Like a end of the journey period.

Feeling unclear about few things recently, accepting that some days just normal plus very grey.

Watching movies little interest ,picture house showing...'planet of the Apes latest, Kingdom of the Apes.' 

Noa, a young chimpanzee from a falconry-like practicing clan, prepares for a coming-of-age ceremony by collecting eagle eggs with his friends Anaya and Soona. However, a human scavenger follows Noa home and inadvertently cracks his egg during a scuffle before fleeing. While searching for a replacement egg, Noa encounters a group of ape raiders using electric weapons. As Noa hides from them, the apes follow his horse back to his clan. Noa hurries home to find his village burning; the gorilla general Sylva kills his father, Koro, before dropping Noa from a high platform.

Church was predictable, the beige chorus which now replace long hymns, bringing on at scheduled time speaking in tongues, lack of outreach. But sound was joyful, energy evident, commitment was real. ‘Bored with it all’ , that was lot about myself.

Long walk to connect provided no connection.

Dickensian image of a city in decline, passed along it's streets had huge echo's of our country further the society living among.
Glad no longer know it all, but not a pinball rolling around empty pinball table. But feel that emptiness. 

LIFE isn't like the movie's. It's much harder then that.

Love the movies, not just great movies, it's way storytelling becomes loop. Engagement follows, conversations grow, then personal development grows. 

We rubbish the narrative, applaud the Cowards getting a lesson. Laugh at conversation. Not our Movie. May not like movie, but with family and friends enjoy an occasion.

Learn lessons about how we communicate. How to be tolerant. Perhaps an interest is developing and we read further. Discuss deeper 
Soundtrack supplements our experience. Often find ourselves returning to refresh, renew, watch again, see something else 
Or to affirm. It was rubbish.
On a seafront promenade, we chat in a group, unable to remember the name,unsure if we had that scene correct.
What you watching on the movie scene. What's happening in the rest of your life.
Never forget this.

LIFE isn't like the movie's. It's much harder then that. 

Going places...

 Some people just don know how to be Kind. Age doesn't season them, time does not mellow Them. Try not to be like them. Nor Respect  them, be different, be better, travel the road less travelled.... narrow but views better.

UNWILLING

Try building networks of people, those who want to understand why its failing? This faith of ours. What's making it difficult to communicate. How can isolated people, who are wee bit out there, ( Further geographically). How do we find partners who are re-imagining church. What's is our narrative when on the margins, what do you do when isolated feel only Prophet in town and the threats, intimidation, undercurrent of violence .When these elements processed into reality threats are common, intimidation is part of cultures life choice.

WHAT  GROUPS OF PEOPLE MIGHT NEED TO FIND THE LOVE OF GOD? 

Well at least others are gathering to try work some stuff out, but its not local nor evident around here.

Walking around meeting people,talking,sharing, laughter, chaos,challenges.

Being willing to listen changes our FOCUS.

The Matthew blessing,

 

The Matthew blessing,

May God grant us enough stupidity to believe?
We can go from this place and make the world a better place, May we witness God`s work in creation, be inspired, rested and fit to look after this world he created.

                                                               Matthew David Waller

1st March 1984 February 14^th 2024

 We are gathering soon to express thanks for our`Matty`s life, journeyed among us all.

                       Order of service

Welcome

Opening prayer

Words of scripture

`A large council estate family`

Eulogy for…The Champ

Reflection 

Close and blessing

Matthew was above all things a lover of nature.

He was educated in Animal husbandry, specialised in exotic animals, Qualified at Bishop Burton agricultural collage.

It’s here enjoyed Life so much despite long day’s very early hours.

Why he had `upside down catfish, Geckos, corn snakes, and a rat'. With huge passion for music, loved gardening growing Leeks, Spuds, Courgettes and many varieties of Tomatoes. Often witnessed him coming out of greenhouse eating plum tomato.

Gathering with family, plus friend’s uncle’s, aunts, nephews and nieces. He was the father of Jessica. Matthew was Kevin's only son they held a special relationship.

Hope we are proud to have known Matthew, and witnessed his achievements. Collage time, work with the council, youth children’s work with Kevin, Matthew really well loved by those who encountered his, quite reflective nature at Youth gatherings. Residentials, actually especially 'Greenbelt', were places he enjoyed the most. We must not forget his illness, the battle fought so bravely.W e love and miss Matthew.

Let us not forget him.

 

Emotional literacy consequences are clear

Language is what makes our culture much of human relationships possible. 

But messages get misinterpreted, where not communicating properly. Really this is serious. We are seeing a fast unnoticed decline in language, l witnessed today lot of threats, which stem mainly from not listening, not only is society experiencing loss of the ability to read and write, but the also the ability to talk. 

Know lots of people who don't talk about deep stuff.

Also got connections, who base communication from social media outlets. Yes it come to short tweet for getting knowledge. That works as then you don't need to think about uncomfortable issues.

How do we get to a different place? What will we share about others if not transmitting right sonic. What missing from our what we received.

This often repeated

Situation comfortable one you know.

Someone hears only what they wish to hear. But not what

Actually was said to them.

The receiver is where the problem lies.

So when transmission is coming from you, need to check what's heard.

Especially when there a person whose already in a struggle. Or when you already experienceing a challenging period.

Expect preaching to myself here.

May we feel discomfort at issues we hear about

 Morning Prayer

As pilgrims on the way of faith,
the way of your kingdom, Lord,
give us wisdom for the journey;
keep us always open
to the guidance of your Spirit,
that we may travel well,
with care and concern
for our fellow pilgrims,
and for those who do not yet
journey with us.

Cannot improve on these words nor this image, As you journey this day may you spend time. With others, orbe happy in yourself. May there be enough. May all you love safe. May we feel discomfort at issues we hear about. May strength arrive for those we face also.

Boring Saturday in June promise of heavy showers.

Keep a food and activity diary to confirm that you are consistently doing what you need to....

Really unsure if the BBC can contribute to national scene. Internationally appears they do really good job. But in UK they are not trusted by many l know,

Bit like me and the battle to loose weight. Can you trust me to walk by the sweet savories counter.

NO.

Saturday when looking forward to Scottish football team losing and packing bags to return home.

it simply a boring Saturday in the UK with promise of rain plus heavy showers.

One of those bad health night's.

Last night's moon...she is a hard mistress. Awful evening health ways.

Integrity and Me, sometimes disconnected.

The post office enquiry, Blood transfusion, Palestine, Hama's terrorists, Anti Semitic behaviors, rising racist. White working class, industrial revolution, Liverpool plates of scouse, Poverty in UK, Kids going without meals, Knife crimes, Geographical poverty,  apparently the Birmingham Six, Bloody Sunday, Stephen Lawrence, the Marchioness, Hillsborough and Grenfell disasters.

Just a few issues we can reflect upon as we strive our way across present, LIFE narrative.

People, places, events, we should all Love are effecting LIFE. These are real issues ,events, effecting real people, some are my direct neighbours. Can feel overwhelming.

There is a clear normalisation of dehumanisation that has allowed otherwise decent people to justify treating “the other” as subhuman. Israeli Jews and Palestinian Arabs are locked in a dysfunctional, asymmetric relationship and lack political leaders with the courage and integrity to change it.

Found this in the Guardian, Newspaper..17/06/24

personally feel this brings my polarisation into focus, this is really where l should challenge myself further encourage you too. trying to read about the issue from Christian writers who have lived in the area.

Found the BBC news along with other News outlook to be biased not informed. There is history, present life's effected, Social media is toxic which misinformation. Streets protest have been a canopy of threats, oppression, and intimidation.

Integrity and me...sometimes we be strangers. WHY you ask? Because my LIFE is a journey, not there yet.

Time with God on a beech.

Such scampering about in the flighty group of my favorite little beach bird. Went to our favorite place and watched the 'brown ringed Plovers', simple nested on the beach. Well Matthew, missed you not being here to observe.

Processed the silence, lack of crowd's. Tide arriving, sun bringing rays through the haze. Focus was to reclaim the day after loss of few days ago. Another week passes me by, health bit better. Time spent in nature always fills me anew.

One thing we not short of

To care in `Animal husbandry` is essential, sometimes animal like this Gecko. Begins LIFE small, vulnerable dependent on another giving all that is required.
Humanity should be leading in 'How to care'. But we are not, we are failing. Hatred is witnessed. Seen images today. Scottish football fans burning English flag. Muslim woman burning a French flag. USA girl... 'Tik Tok' influencer, destroying images of hostages held by terrorist HAMAS.
One thing we not short of...is Hate.Love sure in need of Love today.

Anyway today was just bit crap.

The crowds collide just out of my reach
The taxi's lights flash up and down the street
I sit and watch the faces go by
I don't wonder where to or why
Cos it's me the rain my warm dark pain
Alone at ease and nowhere at all
My thoughts just drift on back to you
It seems you're here so it must be true
We never parted you never went away

Today just not precious, not cheerful.

Lots life challenges. Measure this day against the better days.

 

You can tell me its OK, Really how's IS IT ALL going?

No one should be afraid to discuss how they ae experiencing life, at present its important HOW we communicate.

often find myself talking about Issues, concerns joys, excitements, happiness end of the day. we gather to walk but sometimes one persons rudeness and conversation impacts others, But he, its a man, key he gets too talk. he is the rudest, does the least in day to day LIFE, due to behaviour, has no real relationships, become most isolated.

But others allowed this behaviour. Further behaviour become big issue, huge as he become the reason others do not want to gather. Nor communicate. Nor be part of this experience, its become unmanageable.

Soon we will have to address this and remove him from the gathering. but with a opportunity to attend again.

 YOU how is your journey, what you been experiencing, been a little while since YOU told me anything really.

LIFE, Hope you are with people who gather, communicate, Oh Yeah.... you are special.

If communicating it is about the five levels of communication. 

level five;- total openness 

level four;- feelings 

level three;- opinions 

level two;- facts 

level one;- cliché 

 

The idea is to stretch ourselves to build relationships 

by being authentic in communication. 

If a relationship you have is struggling.... PIP Wilson.

Really how's IS IT ALL going?

 

Old man gathered.

People yesterday, my friends, spent time at pub's, Not my usual haunt, we drank, chatted, laughing, reflected.

Guys someone said the gym was my family Old man was too tough, teaching us how to Not parent 

They achieved something ,not what they wished. My parents like my friends not good at parenting. LIFE was different.

Someone asked me this ..About Father Gods love. "How can you believe when He (God) took Matthew."

Sounds weak, Learnt to "sing Hallelujah anyway" .

You see deconstructing, emerging, new faith, different way of accepting...All got values ..But inside l still believe.

That feeling, like being with others, like taste of Chocolate, like knowing Hope will return. Sometimes that's enough.

Miss someone greatly, but at present just getting through till tomorrow is enough.

At a gathering.

Its strange day on way to meet friends from 5 decades ago. Realised how lucky we are,to have as (Freddie) said become "band boxing brother's", how could l pause my thoughts feeling not doing this for myself , clearly inspired myself,good way to spend time, gathering where just my presence was enough but for others.? How did question the conflicted thought, that become this was type of manipulation.

Aphorism...Come on New word admit.

like in many ways you perhaps, dealing with too many more pressing problems outside mainstream LIFE to really focus own personal development, economic wellbeing, holistic growth.. same with present Political campaign raging in UK.

`Not everything that is precious or true turns out to be so`, just something we should hold when listening to Political arguments. Its called a Aphorism...Come on New word admit.

Really do not think these Leaders, understand that there could be value in LIFE stories plus struggles of people like you further people like me.

People like you and people like me.
Many
many agree -
And they keep on amusing all those people in me.
And there'll be an end an end to it all
If you just stop to listen and hear your brother

 life is Hard, Politian's do not grasp that , they push own agendas, own issues, beliefs they change the next week, lifestyles they enjoy are all they grasp. Suffering, trials and tribulations, they do not experience. Do not know the challenges associated with very real LIFE. Without exposure cannot identify with People like you, People like me, Unable to guide us from where we are, to where People like you, People like me, should be striving to be presently established. 

Still we all love you Son.

Your magazine arrived placed it in your rack. Not messaged you yet.
The plant you cared for, well follow your lead, composted well. Trimmed back the leaves, removed the growth. All looking well.
Looked at your CD collection thumbed right through. Some groups you liked are unique to you. Funny smile in a photo l found. You... when you were young.

Miss you everyday Son since you went away. Today Just bit more miserable in every way.

Matthew, We Still love you, miss you. 

 

On issues and culture of the environment.

The failure of many churches to welcome, accept and include LGBTQ+ people creates stigma, loneliness, fear and denial, causing lasting damage to their wellbeing and mental health.  What is more, the scale and severity of these problems are of the gravest concern.

This is from Rev Steve Chalke. Rev Steve is OK, inspiration, incredible with insights, Vision, around my age, wrote lot about workings of my professionals practice. But has limited experience in Youth work, is ordained minister, unsure ,.maybe Baptist like myself. Like his example, teachings, use of his gifts. Incredible.Want to make sure people are aware of my support on many aspects , so have often repeated that.

Many, Many, Many Churches accept those in your the groupings. Ones ID in his messages.

I know that due to my workings among vast range of Christian faith followers .

It hurtful to promote this attitude. Think due to Rev Steve geographic living position, he is somewhat isolated but impacted by culture of his environment. But Churches of Jesus the Lord,also require the right to not promote above own beliefs that grouping. From Rev Steve please hope  more Open And Honesty to be expressed.

June is supposed to be the first month of summer, but it hasn't really felt like that to me. Just had to buy a new warm jumper.

This is what the Lord says: “Maintain justice and do what is right, for my salvation is close at hand"

Support a benefits crackdown? Politian's from both sides made different pledges to cut £12 billion from welfare by stopping people claiming disability benefits , some targeting for such conditions like depression and anxiety.

Again pointed to this previously its always the vulnerable, ill in health, poorest, women young families. Who get attacked. Its not long into such campaigns that we start to hear pledges and statements about spongers, benefit cheats, work shy, again impoverished lumped together .

reality is many struggling.

Practical image been one in Hull city streets this afternoon , no one visibly carrying shopping, gales winds sleet, YES in June. little evidence that any are out spending money. Many are struggling o provide enough just to get through this period.

Personally can vouch for that, l just get by, enough being my token. Enough .

Feels like another excuse to use those on benefits and the disabled as reason for entertainment even.

There should be NO focus on cutting benefits, Perhaps you could argue but restrictions need to be done on a case by case basis, not singling out certain conditions or labelling people.

THIS IS THE BIGGER PICTURE OF JUSTICE WITH WALLS FALLING DOWN AND CORRECT WAY TO BE BEING FOLLOWED.

Some one wrote about this around 4 thousand years ago, How long ...l gotta ask how long..how long..

This is what the Lord says:
“Maintain justice
    and do what is right,
for my salvation is close at hand
    and my righteousness will soon be revealed.
No one calls for justice;
    no one pleads a case with integrity.
They rely on empty arguments, they utter lies;
    they conceive trouble and give birth to evil.5 They hatch the eggs of vipers
    and spin a spider’s web.
Whoever eats their eggs will die,
    and when one is broken, an adder is hatched.6 Their cobwebs are useless for clothing;
    they cannot cover themselves with what they make.
Their deeds are evil deeds,

Jesus the Christ, he never said I'm too busy!

Hope l found in walk with family and friends, more hope in neighbour talking about sickness and requested my help.Hope further found in outreach talk with Sara, complimentary about her ability to ask 'Open' questions.

Hope again in those working to share faith journey. Seeking the vulnerable.

As example of Jesus the Christ, he never said I'm too busy..not for the lady at the well, not for Nicodemus in early hours, not for Tax collectors up the tree. not to busy.

Hope in you and me seeking to actively listen, especially to those who are left out. Those on the outside, Those neglected. Those who just need someone sat near them.

Hope lives because l know you understand. Thanks in advance.

Value building new relationships more then buying “stuff.”

Spoke only few weeks ago about internal issues, the stuff around, Value platforms. How we process and perform in society. what we feel is important. Things we spend money on, time we spend. How,  plus Who we spend time among. Where plus who we gather among. They all make us the people we are becoming.

That long journey we begin anew every day, we end with rest ,before we start to perform again anew the next morning. (Well its often morning for myself).

• Been informed the most important resource you hold is your personal economic value.
• Additionally the second most important value you have in your LIFE is Time. Diary, events, places meetings, schedules.

So the question has to become who am l myself communicating among? 

What community to l feel belong to?

Who because of my economic status?  (Know mine really non existent)...so keep writing never the less. Who because of my economic status is accepting of me as me?

Hard stuff.

Leads me to ask something externally,thinking thought yesterday about previous time,when with 'Love of mine',we shared a meal in Pub restaurant, we could not afford a meal each.

Do l miss the hungry years.?

NO

Not at all but valued the learning, please don't ask me to be excerpt here. at present.

Christians are the loneliest people in the world. This is especially true for those who are in ministry.

Now that brings me to Time, connections, relationships, encounters, gatherings. You see this gets my juices flowing. This is where l do feel at home. Company experiences, and the sharing conversations with others.

You know upon some reflection here where l have always felt rich, always wanted more, always enjoyed.

What value are you putting on being with people in your present daily rituals. Off now someone to meet.  

D Day, we glorify the past,

We glorify the past, When the Futures Dead …Ahead.

Take your time and eventually it arrives. The Meanings, lady from Pegus Café in France, owned the café when 6th June 1944 arrived. She said …"Men don't learn still in Europe today we are at war".

She was a child then, now like many old age arrived, time passed us by, have we learnt the lesson?

How come Despot's, cruel dictator, often Men, Putin, Stalin, Hitler, get position of Power.

Ethics become ideals, LIFE becomes distorted. Vulnerable weak unrecorded get killed.

Today we glorify the past....l know some won't like this …Because next stop ..The future is Dead Ahead.

Yes l know, some still see me as the petulant teenager who wouldn't wear poppy. But this guy is old gent who, just can't be bought.

“All that is gold does not glitter; not all those who wander are lost.”

 Most of my career, well my LIFE has been focused on religious, Spiritual, there is a difference been told. Emotional literacy, physical development, leisurely pursuits, Suppose those been the main themes, so was that all l became about as finish work age, Move to retirement. They call concerns we have worked among, issues, Mostly we addressed in Pastoral, Social type work? 

Poverty, Education, drug scene, underemployment, housing, relationships, geographical urban conditions, lack of social mobility, religion runs through them inextricably.

Perhaps because its about how we engage with others, is it about encounters we have with others? The stance we take when living among others. Hope we want to bring to sometimes desperate situations. 

Not everyone who wander are lost. Some are just Mavericks searching and serving. Guess that's always included me.

RELIGION MOVE US INTO REFLECTING AS WE SERVE, LOOKING AT TRADITIONS FROM OTHERS, WHO HAVE BEEN WHERE I AM NOW.

Guide that's gone before, the words of Isaiah are proper Rock N Roll. Some of the religious relevance is obvious enough.
Sermon on the mount. Always pointing us to seek Gods help in serving others.

Time is precious

        Time is precious and it will      

                  pass you by.

So along with others can l urge all, to use time with wisdom,some reflection, live this day. Enjoy.
Time is very precious, passing you and l quickly.

please not putting myself nor my practice here.

 It is a known fact how, telling a lie is costly: emotionally, cognitively, and physiologically. Lie-tellers experience negative emotions, cognitive impairment, physiological stress, and reveal this through nonverbal cues.

 “The Wire” is not just a TV series; it is an intricate tapestry that weaves together the lives of Baltimore’s citizens,

Do l love this narratives, walking ,talking, worse really Living episodes. First genre that got me into these Lived LIFE stories suppose was..’Hill street Blues’.. although dated not recognised it still felt character  were real. Living around us as the issues of Poverty ,drug taking, urban.plight all took place in environments just began to work among.

This TV began to unpack drug dealers to law enforcement officials and everyone in between. 

These were worlds  few of us knew. Some said to me it was a hard watch.

NOW please. l not putting myself nor my practice here. Just demonstrating some common narratives. That’s what drama, art, modern film ,etc is supposed to do. Not exclusively.

These opening quotes serve as a reminder of the complex web of relationships, power dynamics, and moral choices that shape the narrative.

Season 5 of one  my favourite all time TV programmes, gives us talking points, ethical delimas to discuss, along with  ,modern parables to take apart. Even apply to tghe lives we are living.

True also that it provides commentary on many ethics along with the societal perceptions. it came with lines such as, this one , which stated "The bigger the lie, the more they believe" , On the TV emphasizing the manipulation of truth and public perception. But for the present it’s asking ..has the middle east conflict ,being lived out on the streets. Well this may come as a surprise. But ISLAM it certainly is a lie. Is it the biggest lie. Exploration of just the first 8 verses in the QUARAN brings into sharp focus the lie and storytelling going on in its writings .

The bigger the lie...the more they believe. 

Really Back story to Garfield movie.

Got a young nephew, Real star, he took me to see Garfield Movie. Hated it. BUT loved being in his presence. Laughter, odd comments, gratitude. Explaining back story 

Imagine if he reads this in 14 years time. Back story to the Garfield movie.

He misses his cousin Matthew.

Reminds me to remind you. Be good to yourself.

Be generous, heard from someone today whose not happy with his social media contacts. So blocked far few. Be kind to others who knows what they are presently experiencing.

Stay close , Been a while so make contact.

LIFE is so terribly short.