What l struggle with is the` faith leaving`, issue so evident in deconstruction.

Deconstructing what we’ve been taught, is evident in some circles where the `gathering`, only white middle class and educated `assemble`.

Well they don't gather, nor do they assemble. 

They communicate by TIC TOC, ZOOM, etc..

Because, going to be frank here, feel having spoken to some, struggle with face to face contact. — Deconstructing is a painstaking process that often leads to the rejection of religion altogether.

Which then leads to more isolation, detachment broad ethical delimas. Found sadly those l have counselled.

Bitter reflection on felt treatment in Church.

Last night as l return to some Normal `Kevin behaiour` , did walk therapy with a ex college. they stated.

"Had to say this...Do you think l did right thing"?

It is not important what l feel around the comments made.

What I am about to describe is simply critical thinking.

The value is we discussed, l counselled, we could by our movements ,face contours, tone of words, pauses, body speaking, assess more then the words.

Often people leave a gathering because they, `FEEL` something around way they are perceived, understood, thought about. Which often does not exist, nor is it the intended case.

“Question what you believe while continuing to believe what you are questioning.” 

Is what we must do while keeping in mind that when we are continuing in Fellowship, worship, gatherings for cuppa, being part of the faith family. We all are growing and developing.

Mistakes especially in relationships will arise. If often FEEL uncomfortable, its normal. But if it becomes a burden go else where.

What l struggle with is the `faith leaving` issue, so evident in deconstruction movement. Small as Nomadic, deconstruction is. Losing ones religion, that is a common thread and theme.

Let's give pink custerd and Hope opportunity.

What the Christmassy song go like...

By a Liverpool poet who was shot Dead. ,"All we are saying is give peace a chance".

Again and again, as nurse said last week. ...'Always people are trying to take others land, their property, things they hold'...

Prayers taken over the TV News in my home. Prayers been offered for all people in the latest War.

Hope, in that great big hill we must walk.

Don't forget means you are part of that journey, find a way of being hopeful in your own place, your own home, relationships.

Because that Hope seeks out into all areas of environment. Like pink custard on chocolate pudding you know the one.

(Nearly bought some in town yesterday).

It sinks into the hard crust, but you need more pink custard. Eventually get spoon through.

Honestly that what hope does, it gets into all areas. Don't give up on Hope for peace.

God bless.

Deeper, but still celebratory.

Yes guess with so much Hospital plus poor health increased. Maybe coming across too deep, reflective, further know in general, too much have pondered.

But life at my age has to be some kind of celebration. Attempted to live at peace along with grace offered. Internally become self nurturing.

 (l think).

Experienced love of another, A close mega special relationship.

Overcome brokenness, strived overcome obstacles of unjustified Economic 'not so we'll being'.

Empowered others. Shielded some.

Long hours on street corners. Residential experiences. Cried and hugged oppressed.

Mainly in LIFE, walked on the clifftops where there is more danger. But views are better. Music, been listened too, DJ so others could dance.

Shared in visionary way my faith.

But hope always been, trying, to do it differently, to do it better, to do it the Kingdom of Jesus way.

The laughter. Hope leave long periods where others heard the laughter. Celebrate me in those ways.

 

Becoming more normalise.

Slowly been taking dressings off, eating more like l do, sleeping bit longer. Feeling like me. Stopped then cancelled task today, visited sick son. Bills and threats from local Authority ,relating to council Tax were opened. Got writing pad out to make a list.

The war ceased for short time.Abuse of others stepped up.The Xmas rush speeded up, Prices rose a bit higher, listen to some music new to me, but one track is reworking of another.

Detroit spinners ‘Sadie’,reworked by James Taylor on Album covers.

Prayed as is normal, observed some Bible made plans.

All the time aware that time is short ,the things need to say must be said, who knows honestly,”Where the time goes?"

————-This helps me reflect on the reason for this season————-

We want the throne of power.

God arrives in a manger

We want generals.

Angels call shepherds.

We want religious uniformity.

Zoroastrian Magi come.

We want political uniformity.

Foreign kings gather.

We want a warrior prince.

Jesus comes as the prince of peace.

HAVE SOME FUN AND RELAXATION..STAY IN TOUCH.

 

SPENDING TIME JUST SITTING ALONE WITH GOD. BEEN TAKING SOME TIME TO SHARE MY HEART WITH GOD

BEEN THINKING ABOUT. WHAT DO I LOVE DOING, 

BUT ALSO WHAT I AM DREADING?

pretty aware am fortuNATE had lot of health issues, time not on my side.

truth is like old northern souls song says..time is passing me by..

anyway bit of normality ENTERED , this DAY. going to depart, catch you all soon.

HAVE SOME FUN AND RELAXATION..STAY IN TOUCH.

Not a good patient.

Good news going home this evening.

Can't wait to be home.

Challenge news is some major surgery required soonish.
 

Not much on TV anyway. Actually been  feeling tense.

Stress levels or knowing unpleasant experience is ahead.

Not a good patient.

In my mind ,drifting, could be the meds.

In my mind keep going on trip to That island in the sun. You know the one.

Still waiting gowned up on my bed. Unable to get blood from me yesterday took ten attempts. Fasting the bloody killer. When in someone’s else’s care it not easy to be comfortable and calm.

Internally l am wrecked , but projecting different image.Sometimes we have too.

DDA News.

Disability News Service has obtained a copy of a report about the difficulty of claiming UC, which the DWP have fought to keep secret for four years. The report concludes that the design of universal credit “is inadequate for vulnerable groups” who therefore need extra help from staff through adjustments and specialist support.

Suns out .. stuck for words.

Anyway in Hospital, long day so far! Three words they say to describe your feelings today..

Fearful...a little....

Reflective...often am....

Vulnerable....when in others skill sector.

Anyway took your picture down off the TV. Be bit daft if don't make it, explaining it's presence there.

Struggled today because got to let them know they missed something,(which now they admitted). But l told them.

Suns out.....

FUSION REQUIRED

 l need to expand the group of people, that am gathering among.
So has to include those who bring fresh perspectives, can disagree with. Feel uncomfortable among.
Mostly it is found that when this happens ,myself perhaps you also we often stimulate creativity, develop better understanding, read more varied way, reflect internally in different ways.

Fusion works in Music, in Films, look at how it improves sonic,style,delivery. 

Also networking as community worker my practice better improved with variety of people contribution.

In Rural community l personally feel suffer because of lack of coulers blending 

Of course as we are finding out when we don't the very opposite happens and hate among other things grows.

Some aren't privileged as me.

Coastal dash before Hospital, my heart is failing more than estimated,further medical intervention more urgent.

So looking at harbour filled with high tides, empty of People. As lights for season get turned on. Feast of Christmas's approaches.

Already 'Rush', is evident, alongside the emptiness. People Rushing to be doing, spending,saving,bargain hunting, collecting of thing's.

We drank warm cups chocolate, ate bacon sandwich watched ... Wagtails, slight owl, harbour ducks, cormorant,

 

 

Now idle boats with Lobster quarters filled, the season is closed.

Spoke about if worse happens. Discovered the late letter for NHS which came yesterday.

So hence the rush to be at the harbour.Desire to remain apart from decision.

Gratitude for those care for me, those who will look after me, those whose work includes a service for my ills health concerns and other benefits l am privileged to accept.

Yet some today don't receive like myself. Thy are suffering, kidnapped, held in prison.

Yet some today don't write on this blog,  they write names on hands in case a explosive strikes.

Yet some today don't receive any warm drinks or food. Yet some today don't get benefits l am privileged to receive.

Sometimes in my foolishness l forget my privilege.

God bless you for reading these words. May you receive same privilege as me further, more beyond.

Some words hiding the hope.

The 'News channels 'in our home is on mute more into the 'Style council', vinyl offering ..played on my record player a coffee and book to start my day.

Feel like a bit of a coward.

But need to preserve my self.

Words used on TV are heavy.

Tales of suffering...Conflict in strong narrative... oppression of two tribes.

War.Death.Grim totals. Victims.

Protest, disruption, anger, Hatred all visible, further on display.

But hope is that despite ignorance on display. A better Different way is there!  When got tired and spent all that anger.

Love wins. When you are ready.

Letter arrived ..it seams my Heart failure based on result's has-been  under assessed.

.

Don't think latest planned procedure going to work . No one's listening.

Today Been pre operation discussion but unsure if, nurse heard my comments.

You see they going to operate again.

Become pretty tired and too much travel to appointments 

Done all stress testing.

Did the resting/chill testing. Pain coming bit to often and relief having Tobe accessed too often.

That in itself makes me more ill. 

Anyway when it goes quite, just away all my wisdom will return. If goes quite for too long. 

Been good knowing you all. Sing hallujah anyway.

This loud wicked terror that's gripped the news.

...."lt will pass".... Love wins. 

Hospital Tuesday early. Drop few blog pages before then.

what happens when people come together to plead for positive change

What happens when people come together to plead for positive change?

REMEMBER THOSE DAYS, DISCUSSION, DEBATE , CHATS, CONVERSATION, CUPS OF TEA.

MORE DISCUSSION, FURTHER DEBATE, READING ,REFLECTION. PRAYER HUGS, CUPS OF TEA, LISTENING ,TALKING TO SOMEONE Didn't AGREE WITH.

ASKING, REQUEST FOR PEOPLE TO BE Tolerant.

MORE DISCUSSION ANOTHER DAY OF DEBATE.

SCRIPTURE, EXPERT WITH A INFORMED VIEW. FURTHER LISTENING, PERSONAL SHARING EXPRESSING OWN THINKING 

CUPS OF TEA.

READING LIST.

SILENCE OBSERVED.SMALL GROUP WORK, FURTHER TOPIC RELATING TO THE AGENDA. 

JOURNEY HOME, PHONE CALLS, CONVERSATION AROUND WHAT OTHERS FELT.

FEELINGS, EMOTIONS, REFLECTION. APPEALING TO LORD FOR ANSWER.

WRESTLING WITH ISSUE. LOOKING AT OTHERS,EXCHANGING SMILES.

WORDS TOOK HOME, RADIO INFORMING OTHERS.

HATRED MUTED.....MUTED...MUTED...MUTED...

stories you been involved with

 Memory is just storage, it is existential; contains the stuff of life itself.

the rewarding stuff of your life.

A life lived well, from the best you can do at that moment,

recall your learning struggles, all that wrestling ,those people those kisses, that walk,

tears, sadness, stories you been involved with.

From your point of living.

SOME THINGS ENABLE US TO REMEMEBER THE PAST.

“You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

Our memory is an enabler it brings things to the front. Sometimes it is select.

Not experienced this but know people who can recall dreams and the messages from sleep memories.

My now foggy, memory, brings to my front a  way of speaking about who people are, who they were then, how l wish to recall them at present.  Where they have come from in my life journey.

Its a wonderful thing but it can be prejudice, the inner lens inside me is baized by prejudice's picked up. Not in a shopping bag kind of way,  but in suttlies have come into my focus.

By knowing this l can change and not be governed by just how l imagine it was. hope you keep questioning what you recall, experienced and emotionally are connected with.

Also hope you enjoy those memories, ones that don't leave like people do.

Would you rather.....

And the day grew cold, people retreated.

Harmony is missing, 

Shops are emptier than normal.

News is sad, people in some places are angry. Prayers will still be spoken.

Kindness must be excised, smiles must be visible. Cups of tea need to be drank.

When drinking tea, sharing also. When take time to have a cuppa. Always have a conversation.

Always talk the issues. Often share fears. Others witness this event.

Or even in the pud or wine bar.

We are best when we converse with each other. When we chat, talk, bring issues into the open.

Hope today get to share with another company, if like me on some days it's just you. If today it's just you.

Invest in a cup of tea. Till you sit opposite another may you be blessed.

Simple things are blessings.

Following the Outlaw Jesus kinda of way.

We greeted each other, then talked, shared a flask  warm cuppa. Enjoyed conversation, wrinkles added to our smiles. Others conversed about all sorts of stuff pleasantly.

The wind started to return,wet appeared to sink into our feet.

Headed home, last-look at chilly sea . Rough waters came over the foreshore .

In what could been another planet hatred was mentioned. Killing of Jews uttered loudly.

Like few others , justifiably at present, we not engaging, only aim is to do our kindness, remaining in conversation, acceptance another’s  view, plus the desire to point to.

Different way!

Better way!

Loving mercy, being more humble,wrestling with conviction, being challange by the Kingdom principles way.

Failing, then trying again to remain following the Outlaw Jesus kinda of way.

Bible examination, pondering.

God, investigate my life;  get all the facts firsthand.

I’m an open book to you; even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
    I’m never out of your sight, You know everything I’m going to say
    before I start the first sentence.
I look behind me and you’re there, then up ahead and you’re there, too—
    your reassuring presence, coming and going. This is too much, too wonderful.

It seems sadly the case that there is no room for forgiveness in the land, where 'Jesus the Jew', made clear that forgiveness, a commitment to non-violence and even love of one’s enemies was what was required to break the cycle of violence.

You ,me, are not insignificant!

So journeyed home, the Sojourner that l became, keeping the Coast ,

plus the sea on my left.

Flooded fields, birds hunting sparowhawks, consign fluttering Kestrel high above Buzzard. radio played music and it's sonic soothing a troubled soul.

Expect like me, well l know you so we recognise weeks like this do not take you away from concerns.

Do they?

But they perhaps bring different, better, or clearer focus.

Troubles in a world getting more confused. But disturbing for our younger folk. Greatness of a 'starry Cosmo's', fueled my significance.

Family illness, money issues, food insecurity...against evidence of a creative force, identify God who desires to know me and you.

We are not insignificant.

If only you, God, would slay the wicked!  Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!

20 

They speak of you with evil intent;

 your adversaries misuse your name.

21 

Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord, abhor those who are in rebellion against you?

22 

I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.

So perhaps a bit from my favourite Psalm in the good book. Which resonates with myself and the enemies disapplying their wickedness at present. 

You see justice is not just about US.

I must confess that kevin has been slightly naive about the long term damaging,underlying causes of what’s going on in the Holy Land now. 

• Terrorism is Terrorism whoever displays this attribute.
• Palestinian people have right to a homeland.
• All should seek peace.
• Religion and spirituality are not the same thing.
• Pray for those who persecute you, is hard,difficult,a challenge.
• God is great, he does not desire killing of others as a tribute.

That is pure evil. He made it clear in Sacred writings everything he wants,needs, requires,would like of us.

Me

You

To love God,love your neighbours,follow Jesus.

Be humble,show mercy,be just.

You see justice is not just about US.

Honesty, plus sharing on high level.

 

Tried to understand the brokenness of a person experiencing critical illnesses.

But fact is that, cannot any more.

Honesty they say is a virtue a value we praise. But feel guilt, truth is cannot cope with anothers illness further poor health.

Become something of a emotional punch bag, to their abusive nature, false accusations, sharpness of tongue.

As 'counsellor'!, guidelines offer advice around time with hurt person. We need to seek own counsel, find own protection, move away and retreat. Little support for non practioner even in field. But family members cannot carry the weight.

You can expect,you must, should allow others do some lifting.

Going to be pain,maybe legal threshold for other service providers.

Not walking over to the other side.

No matter what this feels like.

God be with you.

 And U,and U.

Few films to fit in before l pass over....

 One way Christians are called to love their enemies is by going on the offensive “to destroy strongholds, arguments, and lofty opinions which blaspheme the knowledge of God” (2Cor. 10:3-5).

To seek justice ,walk humbly, desire justice for all. That`s big call but hey up for a challenge. 

                       NOW FOR SOME OF THAT LOW LOW CULTURE.

It is a story of greed and only incidentally revolves around American Indians. Evil men of avarice,

;- (memo2Self check out words meaning;-).

 They don’t care what colour a person’s skin is. They only care about how they can exploit in order to achieve. That has been the same for every period of history ,every colour of man since the dawn of civilisation.

With that said, Killers of the Flower Moon does an excellent job of just telling the story

The reality is that Killers of the Flower Moon’s plot isn’t conducive to deliberate pacing. Its tale of murder and betrayal that lasted for the better part of a decade and reached as far as President Warren G. Harding is one of repeated and deep treachery that rocked a community to its core. Yet, instead of feeling a sense of panic over what is to next befall this beset upon community, the audience gets to experience the passage of every second of the five or so years that the film covers.

Meanwhile back home, near my first floor flat.

 "We are confident that all areas of flooding  will subside in the next few hours. We have free teas and coffees at reception if you would like to join us in the meantime."

But with the ground already saturated after Storm Babet, substantial downpours could result in flooding.
Heavy rain is likely to fall for much of Tuesday, with drier conditions unlikely to return anytime soon.
Water Water Everywhere.

I've just heard this news today,again my life is about to change.

 

It was mid afternoon on a Sunday when they called. A Sunday that got Me thinking not Good.

So walked to the cliffs, the ones first walked aged 16, nearly 50 years ago. Walked first time on solo journey that lasted 3 full days. Mainly cliffs with the sea on my right.

Journeys gone, now l have to face dilemmas around another health issue.

They want to deal with pain been experiencing, got to reach better place but options not in my favour.

Of course lost few friends very recently.l just heard the news today.

I wish to share it with special one, that not going to happen. We sit in a caravan by the sea. On the cliff face looking out at a familiar view.

Meal was real good, quiet but then got washing up to do, have to go to local club, but very introvert at present.

Like coming away to reflect.

Enjoy thinking deeply.

Not confident sharing .

These feelings are important, as we process. Believe that more common in the generation born since 2005.

Lack of fusion between the age groups. C19, recession, obsterty. 

Society become more detached and isolated.

What will my inheritance be? What kind of legacy am l giving to others.

I just heard the news today, a Sunday.

Another open heart operation projected. Urgent meeting tomorrow.

Hope today is simple, LIFE in existence.

Lots of things influence myself, like this image. Go off in different directions.

Not always connected geography, emotional, or physical.

People and places, memories and reflections 

Beauty of golden coulers in tree's, Sparrowhawk's , Buzzard, kestrel all put shows on for us yesterday.

River dangerous and overflowing.

Chilly winds have arrived.

But conversation and tea trail around Filey in North Yorkshire.

Cooking meal for others, sharing silence and appreciated empty plates.

Solitude as swam alone, simple 10 lengths. Just LIFE trying To understand the darkness evident in other places.

Trying not to let "Wild thoughts escape", the Hope today is looking around at LIFE IN EXISTENCE.

Let the loudness of others be muted for l don't want, to hear them.

 

Alternative and early Christmas message 2023.

Shouldn't Christmas At least belong to December.

Is it Greed?, because confident got nothing to do with free speech.

All shops are garnered with trimmings ,chocolates, presents.

Everyone knows  that Kevin just loves the season.

The Emanuel, 'Prince of peace' radical, thoughts, inspiring words, followed by actions.

Who would have thought that 'Shalom',  would be so missed.

Often find others chosen some exotic alternative.

Hatred been one many have chosen.

All we really need is (little old-fashioned). Peace ,Love and understanding.

WHERE YOU THERE WHEN ....

Going on around us all at present in UK society, Reflexive in-group solidarity. Most groups do this, whether it be ethnic, nationalistic, or religious. There's typically always outrage when x group attacks y group, but much less so within groups.

It's normal, but definitely worth pointing out at every opportunity for the value of self reflection and re-evaluation.

Where were you when ISIS was launched and beheaded tens of thousands of Arabs in Iraq, Libya, and Syria in the name of Islam? Why didn’t you take to the streets and raise their flags? Why didn’t you condemn the terror and call for a ”ceasefire”? 

Where were you when Arab dictators and terrorists killed hundreds of thousands of Arabs in Syria and Libya? Why didn’t you take to the streets and raise their flags? Why didn’t you condemn the terror and call for a ”ceasefire”? 

Where were you in the last decade when Saudi Arabia, backed by 8 Arab countries, killed 400,000 Yemenis, my own people? I didn’t see any of you take to the streets or raise the Yemeni flag. I did not see any of you condemning the terror and calling for a ”ceasefire” while Arab countries were slaughtering my own people.

This must lead to some self-reflection. 

When millions of Arabs are slaughtered by other Arabs, you say nothing. 

But when 7 thousand of Arabs are killed by Jews defending their right to exist, you revolt, you get angry, you storm the streets in the East and the West, you raise the Palestinian flag, you condemn the terror, you call for a ceasefire, you turn the world upside down. 

Why is that? 

Why were you so silent then but SO LOUD now? 

Can it be that you are finally raising a flag and creating chaos because you only hate that the perpetrators are Jews?

Because you obviously don't care when millions of Arabs are killed by other Arabs. 

Can it be that you storming the streets is just you venting out your hatred towards Jews? The same hatred we learned in our mosques and schools?

You speak of ”numbers and proportionality.” But by the rules of proportionality, you should not be raising Palestinian flags. 

Unless, there is another agenda at play: Jew-hatred. Or as I would call it: Hatred.

Is it being repeated AGAIN.?

The example and horror stories.

The Education system, school visits to camps where Jews, Gypsies, outsiders were killed.

Experience of the hero's who survived but suffered trauma.

Books we read.

Films made to tell us more,-' Schindler list'- one example.

Awful images.

Documentaries, newspapers, biographies all given us the same narrative.

Did we learn NOTHING.

Do we keep QUIET.

Is it being repeated AGAIN.