There was chaos that l just didn't quite recognise.
Feel that's known by those `creating the chaos`.
Long Hospital corridors,
36 hour shifts sat waiting for results.
Never came, if truth be told.
Green tops worn by officials whose badge one couldn't see.
Without food and substance, feel drained. Questions ignored. Injured person whose health is failing longs for cup of coffee, and few hours without tubes, attachments, drips and bloods being monitored.
Quietly murmur between Father and Son. No one wants to help.
Walk again long corridors, through swing doors ring the bell …Wait...Wait.
In the chaos, We sneak out and grab a coffee, He has a fag break, the smell of illness has increased. Stares of others he recognizes.
Matthew had not really been eating, talked about a future ,trips out, Yorkshire breakfast, ring necked Fulmars, Lapwings, and riverside walk.
Bedside cabinet near hospital bed, curtains drawn around, In a carrier bag magazine, chocolate bar and tin of coke. Did another day pass in that place. Your eyes glazed over, looking empty very thin. Got football top on. You where dying. Suppose you knew. But me had this thing ,can only call hope. Hope or Faith.
It been a bad year since you departed. Where prayers unanswered ?Me today like days before ..`Think you went too soon`. All the updates, prayer requests, conversations. where they for me.
But you told me...`I know whose next to me`.
Still see you so strongly in my minds eye...that last bowl of soup you drank ..Your smile as buzzard came down near the car. Love of days out. In the misery, pain, darkness of your last few days. To have gone out like that, heart attack, gangrene, influenza, misery of powerlessness. Still
Still Had a sense God was close.
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