its Monday ,am slower when my illness creates lack of sleep

Because of this illness, it something processed as like have a visible ticking clock, Somehow to me,there's a sense of urgency , try harder perhaps bit better get it right. 

Think rediscovered ,You don't have as many opportunities as you imagine.

The flowers and my love,

Passed away under the rain,

Where is my yester-love?

You hear a word perhaps oddly in a song, then years later it comes back into focus. Like . .   yester ..then years later it turns up in a poem.

a short poem ,but like the song meaningful and emotive.

I had a dream, so did you

Life was warm and love was true

Two kids who followed all the rules

Yester fools

And now now it seems those yester dreams

Were just a cruel and foolish game we used to play

Yester-me yester-you yesterday.

Stevie Wonder. ( bit of Tamla ..)

Church without `empowerment plus participation`,

Been asking myself what does it look like to join a church or community in a transitional period in your faith?
Do you have to be member of Church to be a Christian?

Professional l have attended but not been in membership of big C,Church.

( That`s means worked for or alongside in funded capacity.)

URC..ANGLICAN..METHODISTS..CATHOLIC..house ..evangelical.. 

of course there is the more practical `small or the little c church`.

 The big C is the community of believers throughout the world and across time. This is sometimes called the “invisible” church.

Church for me is when we gather and do things that are outworking of our actions.Faith in action. it is also about drama of talking to each other , to others, serving by yourself another who is in need or listening to another share a concern.

Sometimes we need to recall, it is when others of our faith have responded to our needs.

it is also when others have helped you and I .

Further when you receive support.

Plus when formally gather doing community around meal.Sharing study.

Involved in planning mission.

It about what we try to translate and communicate about our journey.The difference and better way of doing journey through Drama of life.

But not about on your own, we have to gather together even if occasionally.

There are some other concepts but not processing everything at this moment.

Church can not be about a person leading many by own words and examples.

Church without `empowerment plus participation`, from each member is not Church.

This is a plane promoting Hull City.

The person who has bought our team is trying hard to create within the constraints of a football gathering...A sense of community..

sense of belonging..

sense of journey together.

Sharing a mission

Holding a Vision...

​God grant me the serenity to change my underpants,

the courage to know when l can wear them another day,

and the wisdom to know the difference...

HONESTLY REMEMBER THAT VERSION.

This was the moment Johnson lost red wall borrowed votes..Fights war across Europe while losing War at home.

 You are far across the ocean but the war is not your own,

And while you're winning theirs, you're gonna lose the one at home;

Do you really think the only way to bring about the peace
Is to sacrifice your children ....

The politicians all make speeches while the news men all take note,
And they exaggerate the issues as they shove them down our throats;
Is it really up to them whether this country sinks or floats?
Well I wonder who would lead us if none of us would vote.

Larry Norman..1974?

Olga 

The situation in Kherson region, the only part of Ukraine Russia has managed to occupy and hold since February 24, is very dire. People, loyal to Ukraine, are kidnapped, tortured in secret prisons. Food and medicines are lacking. Escape routes are almost closed

Situation in Ukraine is one of many that is important .BUT have to wrestle with the drama of ..Is it most vital issue of our time, and the huge finical costs is being borne by people who are struggling to get by on poverty level incomes.

yet the elite political keep addressing us, with what they are sending in Billions of £$

But poorest are in a struggle to eat , to live in the Drama of the moment.

Worse part of recent interviews,for myself, was when questioned like some who call themselves Tories..they had no clue about living standerd and incomes of those requiring support and on benefit.

Keep Wrestling with how Pray, What to think,say,about such issue`s.

Kherson region is located just north of Crimea, which was annexed by Russia in 2014. Kherson was the first major Ukrainian city to fall to Russian forces after Putin ordered the invasion on 24 February this year.

In April, Russia said it had gained full control of the Kherson region, which is strategically important as it provides part of the land link between the Crimea peninsula and Russian-backed separatist areas in the east of Ukraine.

Nomad podcast  ..That l dip into , listened to great conversation, monologue and was inspired.

Richard Beck ..hope in a World on fire
Inspired even to just admit that l am still wrestling.
that's faith its developing but not at fast pace moving pace..

just developing growing even by standing still faith is still evident.
especially when you are a bit ill plus disconnected and isolated.
not mentally but Rural it be that way.

“One thing I’d like to say about taking sides is it’s inevitable. Life is a moral drama and we are constantly discerning the light in the darkness. And that’s for the religious and the irreligious. Everybody steps into the day – looks at the news, looks at world events, looks at their own choices in life – and is asking themselves, ‘What’s the right thing to do here?’

ME BEING ME...found a song with some lyrics help express a bit about life and the situation.

Take a look at all the suffering we breed

So many lonely faces scattered all around

Searching for what they need.

Is this the world we created

What did we do it for

Is this the world we invaded

Against the law

So it seems in the end

Is this what we're all living for today

The world that we created.

 . . . . .

If there's a God in the sky looking down

What can he think of what we've done

To the world that He created.

                                                 Queen .. Is this the world...

 

Here is a protest and no glue, no hands on roads, no one stopped `visiting sick budgie` , no sniffing glue..no purple hair ,and defiantly no freckin Vegan food

 

Stop Arming

Israel

UK Government #StopArmingIsrael

The British government must stop funding Israeli war crimes by cancelling its arms export licenses to Israel.

I scream.      You scream.   lets all scream

YOUR BLOOD BROTHERS, try some Love.

Like you despite my present age,

           l am from a city on Yorkshire coast, believe in the Lord Jesus. Came to commit Christian faith around mid teens. 

          Developed in large working class community, lived in council estate culture.

         Twin pillars of `Church` alongside `Boxing ` settings were gatherings that influenced the person l am still becoming.

           Like you despite my present age,

      still a work in progress.

Day ending

 

As drove home with evening feeling cold, slight smell of sea and where rivers meet, it gives funny sense to late end of day ,as night approaches.

We, (me and son)had nice simple day, whose lives are only like many not counted.

Talked about bit of everything, including New young moon leaning over the Humber.

the very few stars that we could register looked quite small.

Even like us, Stars at night,had a sense of littleness.

A Slender tree stand alone in the fields, We spoke about greenish and mighty coulers evident in this `not yet summer` season.
Between the roofs of the far off town
the woods, we walked in when he was well, are far away like a low hill.

another of our pleasant customs `Birds song` echo quietly.

saw two Buzzards,one odd fox sat at kerbside.

The Seagulls are faintly overheard.

When is Love coming to town

When loves comes to town,l wanna get on board that train. 

When loves comes to town l gonna be waiting. 

When. .well hope it pretty soon, getting awful hard waiting for the love.

It's the waiting, that's tough..

But l hear echo of something coming soon..

The bullying from administrators.

 

We went to the coast, traveled along country roads, exploring the nature wildlife,

deep in conversations.

Drive was easy. Sunny day that became wet. chilly, and damp.

Pushed my son in his wheelchair, he is not getting (along with many) the NHS support or service he should.

After referral from Ambulatory service my own Doctor will see me at end of this month,

 9 week wait for acute pain in my heart region.

My heart registered `interrupting itself `for slightly longer periods.

Still menisci period but it creates lethargy. Then further complications.

All over the area where l live, am having conversations with `economical poor `who experience admin bullying, along with poor practice, from health providers.

Threats and letters are sent to those who challenged and question the lack of support, further need for concern are ignored. Some due to emotional literacy and education cower from these attacks and mute themselves.

Bit like overall this Society has muted, insignificant response ,to ineffectiveness from Authority.
Stand up and take back your lives, lack of hope .Because some of been oppressed whole of life.
To be offered not enough support, resource, friendship, a way out..is the experience of poorest most vulnerable.

Friday night and the day ends, we watch a film.

Our getting to Friday treat is often a film night,
but  Kevin W, habit is `fall asleep`!
this week in `not so interesting Department` 
only had meat two days out of 7.
 . .but been quite ill.
 

spiritual one-upmanship.

Jordan  Peterson “introduces people [to] many many other things they just don’t really get elsewhere,He is influential,reaches a large general public audience of millions. How many other intellectuals do?”

ADMINISTRATORS have the ability to change or assign health services, rent, council tax, planning,education appointments, as well as block/unblock various client activities. Sadly these rights generally not used to support the services user's.They have the ability to promote and revoke comments on social media. When concerned about service delivery, they somehow Moderate, your response and behavior.Worse now govern recruitment, payments,wage structure. 

It is not over. the `crisis of crisis` we stumble from and into.

UK Border Control ,enabling immigration to arrive illegally creating huge issues as they flee free France..  
Children education not been as it once was regarding attendance nor achievement.

There been no boom. In northern area housing,employment,economy. Nothing.

Become all about `getting through just this moment`, all plans on hold nothing even registered.

Can`t recall any recent discussion about future near future or distant future.

No one is holding visions.

It is not over. 

            ​Peace is something to which we all aspire, but what does it mean?

l hard a song on songs of Praise sang by Kathleen Jenkins (A Gaelic blessing) about peace of Christ.

Deep peace of the running wave to you

Deep peace of the flowing air to you

Deep peace of the quiet earth to you

Deep peace of the shining stars to you

Deep peace of the gentle night to you

Moon and stars pour

Their healing light on you

Deep peace of Christ

Of Christ

The light of the world to you

Deep peace of Christ to you

Who counts the missing?  Reporters, Who been doing great job of information from war zones.

Failed to discover relevant trail.    

Not yet discovered database.Who is tasked to count `Disappeared` in War in Ukraine, Syria, Afghanistan.  
Those stories, Yesterday’s news. No longer it feels, newsworthy.  

But we could have stories, painful,heartbreaking,  cliffhangers.  But we are fast moving Society.

'crisis to crisis' is making us muted and apathetic.

This remains, these words are true, emotive lyric can help,

 l offer these words to us all.

When all foundations have been shaken
When I'm left standing in the dark
And all I feel is my heart breaking
You still reign and You're still God

And when it feels all hope has faded
The heavy questions hit so hard
And though my soul may feel forsaken
You still reign and You're still God..

You're Still God

Song by Philippa Hanna

ignorance around concerns of poor ,vulnerable, further Children in poverty. HONESTLY it shocked me.

Yesterday got bit shopping for Matty, he wanted a take away sandwich.. loaded it with salad

and odd gherkin.

something about `dish served cold`.ha ha

Anyway been to my old town where l was born. Its different, fewer shops, lot boarded up fronts. different coulers and noises as people chat.

Could l hell find a decent place for a cup of tea.

But had German donner kebed.

you see its differant, that's all not worse not better. Differant.

That should not fill me or you with fear. Its differant at present there are enough challenges ahead for the many.

Shocked with latest interview yesterday with PM on Breakfast TV.

I am apolitical explore the issues but not too concerned for individual nor the parties.

But the ignorance around concerns of poor ,vulnerable, aged, disabled further Children in poverty. Well it shocked me.

@susannareid100

tells the PM about 77-year-old Elsie who eats one meal a day and stays on the bus all day to avoid using energy at home. She questions the PM about the comments he made about people having to make choices about what they spend their money on.

The aged, unemployed ,sick, disabled, lets not forget Carers, get nothing so basically they are discriminated against ! This government do it discriminate, if such was done in any other sector you would called out for victimisation.

Again if you are sick or disabled in Tory run England 2022 .

well that is a very scary place to be.

A government that sees them as nothing, not counted, ignored, rejected, placed on scrap heap, . A government treats these groups as scroungers, benefit cheats, workshy, Makes laws borrows ethics that treat them accordingly

Our family and heart failure who knows the next days events.

What is coming next, whats around the corner. Why is it not possible to discuss change.?
Is hoping to see change so radical these days. My liberalism based on some magic thinking that everyone's arguments are based on thought through ideas/ethics/searching.
However sometimes it just passed over by loud active group of protesters.
A loud minority have hijacked principles of many at times when other stuff, like pandemic, War in Europe. Further isolation produced lack of social cohesion.

In my recent past ,well 12 years ago underwent Triple heart by pass.
Complicated surgery and recovery was limited, yeah worked some but got bit worse.!
I cope, so would you  I`m  no star, occasionally it is a struggle
My son ,three other brothers and one cousin, all members of Male section of family
All fit like me, pretty healthy.
This feels like a curse from some movie, but it not, stuff of life. Limited capacity life.
Yes NHS Does what it must. But what's coming next around the corner.
Last evening my brother Philip,was sat at home healthy.
Today he is in extensive care in Hospital. Unsure of the future. Having undergone cardiac procedure
Healthy lifestyles part of his teaching his profession.
Who knows what's is ahead.
What's around the corner.
Oh yeah some will say 'Buckle up for the ride',not me. My healthy lifestyles and clear mind. Deeper awareness of spiritual did not prepare myself.
Nor did it keep me away from challenges of harsh moments.
But today we stand, heads bowed again in prayers. Wrestling to find correct words.
Life not like the Movies...Dam site harder at time so be healthy stay safe.

Who knows what is around the corner ?

Be more Liberal

 Something just confused myself

The hatred evident

From warzone to social media

Same Voices

Less debates

Less dialogue

Less discussion

Even in church meeting l come across fundamental beliefs , loudly shared but

Opposite view prevented. Heard guy began discussion, starting with the following

All people trapped by work of the Devil.. doesn't accept Liberal interption of the  Bible..

Pastoraly no challenge to the same way that this person who literally takes word of the Bible.

No debate, discussion, dialogue.

This in place where we must cherish openness. Must listen,talk and walk it through.

life at present

 It appears the worlds has failed slowly, then all at once. 

A memory echo's

flotilla of gulls fly down and hassle the single rook, he goes to the edge of your viewing.

onto your thoughts a slight smile appears on my lips.

the breeze feels fresh.

Wheel chair still feels heavy but l have rested.

Lake  water reflects sunshine, noise is absent.

squirrel jumped across branches.

that was funny.

soon as we push uphill

we will be sat watching Big Bang theory and supping a cuppa

not alone

not confused

just tired

but fed up

not hungry

enjoyed the break

ready to be with others

had no calls

little interruption

soon be home

Only sand between toes stays

Sea and coast are places l journey to,  then can digest sights. Listen to the sound of nature.

Perhaps walk up hill, across sand dunes paddle in the cold sea.

Recall conversation, holiday, break away times when young family members enjoyed the building of sandcastle.

Estuary, mud flats,tide long way out.

Danger off tide times, cliff top walks, Caves, fantastic find in Rock pools.

Day ends. Soul music plays perhaps only in your head.

Warmth disappeared, cool chilly wind arrived.

Softly return to  face the travel home.

Back to TV, toast ,and cup of tea.

Pleasant day comes to close, memories are stored in the mind.

Only Sand between your toes . . . stays.

All these years recognising oppression.

At University in Northern city

we was educated maybe try develop an understanding around harsh.

Be Anti and oppose cruel, unnecessary, treatment,( Often of Others).

We told must combat oppression.

Must see this in our skills practice,work to bring change.

Evidence also part of persons developing Ethos?

But that was then.

This is here in `long shadows of now`

It appears Very few got the time nor make efforts,

Was it all in vain.

Disabled not enabled

 Access for disabled people

In our society become concern

Others not able to understand how difficult

it may be for those ins struggles,Little allowances to enable better movement

around shops.

Pavements stil hard to traverse.

Shops Aisle still blocked.

Other shoppers still hurry past snoring those disadvantaged.

We become good at leaving people outside alone.Excluded..not invited..ignored..not provided for and actual feeling like they are In the way.

In the washhouse

Our FEELINGS are important and often reflection of our desire to be involved with others

lives and way they experience them.

Some day it is just enough,to get your washing done.

Today , l am tired ,for once only about coping

Life not like in The movies

Some days more like being in the Launderette.

More life further economic Pain in a northern town

 Asked by campaign worker 

Why won't you vote for Labour

Because the struggles of the Poor not being heard.

Sadly by all the political elite

The parting on the left 

The parting on the right

Neither appears to care 

I hear the cries of economic Pain daily

Not sure if the struggles register with anyone connected with blue or red

All the shop closed down

Nothing to buy

Nowhere to go

Old people bewildered

They forced us back to place without HOPE 

 Some

Old Badges

But 

Issues

Still effects life experiences of many.

Economic well being, war is profit, greed, increased poverty.

Child abuse.

Sexual grooming, lack of justice.

Time to meet family and helping others to get through this moment. Coffee and ice cream. Sunglasses , smiles, some social cohesion.

So many wonderful moments, further conversation today. Don't want  this special day to end.  With Soul of Delfonics on car radio.

Even journey home was special. 

.