Our life`s are still...

 my life is still

Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination

I realized quickly when I knew I should
That the world was made up of this brotherhood of man
For whatever that means

And so I cry sometimes
When I'm lying in bed Just to get it all out
What's in my head
And I, I am feeling a little peculiar.

And so I wake in the morning
And I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream from the top of my lungs
What's going on?

And I say: HEY! yeah HEY yeah yea
I said hey, what's going on?

And I say: HEY! yeah  HEY yeah yea
I said hey, what's going on?

We feel like we can`t keep trying, but recall that is, the first thing we have to do each day. Get up and try again despite what may feel like hopelessness.

Maybe there is a circle we are among, in this place but we want to be out of the circle.

First preached on this song around the time it was released, In Liverpool 1993 at Anfield road fellowship.

But often felt like it was song about the journey, we make each time, 

when trying to get through `whatever life` is throwing at us.

Can` shake a fist at God` , we must have that relationship in spiritual sense,

Question, wonder and share, even where we can get angry.

However feel like it sometimes, LIFE  just plain confusing.

The hill , well still there, still trying to get that place we searched for all this time.

Searched for this place `here and now` all of our life.

Again we are here still got so much climbing to do.

Without privilege and economic advantages it feels harder then it should.

Try to not deconstruct but must remain hopeful in a world of danger.

 But neither can two great and powerful groups of nations take comfort from our present course--both sides overburdened by the cost of modern weapons, both rightly alarmed by the steady spread of the deadly atom, yet both racing to alter that uncertain balance of terror that stays the hand of mankind's final war.

JFK 1961 ..THAT LONG AGO 61 YEARS I WAS STILL IN A FULL NAPPY..

Today 11 April 2022, we are not in a healthy sate of play, the game still feels rigged and poor still getting poorer.

But that is not true either the poor vulnerable, aged, children, weakest , those without.

The burden they carry that weight is much heavier.

The Rich are getting much much Richer

WHY.

I Keep coming back , keep returning too, continue to ask how come we are not improving?

If `growing up` is becoming hard, jaded, Lacking hope, being unimpressed than if l  could, like to stay young. I want to love people , assume community have the best intentions.
If `growing up` is part of a processes of becoming accustomed witness others hurt, poverty,inequalities, Godlessness, then little old me, I don’t want to.

For 61 years l been trying to climb up a great big hill called HOPE.

To say hey hey hey what`s goin` on !

Sunday and someday will come.

The journey to Easter is one that leads to torture, violence,Death.

Tears, sadness,pain ,isolation, anger, lies, betrayal.

This so that, Kingdom way can be brought to you and l.

It hope we have to trust , because than end to rule of wicked, violent, grief  bringers.

`Graverodder `will turn up, take home the broken hearted, redeem the lost.

Wickedness, Death does not win.

 

Current English novel

 While we go around Europe fighting others Wars..We sacrifice our own poor LOSING the war on Poverty our People are dying

Imagine if we could use War funds to fight war on Poverty

Imagine if political forces where so committed dealing such concern in same way.

Imagine if we resourced efforts in same way,what experience that have to Poor in these battlefield's

keep searching we will find HOPE in Gods fallen world

 l do believe

l hold HOPE

Love will win

there a return one day to kingdom ruled by justice

JUST

Well l falter, forget, 

want it now, here, in the present.

That`s not lack of Faith..it not Faithless

its just God want this moment of terror, pandemic,War on Poverty, injustice lack of mercy

Absent of LOVE to be over.

 God where are you ?

Not hiding in the garden out of sight, l did not eat from some fable about apples, figs and other stuff. Not waiting for some Superman character to fly down take my hand , rescue me..But God where are you?

two images from War in Ukraine, and war in general..

They said in RUSSIAN .."THIS IS FOR THE CHILDREN"..Is this the world we humans have created.

they did this in Syria.. no one cared.

cynical they doing this to White Russian indigenous people, we allow.

They know they can get away with this..We allow..We created..the poor die..

But that`s OK they will rejoice in heaven , in the new Kingdom..

if that is acceptable then l have real problem the one held most of my life.

I have real problem with what's taking place.

but had this issue most of my life..suppose it time to bring out the shouts of heretic..

God where are you ?

 Not hiding in the garden out of sight, l did not eat from some fable about apples, figs and other stuff.

waiting for some Superman type character to fly down take my hand , rescue me..

        God where are you ?

maybe you are calling my name, maybe want to embrace whole of humanity, but this detachment is not helping.

     God where are you ? 

Russian attack of Kramatorsk train station kills 30 people, injures over 100. Thousands were at the station at the time of the missile strike, as locals are being evacuated ahead of the escalation in the east.

"Irina just wanted to live. How many more of my acquaintances, clients, Buchans must die for the world to come to its senses and punish Russia?”

     God where are you ? 

I shut blinds. Retreat from voyeurism.  
I have no heat or words to offer anyone simply asking

God where are you.

like many involved in a war.

War against poverty
I am a wheel that does not move the cart.

   God where are you ? 

      I need to be witnessing more beauty, it one of creators gifts l`m occasionally missing.

    Admire Art, films, sights, nature,Often stand in awe, so don't as person ,fail to grasp.

This day all about me placing trust in Others

 So forget about my vulnerability, Period giving complete trust to others.

Faith in others.

How can l tell you..when l communicate through spectrum that's clouded.

But these moments will appear long.

Time will move slowly.

Fearfully will sit anxiously getting more anxious.

Last walks taken place.

Prayers been uttered

Last glance at empty beaches.

More prayers.

Long day lot of strategy, planing. Industrial procedure.

Soon find my comforts waiting for me.

So Kevin placed trust in others.

Join me bringing the loving home to you.

 

It seams that thirst for justice is one of those issues we hunger for. 
Not trying to sound more spiritual than any other.
But exploring this, It is that `this here is me`.
`This here this is me`
Like you we come to this desiring Justice most of my life want the beauty of that  for my client base.
Almost like each day `gotta start all over again`.
Simply got to start each day all over again.

Achievements today include three sea trips

 Bit knackered, so just few pictures

Ferry from cerkerwra to Ghardex

Very hot And warm.

I noticed that a woman was unique, beautiful, natural human in her style

Conversed around` person centered approaches`, that came about later. Looked around Gozo tiny harbour.

Then fast track to Valletta

On pensioners ticket

Very swiftly passed all coastline

But grand not great views

Bit dirty difficult sailing

hen long climbs to upper barracka gardens. Difficult for me.

Walking in history on warm Sunday in the Mediterranean. 

Beats cold northern coast of Yorkshire

Final Boat is the silema creek across short water.

Crowded bus

That amount of passengers alarms Myself.

Swam...loved this day

But back to a beautiful Human being  lovely conversation about fashion, style, cognitive impairment in others. Oh to once again to be in that same stylist conversation with Mrs BHP. Beautiful Human being..

 The Pope told Gozians in Malta and the world he is thinking of going to Ukraine...Bravery but essential,as you depart this Island may you promote God's justice there. 

Wow l think Kingdom values are correct whatevers your position in life.

This gentleman is big hearted

I accept the danger of such concept

But it is time faith like ours, Christian fellowship.

Goes to be alongside vulnerable

Again with those in such peril

Shalom and justice, further mercy , righteousness.

 Do not recognise the boundaries put up by another's hatred.

So go Papa Frankie, speak Kingdom truth into that situation.

There been a urgent need

for Shalom's message to be taken to Devils wicket crease.

Time for stump opener for peace to stand in this place.

It feels to some,including me.

This is a Detrich Bonfener moment.

When they came for the innocents.

The Lord will be there. Standing waiting.

 Malta will be welcoming the Pope on Saturday, the islands' fourth Papal visit. Pope John Paul II, now saint, had come to Malta in 1990 and 2001, while pope emeritus Pope Benedict XVI visited in 2010.

Pope Francis arrived at the Malta International Airport just after 10am, where he was greeted by President George Vella, Prime Minister Robert Abela and the Prime minister's family.  The Armed Forces of Malta band and an AFM ceremonial guard of honour will conduct a welcoming ceremony. 

Loved to have a chat Pappa Frankie about..

Let's stay with corruption on the Islands.

Lack of justice shown to journalist.

Trading arrangement's not part of EU ethics.

Service industry exploitation of Napelise immigrants.

Health and safety in planning industry.

Further exploitation of African immigrants

Got fewpeesonal questions around issues that bother myself.

What's view on Epicureaism, Deism, Epicurean, little chat about Coterminous.

Mind you might be busy.

" I get it....."

Till we look back at this uncomfortable moment.

 Want to feel comfortable

Want to watch judge Judy dispensing

Old testament justice.

"Dont look there look at me..,"

It's stupid got this urge.

To sit in front of the TV.

Waste moments.

Wish too feel comfortable, not creating strategy for getting through moment.

Want bit of yesterday, the one that l have in my mind.

Don't need stress. Argument's, desire bit less conversations.

Want to sit and ponder,

Listen to echoes of others prayers.

Put out of my ears, Distant sound of torture and bomds, killings, violence.

Images become accustomed to watching.

Uncomfortable.

Still stunned.

Sad.

Like many become used to

Major trauma to another

Uncomfortable trauma.

Children in our world not developing knowing freedom.

Yong people feel fearful.

Young parents concerned about financial growth.

Uncomfortable.

Older folk  been through a great deal, unhappy with present state.

But can't escape to movies. Cartoon world of pretty coulers.

Got to live, rise above challenge. Stand as community, 

belonging and together. With hands reaching out to each other.

God not removed in his heaven. 

But with us living here connected in this place.

However uncomfortable, God alongside me and you.

Alongside all those others.

Journey on...

In Faith..

With comfort.

that we are not left alone.

Even though the steps ahead are steep.

Looks long way, 

even though feels in period, where unsure of outcome,

Still..

Got to progress.

Till ll that time when look back

 at this uncomfortable moment.

 

We are missing out by not valuing Old folk

 Chatting with all its values to some old friends and they so wish to apply knowledge with younger.

They thrilled me talking about gatherings,belonging.

Excited about young and opportunities to share.

But not being given chance would enjoy Listening to others.

Often laughing, always smiling,pretty lonely.

Still got so much giving.

Yet society placed them ..outside..excluded..pasted over.

Wrong value in relation to our aged person's.

Missing something very precious!

Missing something we should treasure.

They're sit chatting

Want engagement

Scripture places great value on wisdom of age

Spring in the air

I am sometimes afraid of fact that

I am getting older,my reflection informs myself.

Energy level agrees.. frustrating but it's Life.

It's Autumn of the journey.

However spring arrived.

Still like you, unique, beautiful, Human person.

 

Taking you on a ritual, walking, praying, thinking, reflecting...

Well it's about 8 miles across rough terrain,

So first port of call,

cuppa at my favourite place.

Wee bit of Chocolate cake.

T_shirt crappy trainers.

Piece of fruit.

Pass old ferry terminal.

Also gun emplacement 

For two centuries.

From Pirates to Luftwaffe pilot

All raiding and bringing hatred.

Now standing deserted.

In the distance is final destination, white tower ,alongside the best Fish Restaurant.

But that still miles away.

Ready for a cheese sandwich and that drink.

Had few conversations.

Chatted about nothingness.

Got real sense of both peace, furthermore achievement.

Before departing on way back we 

stop at place been too often.

It's become part of who l am.

This here in these moments

am trying to share.

Well this here!

This is me.

It's a small precious part of Kevin W.

Walks,talks,cups of tea.. mindfulness in walk and few pictures.

Miss you let me know something of You.

Your Rituals..treasure them as you should treasure YOU.

Music. Memories ,giving God more than a second thought!

 

Never really been one for writing,

Much prefer conversations.

Trying hard to not reflect on my own past

But when rest up 

Scared some things come to mind.

Was it always Rainbows. Sunshine and warmth?

Light up the road to where!

Song on playlist takes us God knows how to that place, long ago..WHEN.

NOSTALGIA makes me anyway,unsure of how others feel.

Kinda angry because NOW and HERE  not so bad. It's fine.

But heck. Health bit of a worry,tablets,pain, sprays. 

Slight concern might get too ill.

Sometimes l look at news feel even more powerless,

Examine conversations with younger folk. Despite own wisdom, they are more worried than l felt at their age.

My hope for youth is that, they will be able to listen to music. Engage across aged in good conversations,

Read books.. . Give God more than second thought.

Not sure if that is enough, but worked for little old me.

 Still stunned by awful events in eastern block sometimes known on maps as ,,'White Russia'.

Perhaps visciol reaction makes me feel fearful.

Remember periods in recent times,like attacks in Afghanistan, Middle East, home attacks in London. Always it appears to myself, that we want Peace but we don't want dialogue.

The apparatus of state shares to much idealogy , religious leaders gone mute.

The sense. The soil of argument is  mixed up. Real hatred is being demonstrated to another country. While some hide in shelters with Warplanes dropping bomds, killings taking place, whole towns Been raised to the ground.

But no reaction at present from Spiritual leadership.

Gone quiet.

Secular leader is driven by methophysics outlook. Non religious KGB trained carer person

Adopted superstitious approach to warfare, clearly crazy.

So Christian theology should more easily speak out against this madness.

Part of the war against the west, is just proxy campaign to ensure his world view is promoted.

Why is Church in this place acting so unholy.?

This leads me to question

Myself,  would l follow

Teachings of sermon on the mount.

Or would l choose to be silent.

Because it hits me there.

Do I engage with this mad thinking?

Have l courage?

Have l the strength

Speak out?

It may be recent history is one of the church compromised to states message.

Economic wealth, cooperation with secular states, driven by things not

Of the spirit, not teachings of Jesus Christ.

Secular journey became inspired by Church Not the other way around.

We want different.

How can this happen when it appears the Faith journey leadership's

Become muted.

Muted.

There is hope because anylisis

Showing that a religious split is occurring?

Many spoken out, facing huge challenge.

Silence. Is no longer accepted,

Like People , Priest's discouraged from doing 

Relationships with Authorities.

Some statements been made.

We must pray ,hope, they split and refuse to pay homages to the Russian federation.

Importance of Rituals and apparent nothingness.

Part of my present ritual is to walk to Dock , watch the ferry leave ,arrive.

Drink a café, eat local snack then walk to pier entrance, up onto rocks examine the Rock pools.

Saw swallows arrive. Fish in large schools swimming.

Pure sense of nothingness and precious moment of thinking about life.

Listen later some Soul music.

 Struggle to share our rituals.

Such is part of life, something do each day. part of your processing the day.

Also searching for soul music on Radio and this APP called Spotify.

Another Ritual creating a playlist to share.

We are allowed such moments, the are part of our humanity.

Not spiritual to place these moments in another box ,to be ignored or hidden away.

Rituals like our daily narrative are part of being you.

Enjoy.

Matthew getting better support

The areas l cannot perform, are now being tasked

by those in authorities to act.

Answer to prayers.

Hard to get this essential support.

Life is not like a movie..ITS MUCH HARDER.

 

Lot more of what we do..do without Others.

 Sat in restaurant with friends.

People adults from all over Europe are evident.

Some Germanic tribes sat in group food on plates..looking down at screen.

Do Not communicate to each other.

Made to be in relationships

Made to Be better than this..

Made for something different to this.

Made to communicate together.

A member of our group, sat talking on their phone..missed out on better, missed 

out on the different way of being. Missed out on Listening. They talked .

We are in multitude of relationship's.

They require nurturing

Relationships require effort.

Relationships been remoulded by technology, but not advanced.

Technology is wonderful. But it is for Us to master.

Technology creates in us ,some of us slave approach. 

We are their for media relationship.

Relationship that does not work. If we do not work at understanding it's limitations.

Messy way of being

 

As sense of belonging to each other has altered

Our understanding around, 

what's community also become altered

Older folk taken more voluntary roles.fulfilled some parental responsibility

Community are less connected with people, more concerned about tasks, then people in local places.

Relationships are lot more messy. Appears less desire to understand in educationally settings what might constitute community.

Families become isolated, although functional can excised without wider gatherings.

Many don't vote.only 1\3 vote, they excersie control not just over others who voted. But over those who did not take part in process.

Not involved local dynamics.

Authorities connexion is further slight, so much of what we do..do without the other.

Life appears to be happening at such fast pace, trying to equate nuensces is hard!

We are detached from each other, more isolated, less a sense of belonging.

Older people not invested in for their quality of what can still contribute.

Some who have lived life's where alcohol misuse,drug dependant, never reached potential.

Many simply excist.

Dwellings we call homes can be splendid. But for many streets are Dickensian fairytale.

Hard to be comfortable, with over occupation.High energy bills affect quality of life experienced. Other factors also.

 

Once people knew people in own  streets, most folk.

 Young knew older folk, had honourable acknowledgement of their journey.

Trips to towns become less frequent, social cohesion stumped, no longer are we expected to

know lot of local residents.

Churches ,Social cluds, youth centre,old skool pubs,trade union halls, were gatherings (not exclusive), where,young, family,older, plus very young , crossed age cultures ,

would meet together.

Lack of present authoritive service's in Rural,seaside community's

Never been well resourced. Now further leads to poorer quality of life.

Remoulding community and deeper awareness of issue's affecting individual development been known long time.

Reluctances to support poorest among ourselves. Increases poverty.

That increased both strain on society,strain on remodelled new families.

We are media and internet linked, but not connecting. 

Those already without,  further disadvantaged when not technology resourced.

Community now confusing.Its happening less in reality.

Sadly happening more in media links ,

That's if they work.

Those services that should outreach to vulnerable and powerless.

Sit waiting concerned,

But not grasping that face to face contact.

Relationships.

Conversations around issues,

Gatherings,

Community,

Society disjionted.

Unskilled workers,not pastorale 

use keyboards to make decisions around provision.

Such decisions are life altering cannot be

done away from actual involvement, with individuals and communities.

Happy Birthday 66.sorry today your stars suggest,not Reaching true potential!. l am bit ill.

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The journey of another person's worth pain.

 We all need to feel others are listening

But we don't do that often nor as deeply

As we should.

Too often noise drowning out what being said, 

before a word has been spoken.

Some people are difficult to listen to,l am for sure sometimes,

Personal stories are worth investing proper time.

Buddest teach, that we should focus on one thing only.

So do that when privileged to be hearing narrative.

Listen well, if get chance, Listen actively.

 

Somewhere tonight people grief is being enjoyed by Russian leaders.

 

Innocent

Powerless

Vulnerable

Aged disabled

Poor and weak

Unable to flee 

incapable

Not wanting to harm Others

With no desire to harm you brave Russian leaders?

You killed children,old people, tell lies at gathering of a United Nations, where escrimant and vile vomit,filled lies pour out of you like toxin's, from sulpher filled hell.

Masters of nothing but senseless War.

One-- you will be held accountable!

Two--Then Real United Nations will decide your fate.

My only hope is that it concludes, you are no longer allowed to know true peace.