Breathe 4

The horrible nature of the attacks in Southport UK. Well they made me think back to strolling, hand on hand, along Lord street. Different time, different Kevin.

Couldn't really focus positively last evening. So put on old TV programme drifted away a little. No.

No. No. Can't keep returning to a pattern of behavior that's been encouraged by those in Authority. They should be ashamed. Lack of integrity. Misuse of truth. Unwillingness to be honest.

That meets more violence more mistrust, further disharmony. Violence dwells, old fashioned word like sin arrived back in my understanding of way we behave plus tasks that follow.

What part are we all paying in promoting such a wicked society? Groups encourage acts of hatred. Communication about others as victims and perpetrators rise up. Individuals without reflection respond inappropriately.

So till l know what to say that's helpful, Retreat and breath in silence. Away.

Faces that would make cream go sour.

Hull City were beaten 2-0 at home by Newcastle United on Saturday. 

I was there but sat away from my mates in fact opposite side of the ground. Perhaps it me, just didn't like what commonly called banter. found it at times oppressive, feel the aggression and dislike. Sometimes pull up people around myself.

" l hate that team, those supporters, that place ` Admittedly, City won't come up against teams of Newcastle's quality in the Championship this season, but they will face competent sides who have the ability to exploit weaknesses, our defense plus the goalkeeper option, are area of some weakness.

Quite big crowd for a friendly nearly 14000, However the atmosphere was so different from in late 90`s, and 70`s, lot more children plus females. That's good overall pleased me.

Lack of 'city hard core',they sat in pubs a few miles away with faces that would make cream go sour.

Stuck…..here!

 

Sometimes ill health is like a prison.
Want to be out.
Want better, want different.
Stuck in a place where can’t get out.
Today has been one of those days.
Suppose that’s simply being ill.
That’s all that’s wrong with myself
Ok you’re right…..one of the things wrong.

Saturday before the match in a city centre Cafe.

If your spending time quietly at Beginning of day, furthermore if you reflect on events before speaking. Your at a place l would encourage a person to remain.
It's a place that myself reside in often as l can.
It's place called ...."Being ahead of the game" ...










Watching crowds, hearing Church bells chime, weathers soothing. Conversations are light. Smiles are evident. Kindness is witnessed.
Chaos challenges of TV world, newspaper headlines, loud gatherings are strangely absent.
Perhaps it's a mood that's arrived or indeed a place that we have sought. Or perhaps simply tuned out the outside noises.
Enjoying the moment. Hope for you that a place like this is also visible for yourself.
Oddly enough also noticed coulers of clothing, sports tops around here. Saturday before the match in a city Centre Café.

After the match we headed home, rain came, lights of the cars reflected in pools forming on roads. Although wet no one minded really. We mumbled among ourselves. Had to ignore few rude people. but that's Saturday in Hell.

Just a day, sense of Hope.

Day began with prayer, car drive, music old fashioned Drifters, some thing like soul '4 to the floor,' northern.

Melodic deep sophisticated soul. Emotional journey of lost love, something about hope. Hope that in the future, you'll know when true Love really passes by.

Sat near rural Church awaiting mate who was in the village pub. Having agreed to pick him up ferry him home.

When the Bells sounded out chimes, it felt pleasant, a sense of something remains, even when you're gone.

Today time with the younger family friend's. I feel old but loved time with younger folk. Hope here also. Mind you would have enjoyed the Tea cake.

Days of supping tea, laughing, Buying board games. stupid tumble through Charity shops

Feels right to be part of village
Bringing up young folk .

We have the gospel, we have inferred messages, have own sense of purpose but persist in not wishing for better.

Are we all `Saintly people 'or is that journey we must finish, before others reflect that we were special ?

What way would you measure someone's `being good`, because some people appear to be choosing wrong side to be on. Just caught up with some news from all over. Not nice this place of ours. Locally saw Police wrestling people to the ground , 8 Police cars and Vans, around 20 officers.

Threats are made in our community to others, even individual old folk get into fist fights at 63 and 82. Fraud is applauded Time is wasted . Plus self centered witnessed in life style and group conversation. 

Look at global and national issues just a wee scam across news feeds its depressing...

`Convicted Child groomers spared prison, Flags burned as supporters of Child abusing Prophet cheer, Police attacked by Muslim Mobs..Buses burnt...Child poverty...vulnerable attacked...

 

Netanyahu to Congress: Israel is in a clash between barbarism and civilization.

But we have been here again and again yet we don't appear to this stumbling Yorkshire Pastor to be learning anything new. Here are few lines about an old film. Now its dated but the morals are present.

Chariots of Fire is the story of two (relative) outsiders, whose stories unfold in parallel, destined to compete alongside each other; they are rivals, teammates but never friends, and in fact they have no meaningful interaction in the drama, though one beats the other in an early heat. Liddell, is a clean-cut Scots rugby star, athlete and lay preacher, under pressure to resume his family’s missionary work in China. Cheryl Campbell has the rather thankless role of his anxious, querulous sister Jenny. Abrahams, is an undergraduate and athlete at Caius, Cambridge, smoldering and simmering with resentment at the antisemitism from the head porter.

Well its worth some of your time. Here the real rub, we don't try new ways of being. We have the gospel, we have inferred messages, we have own sense of purpose but communities persist in not wishing for better, groups don't even appear (to this fool), to want different. We've got the saints who have gone before. But many individuals desire own demons, own worse, embrace bitter past.

IF YOU WILL EXCUSE THE PUN, IN RELATION TO THE MOVIE, WE KEEP RUNNING ON EMPTY.
 

Really nothing to do .,!

The pleasure of nothing to really do.
The curse of nothing really to do.

Like you try to achieve stuff, explore issue's, then Life is passing, your views don't count and your placed onto a heap. Discarded.
We are callous, oppress each other, behave in harsh ways plus neglect each other. Finding the youth are experiencing lots of the behaviour l experienced, as a senior aged person.

My culture is good at placing people in boxes, that's to do with control. "Aged now so stay out of the way" 

"To young, what do you know ".

"Your just kid's".

"That's what you think, but things are different nowadays " .

We expected, it's come about has the sociology people said it would. But really, we can't treat persons in way we do. You see in grand scale of things it may appear it's not important.
But how we treat the youths the aged, the powerless a measure of how community's thrive and develop.

Were not growing properly. Are we?

Journey’s planning.

 Soon l will return few hospital visits scheduled.Important date in August. Plans formulating in my mind. Dates are appearing off the page. Journeys to A then B are beginning to look possible.

Do you ever feel like you don’t belong where you are placed? Nor feel at home where you live?

Oddly do feel like this! Often, in fact it’s daily not unhappiness suppose it’s ‘the gypsie in me’. 

I am in the mood to disappear become incognito.Read deeper, walk, further, swim longer. Enjoy breaking out of Prison camp England.Book list to read is forming. Notes to become writings are taking place. Mind is emptying. Secrets location is being explored.

Autumn is eagerly awaited.Coldness darkness are enticements to leave.

Did l ever tell you l was weird in my planning to get back to my place of comfort.?

Well you know now.

How are you?

What plans are you establishing?

The 'dustbin of failed efforts'.

People are strange beings, behaviour is unpredictable. But old enough, wise enough, not so stupid, been here a while now.
So didn't fall for odd behaviour, just stepping back, accept Human nature is strange. That finding could also be your own discovery.
Growth in relationships is never as any books suggest.Human development is always a trail, and followed by errors.
It's uncomfortable, bit hostile,difficult not always easy to fathom. But in the mess we remain. Getting wrong is confusing minefield. Little rewards for getting relationships correct.

Walk on,walk forwards, some relationships are best placed into the 'dustbin', of failed efforts'. 

Creation screaming come here,walk awhile, so we should. God Bless thanks for passing here.

I don't really like sausage rolls either way.

But the rest is true tend to just get on and work hard.

There some kind of rouge computer crash going on presently. What it has achieved is something people like myself mention. Inflicted on many is this vulnerability that created when too reliant on IT Systems.

Even in 'Hong Kong', there chaos, crippled meltdown, that occurs if too computer dependent.

In UK exposed two things, one clearly is the wickedness and possible malicious intent of a few.

Secondly, many do not have a Plan B. 

Exposed economical,exposed social connections, exposed to dodgy technology.

And, of course you’re missed!

 And the ringed plover walked the seas l had just paddled in. 

And the sun shone ever so brightly, while everyone’s mood appeared uplifted.

And the Sea fret looked like it may pay a visit, just enough of a breeze took off the heat of the day.

And my mind returned to you Son. How much you loved the days like these.

And the laziness, the cups of coffee, pleased to drag on a fag, as the pirate ship sailed into the bay.

And of course l waved simple hello, in case in ‘Heavens windows’, you thought we’d forgotten you.

 100's views a day, no comments.

Like l said ..'Resting at present'.

Always been determined to grow. asking why are we not making new connections? 

Covid,lock downs,fear,lack of social mobility,culture of the environment?

Ask myself frequently,why am l not making new connections? Do l build good relationship's?

Kevin W. Is at pivotal moment on my journey! Lack of present community. My age, my health, The where am l, who have become! My prayers ,want to be part of something God centered, that's Remaining committed to building the Kingdom.

Does that alone isolate us ?

Does that detach me from others?

What's does a renewed, normal me/you even begin to look like.?

How much damage to community gatherings did 'lock downs', achieve? 

Because based on my observations no new normals, l witnessed breakdowns that are permanent! 

What are you observing?

Pretty ill at present.

So journey safe, while l obey Doctors, better then l felt yesterday. But not as healthy as l hope to be tomorrow.

emotionally still find this unsettling...

 Call me, were the last words I remember

Then the spring became December

And I still got no reply

Politely, I would ask whoever knew ya

What it was that I did to ya

But they all knew less than I

It's funny on the outside love was showin'

And I had no way of knowin'

You were all mixed up inside

Oh baby, if we'd only done some talkin'

You could've saved yourself some walkin'

Well, I guess they call that pride

I swear you haven't been away too long

I can still hear your favorite song

This was once your home, on my own now, it feels all wrong

Oh, I just can't get you out of my mind

Don't you have a heart, I've served my time

Oh, it just ain't right what I'm goin' through

Ten to one, I'm bettin', girl there's no forgettin' you

Yes the four tops with a northern soul classic.

so true the lyrics, 

she said call me...he did, she didn't answer, and love ended...

But still the ties remain. why because as l have communicated before `the heart holds different memories then the mind`.

That's why people can die of a broken heart.

If that wasn't sad enough.

The other may never know.

still he waits...

Sometimes just listen to music, Allow the magic to work..

Keep giving these nuggets of deep insightful spiritual advice and wisdom.

Today's from a simple but beautiful place. Listen to music. Get wrapped up in lyrics, sonic, sensor place. Some Arias Tuscan, Puccini, romantic devote, soul, dance.

Music smooths and soothes, transports, and reminds us. Touches our minds, stays in our hearts. Can mend , can heal. Can break plus disturb. 

Broadens us as we appreciate, share, enjoy music with others, plus the variety.

Music was my very first Love. Imagine it always will be so.

Allow the magic to work.

Walk in the wood's.

Take a walk, perhaps in the woods, drive a while listen to some music. Reflect, empty your mind. It's possible. Breathe,listen to your body. Look at the sky,lookup at the canopy above you. Is it trees, or long distance hills.

Walk. Walk a little. Walk a little more. Go further.

Have you become detached from that place you have just driven away from?. It will still be waiting when you return.

Enjoy now. That's another nugget of advice. Walk back. Walk that last bit of your journey. Head home.

My journey still taking place.

 

As l move on in my own faith journey still remain frightening comfortable with this journey. Hope am more compassionate, Confident offer more grace, know that l care, love, act in the interest of others. Know full well don't seek material stuff. More and More committed to the vulnerable, Supremely confident the Journey is long with so much still uncompleted. But grateful for those who encountered this journey. Even though journey at time's, been difficult to travel.

But recognise some claim cant be like this, 'where is your deconstruction from the past',they ask painting to a WOKE agenda that people like me will never embrace.

Like l do know there was no creation story,as portrayed Biblically. There was no actual Noah's Ark. Understand that. Recognise was taught some principles in Boxing ring, that are still applicable today in that craft.

Recognise that some 'ethical conduct', evident from 90's Youth work. Are still part of the choices made in these moments.

So why cannot the early learning's of my faith journey be still suitable, relevant?

Have we moved on ?

We may moved on, may also said farewell to some gifted people But old fashion way of encounters, old fashioned way of being with others, old fashioned way of being alongside others.

Are still vital. These ways are still ' the best ways', proven ways to share, to engage, to process, to produce.

Loved this images captured above, love further the writings of Pip Wilson, and John Allen around relationship.

Who are you? How are you doing? What's Life about?

Bit of what l know

All l really know is this. Love can be something really special. It can make you discover lots of good things in another person.

Health when it becomes close to unmanageable, can be a real bummer. 

how fortunate many are, that you spoke up, you acted, you became a target, but your resilience and character saved many.

 When I opened the criminal investigations into all child abuse cases in South Yorkshire over a decade ago, I was looking at life in prison for doing so. My own solicitor advised me not to come forward. I did and thank god I did. I can’t even put into words what it’s been like for me and my son but some of these bastards are now going to prison. Well done to all the survivors that are testifying in court and putting these men where they belong. The country is behind you!!

S A M M Y woodhouse

@sammywoodhouse1

Award-Winning Presenter: Out of the Shadows: Born from Rape • Best Selling Author ‘Just A Child’ • Award-Winning Activist • Exposed Exploitation & Corruption.

How fortunate many are, that this young Lady spoke up , Then she acted, you became a target, but her resilience and character saved many. A young Girl used to not being taken seriously nor accepted. Others perspective was the one accepted. Not the voice of the victim.

Not the voice of the vulnerable.

Not the Voice of the person nor the young children being abused,

How can it be in a society with upside down morals , we ignore such experience's.

While principalities and powers gain reward, strength, and are running riot, abusing children sexually trafficking young girls.

She became a target for speaking up.

She became a target for creating a scene that commentated...This is happening and its wrong.

The bigger the system error, the more you have to deal with trash.

The local authorities are not Broken,
they are in process of seeing the `system errors` they created bare fruit.
That's all that's wrong.
you created `autistic results`, that are off the scale.
allowed `transgender`, issues to be at forefront.
`Sacrificed` all your children to do this.
The bigger the lie....the bigger the `system error the more you have to deal with trash`.
It been created
this is the consequences.

Farewell Matty, hope pray see you in heaven.

Matthew David Waller, was born into a large working class family, in a Northern fishing Port called Hull.

Hull, for those who don’t know, is one letter from Hell.

Matthews’s great grandparents were born shortly after the First World War. Charlie, Mary, also Fred and Sarah. During the Second World War, they served as cobbler, land girls and a tank crew member.

They did what was expected of a large working class family, in a Northern fishing Port called Hull.

From mid-1920`s Children arrived including Tony, Peter, Keith, David, Margret, Barry, Denise, and Michael.

Born around this time also, Dennis Joyce Irene, Doreen, Rita, Keith Peter, plus Joan.

Added to the family Kathy, David, Willow man. Who became loved Aunties and Uncles? Heart issue also evident in the family today, this condition took grandad Waller very young at 56, Uncle David died also young, they lost Precious Margret and uncle Barry only 19 Died at sea.

Perhaps not too typical, of a large working class family, in a Northern fishing Port called Hull.

This family produced Engineers, Nurses, fishing net makers, cleaners, long distance drivers, wonderful mothers and Blue bass along with Baby sham drinkers,  .

If you wanted a bet placed at Beverly Races, well Sarah and Fred could put it on as they walked there from Stepney lane, collect any winnings as they walked back. A round trip 0f about 14 miles.

People passed away. New arrivals were born, roles were maintained new ones added.

As is normal with a large working class family, from a Northern fishing Port called Hull. More engineers, social care workers, NHS staff, youth workers, Laborer's, teachers, wanna be footballers, (quite few of them,) Boxers, Pastor, Bus drivers, Weight lifters. Dancers, typist’s admin workers. Provided a few for the Armed services also, serving in Korean War and recent conflicts. Grateful most returned.

This large working class family, stood on the terraces at Boulevard, old Bootherry halt supporting local teams. Had few qualified from University Not wanting to `Airbrush anything`. Several bamboo canes stroked odd arse of this working class family. Even had odd one or two expelled.

Needed to be good stewards, provided strong loving Women, resourceful men, and funny cute children. We meet today knowing not recalled every names, nor remembered all the roles, But we gather as a large working class family group, Resilient, beautiful, funny, strong. 

Today also sad, as we say farewell to one of our own, Matthew David, Animal husbandry worker and a Waller.

Today l am preferring for Matthew final farewell.

Ready or not its become a day l have to perform.

There been a lot of processing around emotions plus feelings to do with this moment.

so many people expressed support, sadness, some dignified stuff going on in background with Authority and Coroners office.

But still would liked to have heard from a friend or two. You see many cannot handle the big stuff.it has to be expressed, it has to be encountered. But l accept in a working class culture Death the fabric of LIFE is often avoided.

Suppose my own morality is something due to my health that conversed about. Heart by pass and open surgery changed me a lot. Effected how l understood time. How precious you are to me.

How precious we are to each other, How little and less should be given to conflict between each of us, and between nations. Precious is a commodity l need to keep on embracing. You are precious.

Lift our gaze, Lord;

may we never be so fixed
on the minutiae of materialism,
that we fail to appreciate
the character of your kingdom,
fail to see through
the lens of your love.
Inform and inspire our imagination,
uplift our understanding,
pour into us your peace.

politics on 5 th July 2024

 YOU KEEP PLAYING `THOSE IF ONLY GAMES`.

That's all that will happen they will keep making the poor very much poorer, the vulnerable will remain in that position. But those who get rich will still get richer. Gap between the,` have nots` and those with plenty will widen. Prices for those who can ill afford will still rise.

Worried about things Labour may do, Always been worried about things all Politian's do to those who don't vote.

Yes that's me . that were not flagged up in its manifesto. 

 Jaden Philogene confirms he’s not gonna join Barça: “I chose the Premier League because it is the clearest offer I have, but my dream is still La Liga”.

“Barça is my dream, I hope I can sign for them one day. My idols are Ronaldinho and Neymar”, told @QueThiJugue

RPpayne legal info

With that attitude to a bit player who was not consistent the attitude speaks volumes.

Just Go.

You have left, l know. But it was nice today to share the view and wave.

 

You were there in the reflections on the sea, the squirrel that came close stashing it's catch. You were there. When ugly seabird attacked the smaller pigeons, you were there informed me of that reason.

You were present in the fossil museum, although journeyed without you. It was certainly your presence. Although go there alone, its to be there with you ,that presence.

Still within your seeing eyes, the coulers and movements. There is no sound in these places just studious observances. Your there.

Looking over others shoulder's, feel you looking back at me. Been known to give you a wave. As East Riding country Bus passed old Pond in Bishop Burton. Saw you, like last day when it was too wet to get out, went supping milkshake, just looking, we  remained. We sat watching wildlife. Looking at us across the years from child to man. Seeing nature close at hand.

There you are. Whispered to you, You left, you are carried in Sunshine. Got all these ugly issues to deal with. But it was nice to go where, 

'we used to go, and wave'.

I'll keep on looking across the years waiting till l see your face then we can converse again.

You have left but still will try and share those things we enjoyed so endlessly. Misty autumn mornings, chilly harbour walks, sound of Curlew and plover, imagination of spoonbills feeding.

Long for the days without fear. 

You have left, l know. But it was nice today to share the view and wave. 

nothing else to add at present....

 

Jesus clearly said He was the way, as in the one and only way. He did not declare His way to be another way but boldly said l am the way the truth and the life. Now most religions acknowledge that Christ was a good man, a teacher sent from God, etc. but when He declared Himself to be the way, the truth and the life that made Him to either be who He said He was or a lunatic! He didn’t say of Himself that He was another teacher or prophet. He said the ‘buck stops here'.

Tyre tracks have ended for this day.

So l thought short pilgrimage away before l say farewell to my son. It His Memorial service. 

In my stomach there is a knot. Tugging away at Life presently living. Full of guilt perhaps could l have time again. But life goes on and we know it isn't easy. Maybe will make it to a bright new tomorrow but without something's Life still feels empty doesn't it.

Gut wrenching at times. Focus on seaside community to combat unemployment, low wages under skilled workforce, lack of real income. Economic surviving not satisfying. 

Confident the political systems will not come to the aid of those struggling. Confident end of the track. End of the pier, Time out ,Bell has toiled for many. 

Like many waiting for the new Jerusalem, theme reappearing into my thoughts a lot. Where is this LIFE in all its fullness. How's that even work around coastal community's?

Breathe in anew and have quiet time some big questions to digest.