formed in younger life,

In their Churches , been a place where all sorts of analytical psychotic problems, the `emerging Jesus 2000` babies had experienced in life, was direct result of Church folk relationships.

So they formed own vile toxic group. Throwing out all Biblical and ,scriptural teaching.

boasting about not reading the Bible. Not attending Church.

Directing own funding to choices only they made, regrouping. Part of the reimaging also got hooked into new spiritual type teachings.

Strong alignment to Vegan ,new earth, contradiction, allowed whole choosing own sexuality.

...l see, saw, no hope of any bright new tomorrow, nor different ,better way of being. Yet oddly still preaching words of Jesus.

Blindness to all sorts of Biblical narrative they suggest the Scripture not written for now, nor recent periods.

“Thus, deconstruction wants no master beyond itself, creating a colossal arrangement of near-impenetrable hyperindividualism."

We aren't perfect in the Church but we are still called to be the best example of a group of people following Jesus, the risen Lord.

EVEN EMERGENCE PEOPLE GONE A BIT LOOPY.

 

GREENBELT 23 ...wants to go meat-free or even vegan this year, to mark our 50th.

GB23 , all our caterers will only be offering food and drink that the gospel accounts indicate Jesus ate – having held a three-month theological consultation, able to declare that that’s basically bread, wine, fish, figs ,olives.

GB23 are very excited about the difference that ‘Choose Loaf’ initiative will make to our environmental impact and also to how truly committed we are to an authentically biblical outworking of our faith.

How do these nutters work this stuff out, what kind of  LIFE do they imagine others live.The Israelite's usually ate meat from domesticated goats and sheep. Goat's meat, (Mutton, Love it), was the most common. Fat-tailed sheep were the predominant variety of sheep in ancient Israel,

So is what they claim, that Jesus never ate Lamb?

Back to life, one that bothers myself and many others.

 “Nobody should live in fear in their own homes. Hard working families are being threatened, harassed and their property vandalised or stolen."

Story and concerns like this are daily occarance in most city center , towns, rural communities bit less, also in coastal towns.

it is certainly more evident impoverished areas.

whats missing?

whats the home education values, who presents them. What being taught in schools.

Have these value platforms emerged in a period of religious deconstruction, 

what paradigm fits the issues.?

how and in what ways can we improve.?

(well there is too little opportunity in Hull as an example.)

That leads to boredom.

The guidance is not happening among informal settings like Church or Secular youth work. At least Its not evident.

Voluntarily sector and sports centres are not visible, certainly not open when Youths are around.

Family structure not embraced values of Respect, service, concern for elders.

Stewardship of property, and love for parks and recreation.

We are in a crisis , one we must face head on.

HERE ARE FEW RESPONSES.

Watching people complain and do nothing, when they are in superior numbers, is getting to be about as tiring as reading the stories of these feral running riot every single day.

 I've done deliveries around Hull area before today  seen feral come out of houses, don their balaclavas. They live among you. I know what they are, their neighbours surely do. Time for residents to stop making excuses and start knocking their lights out.

This problem is not unique to Hull.it's replicated around the nation.

Whilst nothing is done to address the problems, they will only increase. Maybe it's too late to put the plug back in.

Now we have more idiots than ever trying our house and car doors every night, stealing anything that isn't bolted down.

Wouldn't count on humberside police there totally useless now a days according to some sources humberside police are the worst police force in UK it will never change bring bk old fashioned boot camps teach the kids a lesson

Maybe if the police got out of the cars and actually did foot patrols around the estate and actually spoke with residents maybe that could help. In 20 years of living on north Hull only once has a PO been to my door .

NO SOLUTIONS OFFERED.

Took my illness for Bus ride

Feeling very ill

There is a Doctor's strike, like many

Industrial actions lately.

So took my pain out of town.

Till the pain slowly receded.

Till l was feeling better.

Till time passed got bit healthier, Till next lot of pain relief arrived.

The long journey helped, stress levels lowered, medication began its healing.

Went to familiar, went to what l knew.

Went to yesterday's memory. Thought it'd help. But l used to run in that place.

Walked all day in those days. It was me,

who was different in this period.

That old familiar forgotten place had left me behind.

Okay may never return to visit again, but we have parted.

Health is one aspect of troubles that comes to stay l feel.

There's better days ahead for You. P.S. thought you'd be in touch.

There's better days to come

There's end to drizzle, rain further storm's.

Today's just a bad day, not whole story of your life,each journey has these periods.

There are better days to arrive for you and all your Loved.

There's better moments than one currently experiencing.

There's better days to come.

Soon, better is on its way.

Kingdom way, different way, less apathetic way ahead. Soon no more hurting.

You will.turn your music up Louder and dance.

Till then believe in U, Me l already do!