There is a light that shines in you and l.That will never go out. A certain kind of light.

This Blog l write, thoughts that Kevin holds, not for the go-getters, nor those on thrusters, couldn't be for goal-setters, certainly if you are a high-achiever, the PRESENT WOKE Revolutionists or intellectual great big thinkers. No l don't think it's for them.

Nor Zionists, not definitely for east riding community Church. Nor other Bullies.

Write with wrestling soul. Try To Work stuff out Here. Struggle with heart that broken, plus Ischemic.

It's clumsy .These writing, ramblings are for those, excluded, detached, street real, like myself.

You who may just want to make it through another year, bringing HOPE sharing FAITH.

On level of openness further with honesty.

There is a light that shines in you and l.

That will never go out. Certain kind of light.

Looking for HOPE in Shambles.

 Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls. Jeremiah 6:16

We have not far away from my home, place been occupied by many invaders.

You can, like Valletta feel ghosts of history.

Gasp catch your breathe ,well l do, feel all around sense 'others.'

So as we enter new year move forward seeing efforts of 'others' not been wasted.

They call the place.. Shambles...it is not.

Neither is waiting for hope.

Hope new day,

Day Begins with expression of Hope! 

Can you see some close to You?

Can you hear some close to you?

Put on your boots, get out there and attempt to kick darkness away. Till it bleeds the light.

This isn't Ai speaking this is humanity shouting aloud, as 2023 ends. We have to bring into 2024 -Echos to return.

To Kingdom values 

The Gypsy in myself.

The gypsy in myself, is riding the roads simply to break away from

Local culture. Bit wicked to view lot of drink, threats of violence.

Deep loneliness in some stories get communicated to myself.

Sadness in echo's around better days, better times.

Lack of spirituality evident. Discern that.

Though it originated as holiday to give gifts to  the poor, these days Boxing Day forms part of holiday celebrations, find many people chose  to take advantage of Boxing Day sales. It originated in United Kingdom but not much money around, feels a bit low.

Mostly in new millennium it's football fixtures that bring throngs to gatherings. 

Further 3 words in three days.

 Here we are again with that old chestnut pick 3 words to identify my feelings around the day.

         Doing to much for others.

       Hassled.  Ignored.  Frustrated.

Am l standing in solidarity with others who are marginalised, Or is Kevin participating in others continued marginalisation?

Jesus looked at people excluded by one set of passages in the sacred texts as those marginalized, in need of distributive and inclusive justice. We find this pattern over and over again in the Jesus story.

not Tolerant to present medical intervention.

So that was it? Xmas came - Gone.

Back to checking on ill health of another, while own cardiac issues are not Tolerant to present medical  intervention.

My son, doing better pain too much for him. Notice to  other users, Service providers are limited.

Spoke to my Iranian friend. He was pleased we didn't celebrate Christmas  with pomp, used period like a fasting period.

He is back at work already, had tyre issue so engaged bit longer.

Like Assyrian and Lebanese friends chat about serious issues.

Really enjoy those moments.

Christmas 2023, even Bah Humbug appears cheery.

 Didn't need an excuse to cancel but glad been Quiet today. My son poorly. I am tired and world got worse. TV utter Rudish as well.

Christmas 2023, even Bah Humbug appears cheery.

Hear not only one with cancel Christmas's culture.

Avoided the rush,declined the invite.

Prayed a great deal. Reflected. Supping a coffee. Didn't get into debt. Put up no cards. Looked out for others. Delivered odd gifts. Didn't break the bank.

Never got snogged under the tree.

Looked the other way, as Santa had piss down Alleyway.

Couldn't yet bring myself express gladness for tidings this morning.

Never thought about Last Christmas or last one before that either 

Hear not only one with cancel Christmas's culture.

The city of Bethlehem in the occupied West Bank, the birthplace of Jesus Christ, has announced the cancellation of traditional Christmas festivities in “mourning and honor” of Palestinians killed in Gaza.

Again shine a light. Amen.

 This is no fairytale, it's Life and it's feeling grim. Funny moments today. But mind turned back to someone close physically.

My son won't accept health support offered.

Shine a light, God shine a light. Like candles in darkness prayers are offered. Shine a light on housebound wheelchair warrior.

Shine a light on those about to fall off high wire.

Shine a light,into places we cannot intercede. Into hearts that are closed.

Grant discernment into those whose words are required,to those who have no voice,be the prayers. Grant peace.

Shine a light.

Needs to pray for light

My precious son is very poor in health. Glanced at flooded dike, green woods small birds making noises in hedges.

Quietly l feel he is departing. Eyes cannot mask, lack of diet, slowness, thinning of face.

Seeping through bandages. Open wounds, Nurses cannot improve. Reserved presence. Desire not to be here.

Giving in, not wishing for spring, little if any interest.

My emotional being knows what internal kicking feels like. He is giving up. Many others already have.

Shops so full,crowds so angry,carparks busy. All drifts passed. Wandering along waste land where noise is adsent, but of course it's present.

Little matters when own blood is hurting. 

It's Not just winter outside. It's absence he feels for Hope. I cannot shine a light.

We only get to cook Turkey once a year, rest of the year may just feel like a turkey.

At present despite everything, that great big hill of hope feels so far away.

Thanks to `4 non blondes` and of course `the Psalmist`. 

It might feel like there is more than enough darkness to go around.

Had to pull over in my car journey as Sun pink and greyish coulers streaked across the morning sky, where the estuary meets the North sea entering a muddy swamp.

Pulled over prayed, hoping might communicate better with a troubled soul, spend far bit of time meeting.

You see a bit like this image Life not perfect its a bit fake.

Lovely food cooked brilliant. 

So Rightly have to accept things are different.

We only get to cook Turkey once a year, rest of the year may just feel like a turkey.

SO WHATS WITH ALL THE VIEWS 5K LAST FEW DAYS.

Not a single comment appeared, very little feed back, been wondering some ...scam... the protection in place, so just let you know...NO got no money to leave you. Don`t give to third world residents either. Sorry.

The journey, how is yours progressing?

It felt valuable, shopping for another cooking and Hoovered. Listened gave a hug, wee bit of advice. Collect from boots the pharmisist prescription.Spoke to nurses. Doctors admin. Cleaned urinal.Emptied bins.

You changed me, when simple guy at 17 stated ..."l will follow"...

You changed me, when a simple 17 year old working class male stated...

..."I believe"...

Still December 2023 from that day 1976. The journey goes on.

How are you in this period when avoid the consumerism, how are you?

When trying make sure others have a gift, Something to show you remember others.

How is it going! making time To be reflective?

The journey, how is yours progressing?

today was a `best day of the week` day.

This is something we look forward to at this time of the year, we have already finished with

Christmas , such as it will be, as it was, as it never will be...

the smaller birds like Russian sparrows, few pippins are making wee presence noises and flutter.

Larger birds been evident as the fields are flooded we catch some good views and watch all efforts in wind and on fields bushes.

There this engagement as l creep into my sons world a quiet hostage as they talk about excitement. Then all get visible excited about creature flutters into camera view and across the Bird watching hut.

Something exotic appears a spoon bill...wow not seen a Bird like this since...(well l wont go there).

Egrets and green backs, a Northern diver in the harbour, Kittie -Wakes are noisy.

So geekism, so Big Bang Theory.

So wonderful, So Human, so exciting. The gathering comes together sharing past stories and next place, flight patterns Good bacon buttie places.

Later we are in the quiet sunshine on a deserted Harbour.
This makes me more Poorly but LIFE lived. Best life that day.

Pushing a wheelchair with weighty middle aged man, Vulnerable poorly struggling, But today was a `best day of the week day`. That's all need to hear. Smile eat some chips, Head home.

There has been a serious decline in the numbers of many birds, including the Song Thrush, Skylark, Lapwing and House Sparrow. This decline has been gradual. Most of the declining species are farmland birds. Woodland species like Blue Tit, Nuthatch and Great Spotted Woodpecker are still on the Green list of least conservation concern. 

Join half a million nature lovers this January and help us understand how birds are faring. Together, let's make it count.

Why these over paid prima donnas are openly worshipped.

 Brentford defender Ben Mee's sending off in the 71st minute sparked the Villa turnaround as Alex Moreno (77) cancelled out Keane Lewis-Potter's first-half opener (45).  Watkins then scored an 85th-minute header which was followed by a celebration that saw him stand inside the goal and point at a Brentford supporter in the home end causing a melee between the two sides.

What shocked me to the core was the thuggery supplied by Wright (Thug) and Shearer(Girlie Thug)..BBC MOD. Watkins was unprofessional and cowardly.

Both pundits on BBC flagship MOD, Match of the day. no one argued that this would be inflammatory but instead laughed joked and stated they have also would do the same.

You see its those hidden little things about own behaviour which questions why these over paid prima donnas are openly worshipped.

We allow,enjoy accept they entertain. Football does but who changed the price tags. While further promoted these individuals to a former God like status.

 "There was one person abusing me all game, the celebration wasn't to anyone else but him... Football's football, you can have a bit of banter but not when it's personal"

But your paid so much more for the value of being in that position. You had already scored what could be better then rubbing his face in it that way.

However again we witnessed that thuggery of hob carrier and fence painters, putting their 2p worth in when it wasn't their place.

Also showed what many knew, when rub the polish away the real thuggery of these pundits shines threw.

How do people of Faith living in a furnace operate ?

I picked up a book that talks about Christianity under some persecution.

Some have to hold their Faith in the midst of indignity , hatred spit at them daily. Actual violence in a furnace called the Middle East, often in our news.

Ask myself How do people of Faith living in such a furnace operate with compassion.?

Like you experience Drama when cut off in traffic ! When l discover others LIFE lived in real persecution. Moves me 

Moves me to explore how l can live better, show my faith makes a Difference. More committed to Kingdom principles of Jesus.

Is that the furnace similar to the one Daniel operated in, all those thousand's of decades ago.?

Can these murmurs bring us to behave with more grace?

We will be more Spirit filled?

In our community development among families, settings, relationships.

Can we behave with more tolerance?

How should such change reflect in our wider society interaction?

Bring them home.

Apparently so have recently discovered, posters pictures, of hostages not allowed to be displayed.

One religious group have complained.

Again loud minority, got the result.

This is how they start stopping democracy.

We wanted `Shalom at Christmas`, but saw through peacemakers disguise.

But `floor walking` in shops, is very much less. Also noticed many not buying. Certainly feels colder. Very chilly.

Seen lot of friends recently, which very much enjoyed. Further grateful for relationships in present community.

We have a thing recognised as Local poverty. Linked to where you are born or live. Add to that lack of unity and solidarity.

Unity is some things we agree upon.

Solidarity could be described as,` what happens when we unite, fight common issues`. one result is we sometimes in difficulties, Work together because have too.

Can't skate away on a frozen River.

Those who find this season Rush.

Plus those who want to retreat but cannot .

Few who still believe he will return one day.

Perhaps your finding 'hard to believe in father Christmas', because even that a lie.

May be ill, feel hard to go on.

Put yourself in my place ..KEVIN...once angry teenager on Harry Enfield show, even a rat with Roland.

Last few years a festive Carrot.

I just....life feels harder this period,But can't skate away on a frozen River.

Must,Should, carry on believing tha peace came and visited. Empty stall to Empty blood stained cross.

Life given for us, that the belief l hold onto each day. Different way, better way.

Sad to hear last week of the death of the mighty, Benjamin Zephaniah .

When we rose up the land was bare,

when pure beginnings filled the air,

We stood upright and walked the same

when this great planet had no name.

We saw the land, we saw the seas,

and endless possibilities,

to speak of what existence is

we then developed languages.

We built houses from sticks and mud,

raised animals that chewed the cud.

We tilled the land and sowed the seeds,

we raised the crops, controlled the weeds,

we saw lightning when we gazed higher,

we saw light, and created fire.

We took all our skills and families

and created our communities.

With paintings, poems, verse and song

we made our spirits wise and strong.

With science, and reason, we were

enlightened;

our senses were truly heightened.

When we built ships and learned to sail

it’s true to say we did prevail.

Our will and our imaginations

constructed jobs, cities, and nations

I was only listening to BBC Radio 4 his desert island discs few days later he died of a Tumor. Deeply moved myself. he was such a down to earth ,natural person with a spirit. Of course he was a poet. But beautiful innocence around him. When saw him on high brow question time politics plus issue based stuff. He was grounded.

Further he was Faith person regular at Greenbelt.

Here a bit more connecting with my thoughts around Nature and soul

from the great ,man Benjamin Zephaniah a mighty human being.

Unleash the righteous thinking mind.

Unleash the good within mankind.

Unleash the youth who could with care

rebuild our lives and clean the air.

Let us not dig for negatives -

let’s reach out for alternatives.

Breathe in my people, save the whale,

touch the trees, and then… exhale

This is from the poem used in Future Visions and widely used on Planet Earth also by WWF etc. Catch images on youtube channels.

Good, should not, be left undone.

            Good, should not, be left undone.

Life is about journey that involves always relationships. Don’t want any to forget sometimes that includes people experiencing problems.

I heard something disturbed me about voluntary, youth project some lady new to volunteering with children and youths.

She has stated few times…” Since we stopped all trouble makers coming the Club lot better”…

If only LIFE could be that simple, any we don’t like, disagree with, problematic ones, those not in our social class or grouping. Or our ethnic grouping, age ways,You get the picture.

Biggest question for me is how did bunch of people get to running youth provision. 

East Riding got lot to answer for. Recognise this behaviour as quite cohesive. But when that person and Husband got around 9 failed marriages. Wonder honesty ,really do. What moral compass do they guide themselves by?

Cohesive behaviour been many decade journey. Got stuck in that place. Light can’t get through. Simply cannot shine here 

But something strange because others witness, comment about action plus behaviour. Too uncomfortable to challenge. Also something witnessed before. Project middle class ,’value platform’. Clothes, homes , shopping trends, leadership role in Church.

Seen this behaviour it's cohesive, hungry for power' that comes with discipline problem', people hurt damaged by this unprofessional conduct.

They get away with excluding others by projecting false ideals. ‘Look at us our nice manners.’

Those excluded for trivial behaviour get labelled further edged out. Problem behaviour such as what l've witnessed is recognised far bigger issue than might actually be. Issue children face, don’t get addressed.

But worse older adults who had track record ,themselves are broken damaged, relationships they develop, allow them to hide that away.

Own behaviour goes unchallenged. As the journey develops it continues. 

When l have forged relationships with so called ‘problem people', discovered two things. Often miscommunication is key factor. Behind problematic behaviour is behaviour we could exhibit.

They get away with excluding others by projecting false ideals. ‘Look at us our nice manners.

Nature, again.

In nature find distress and turmoil.

Discover beauty, wonder. I engage, breathe differently.

By Breathe must explain, of course perhaps l do operate more relaxed. But mean in very broadest sense, my whole being holistically, sense everything getting better.

Way Look at others when returned from nature, well with more warmth. Working with young people, they behave more relaxed.

We all engage differently. For some when its first steps away from culture, (Whatever that may be), sometimes they are fearful.

Of course not saying there is not wildlife, Botanical interest and nice views in city.

Gasp,  perhaps just inside, internal. At images, coulers sounds. There is life, we feel alive.

Returned focused so differently. Thoughts are clearer all around the images sing a narrative, Some sights are like a reward. Walks become rewards for the uphill damp struggle.

That warm cup of Bovril enriches nourishes a troubled soul.

Take a trip into nature experience more than these humble findings.

Most of  all thank the creator.

MUTE these losers in the game.

It always nice on Cards, in reality it's grey, wet slushy. Leeds city centre today met friends lot of discussion. But driving away what l best remember was how natural it was to hug.

How natural it felt to laugh.

Yes people grown, children now a teenager so awkward and self aware.

Yet they were first to hug, smile, embraced.

Then City streets, guys attempting 'Rap music', the bravery creation and commitment  to mission. These things gave me hope.

Milion miles away Hatred is expressed by followers of another Religious belief system. Because they have lost.

We muted them, because we all know that the cross,with it's shame, pain, Blood, demonstrates LOVE WINS.

What does that image form in your relationship with spirituality.?

How does the cross impact what you believe about LOVE ?

 

Fields like overflowing Baths.

Traveling around our flat county in East riding , Most Views are of flooded acres.  Drains with banks busted overflowing into fields.
Pretty disheartening. Grey Cold, damp miserable. Concerning, like a bath overflowing no where for excessive down pours to retreat.

Christmas is a pagan holiday.

 Christmas is a totally pagan holiday. We nicked it, should give it back.

Here some theology and discussion to think about.......Bible informs me and you that... Archangel Gabriel told Mary that Elizabeth was six months pregnant with John (Lk 1:36), which means the Annunciation occurred March 25, as we celebrate. Nine months from March 25, or six months from June 24, (John the Baptist birthday.) would present the birth of Christ at Dec. 25.

Constantine legalized Christianity in 313. There a statue of him in York, round the corner, well bit further from where l am sat at present.

Then in 12th century we find first suggestion that Jesus’ birth celebration was deliberately set at the time of pagan feasts. Christmas is pagan actually comes from fundamentalist writers, they enjoyed Pagan concept idea and ran with it.

The three kings were proper hard B`S and some of them were women, so its best to stick with wise crowd, Zoroastrians was the tribe they came from.

Worth looking that tribe up. l think we could say they were the first real believers.

But l urge you to forget all that, get Glass JD, record match of the day, put on Joni Mitchell's..The river, Follow that with Greg Lakes, l believed in Father Christmass. 

Make sure all you love have enough food and something to open, often wrap up presents using Aldi mag, its original anyway.
Enjoy the day, pause and thank God for all you have, plus hold dear,
Maybe grab warm coat─ walk along a lake with Hot Bovril.
but most of all ignore the greed.

I wish I had a river

I could skate away on

I wish I had a river so long

I would teach my feet to fly

Oh, I wish I had a river

I could skate away on

Noise and movement more my spiritual leanings.

Coldest period of the year. Struggled to get warm. Last few jobs of year paper work, one meeting ahead, expenses to be sent in.

Medical options being thoughtfully examined.

Like many rurally things slowed down.

Since pandemic life quieter. More isolation evident. Living life of roaming in mission, bit cut off from previous colleagues. But communication taking place.

Already feel LIFE closed down for the year. 

Water in field topped up like a bath.

Drain and river's broken bank doesn't look good.

Reminded myself that this morning spiritual practice wasn't of my liking.

Required, one word central prayer.

Silence was achieved, but due to my practice, further, my actual being, capable of that. Noise and movement more my spiritual leanings.

Walk differently, breathe.

Sea is rough, Sleet came down, showers ended. There was blue in Sky. Temperature risen slightly. Joni Mitchell singing. The river..as we drove. 

It's coming on Christmas

They're cutting down trees

They're putting up reindeer

And singing songs of joy and peace

Oh, I wish I had a river

I could skate away on

But it don't snow here

It stays pretty green

Fix your mind on nature, breathe different.
Listen to view of a poet, expressing lyrics better. 
Be exposed to force of the season.
Simply being elsewhere with other thoughts, close family and tracks of music.
God is here, paused waiting to be listened too.

So breathe better, the mad rush is not waiting for us. Be peaceful perhaps you can retreat. 
Perhaps others want to see if any will not be involved in such a rush to show greed at present time 
Perhaps you need to listen to some lyrics. Take some time out. Just a morning.
Spiritual you will be grateful. Dare l suggest some healing will occur.

Gratitude coldness, nature, people. awful lot to be grateful about, also spiritually warming. Enjoy LIFE.

Today as l drove the winter chill had made each tree such a beautiful image of harshness of these present cold days.
Birds were falling around as they attempted run off in Icy conditions.
Humans were wrapped up in layers of clothing, struggling to keep warm and perhaps keeping all sorts of issues breathing internally.
The calm water of the North sea looked like you would die within minutes of falling into its depths.
Beach was covered in strange yellowish couler as Flakes of snow settled on salty sandy area.
Breathe, from my mouth was greyish and floated into sky.
Like many put the heating on and warmed myself with a cup of tea,

Had a visit to my son earlier, we talked as got his shopping list together. Added his `China real `, take away order.
As departed to drive home , my last view was of him, Matthew warm eating his, `fried rice mushroom beef chow mien`.

LIFE simply can be just getting by in present journey.
There is dramatic health news, but many are not able to be in simple mode you and l are experiencing. Sorry if not that for yourself.
Yes want some economic and work drama. But gratitude for coldness, nature, people. 

That's awful lot to be grateful about, also spiritually warming.

 Wrapped my snug into my neck pulled my collar up . Then the rain sleet began to fall, me shot off the beach ,then hurried home.

 Enjoy LIFE.

Really cold.

Reminder of warmer days, along meadows, watching rare animals live.
Matty in his wheelchair enjoying odd day out. Delivery Practioner don't like him having occasion as they feel, he should go to hospital each day if he gets to places like this!
Biting cold, buses not running, conversation Warm me up.
Not risen above 01.5 today.

(which is Hospital day 14-38 investigation, BUT consultation at 08-45,)

The basic social security rate is at the lowest level in real terms for 40 years, and "our unemployment pay is the stingiest in western Europe". Yet amid a brutal cost-of-living crisis, hundreds of thousands of disabled people have been told to look for work they can do from home, or face having their benefits cut by £4,680 a year.

But l got real issue relating to my cardiac issues so not going to worry.

However there is a debate happening in crisis we are facing about economic well being.

Uncooperative, wonder what that actually means how would that be measured?

Welfare claimants could, OR may be stripped not just of their benefits.

Which sounds oppressive, cruel plus harsh, in itself, but also their right to free prescriptions, plus bus passes. Even if these measures could be applied in practice, it's hard to see them proving that effective. Recognise some people are abusing a system. May lead to social unrest, which may ask harder questions of service providers.?

Sometimes you just got to wrap up, hustle down and watch a good movie, went for... `To catch a thief`!... but still intrigued myself, bit of `Hitchcock` for the coldest night  in flat on the coast.

To Catch a Thief is a 1955 American romantic thriller film directed by Alfred Hitchcock, from a screenplay by John Michael Hayes based on the 1952 novel of the same name by David Dodge.[3] The film stars Cary Grant as a retired cat burglar who has to save his reformed reputation by catching an impostor preying on wealthy tourists (including an oil-rich widow and her daughter played by Grace Kelly) on the French Riviera.

The cold snap, Presently experiencing will continue into Sunday which is when due to take Matty , (my son), out in his wheel chair. Before l hope, beginning to ease. Freezing conditions will persist overnight, snow turning to rain by mid-morning – Some experts on TV suggested snow could persist over higher ground in the East Riding.

It will be slightly warmer on Sunday afternoon, with temperatures reaching 3C. Monday, (which is Hospital day 14-38 investigation, BUT consultation at 08-45,) back to the weather. Monday is likely to see heavy rain showers, with temperatures rising to a maximum of 6C.

December is a feeling of isolation,poverty in rural north

December has arrived with biting cold, minus degree temperature. Strange desire to avoid Others attempt to stay warm.

The Chill factore on East coast in UK makes chill more biting. Went into Cafe chatted had Burger chips.

Still people are not venturing into community like previous, fear is spoken about. The lack of diversity clear and obvious in our rural seaside town 

Brazing walk caused self reflection.

The isolation, lack of education, limited employment. Although strikingly clear.

Poverty is as biting as the chill factor.

But also evident lack of social services.

Detachment, isolation, poverty factors excist rural.

Winter is not just a cold month, its a feeling evident in social structure.