Breathe it's a difficult stressful period.
Reminding myself to pause. Reflect and breathe on.
Look for God seek his guidance help and strength.

It all seemed so important then.

It all seemed so important then policy guidelines informed practices. Staff meetings exciting new contracts ..hourly rate of £7-05...opportunity to advance to part-time route in part-time qualification. JNC recognised...Collage ..University...Placements..Practice documents etc...It all seamed so important then.

In the film ...'The Great Escaper'.. there something sad but special ,strong but vulnerable,delicate yet resilient about the characters who main LIFE issue to those observing was impact of War.

Ten years ago on the 70th D-Day anniversary, 89-year-old Bernie made headlines across the world when he became ‘the great escaper’. Bernie left The Pines care home in Hove, who thought he was planning to meet friends in Portsmouth to reminisce about D-day and Normandy, but instead he caught a ferry to France to pay his respects to his fallen comrades.

Back to the film .Confident it was and still remains so very important.last word spoke in the film is... Tossers....Last act is old gent letting down the tyres of self important :- it's all about us Cyclists.

It sums up vital aspect of our society.

Who are the tossers who don't care about those around them nor journey they have taken?

Who are these elite how do we recognise them? What acts would scupper their plans causing them to look at larger picture?

It all seamed so important then so very important. I was wrong sometimes that's just me...it's just me.

You don't have to prove nothing to nobody.

Do people sometimes hide from others how difficult life along with the stuff associated really is ?

We talk in counselling/active listening terms as masking...‘masking’ often means “putting on a brave face”, “keeping up appearances”,  “pretending things are better than they really are.” its the games we humans often play. I'm ok you're OK. but often the person is not.

They have written lots of books on the issue enough to make us all stop taking the pills. But there never is enough Loved. 

Ask Cher.

I know people hurt you so bad

They don't know the damage they can do

And it makes me so sad

How we knock each other down

Just like children on a playground

Even after that old sun went down

I was either standing in your shadow or blocking your light

Though I kept on trying I could not make it right

For this girl

There's just not enough love in the world

Oh, darling, this is still a shady little town

Sometimes it's so hard to smile

For the world, for the camera

Still have something left

You don't have to prove nothing to nobody

Just forgive yourself.

You don't have to prove nothing to nobody.

I loved whole 'in-service training' along with credited certified qualifications. Not intellect notebook person indeed left school with no qualifications, was expelled kicked out and told l was not welcome.  When l discovered further education was a vocational route l could process very well. It became a way to grow develo and improve the person that my profession required. Not on my own in discovering this guy from male working class background. Empathy was something discovered, listening was something l didn't realise was a skill.

The most important thing was how do other people process LIFE ?

What experiences have they processed to get here or still journeying towards.?

There are no quick solutions. Joy is we can share our humanity. It's beautiful.

A Sandbox for teenagers growing up.

That conversation that was warm and not expected. Someone shared with myself  information that demonstrated they trusted me plus accepted advice you offered.

Heron stood on the bridge over the river unaware of others, (So it seams). Buzzard circling higher then higher up and out of sight.
Top of Ravenscar peak in cooler September evening `stars cosmic man`.

When we found out that locally small Fish and chips is called `Half a Lot. and it was enough. Surprise sometimes when it had quite a few pieces of fish. Unpacked them at Seal Sands ate till full.

Moment when `Tee Pees` are erected, sat around the stove is on Quite long journey because someone wanted to see `Villas ground`. Aston Villa as we passed Birmingham. Laughed at extra miles plus the detour. Cooking noodles with loads of chicken in our recipe broth.

`Chloe's` screams as in North Yorkshire we visited Count Dracula's experience. Most of us didn't find it scary. Sat later on the wreck of a boat, just of `Staithes` all thrilled.

When we traveled to play football in west end of Newcastle, the Romanian kids against adhoc team we could muster, score was so stupid the laughter so plenty, the insults never occurred, friendships cemented. The day was bathed in hot temperate and cups of tea were waiting as we headed back to a Church hall meeting up with other youths.

Always as now captured on dusty photos images that bring a tear, we had just this strange feeling.Godly beautiful feeling, there was enough stupidity among these groups mainly forgotten, impoverished kidz ,that the world is still somewhere full of kindness, many gentle full of grace acts, funny people.

It was always the simplicity of hot mugs of tea, sat chatting something to do with snacks and waiting, Waiting. Enjoyed each moment often in Gods cathedral always a talk about some Kingdom way of being.

 A Sandbox for teenagers growing up and needing these moments of retreat, refreshment, time to slightly escape grow in holistic fullness. 

— it is a social and moral crisis.

Who controls artificial intelligence and for whose benefit.

We are really struggling economically, morally, the AI concerns are buying up valuable time. The issues is lot simpler then others are prepared to admit!

What do they have in the game? Why are they reluctant to face straight on this delima? often Politics is corrupted and lacks compass that can steer collective into proper forum to address concerns.

There Appears to be a `system error` in that AI is making us less capable of working. A system error. it needs rebooting think that's close to being an oxymoron. Classic system error. Less capable of cogent organised approaches. AI interrupts most business from `sounds in the gym`. Programmes delivered to increase fitness. Car mechanical issues. AI Makes phone calls independently, then it tracks people's history and attempts too impact interest.

We can't browse areas of interest because then we get targeted because Power of AI. Shaping who, when, for what reason we contact various platforms.

Fake news becomes a regular interjection. Young people prevented from thinking stuff through. Then there is the fear factor.

Hopefully we are now becoming Aware we have started tackling these Al concerns.

                         It is a social and moral crisis.

Hull A City falling to Liberals ripping its soul away with burden of immigrants, destroyed from the inside.

 "I have to say sorry,” said Jakirovic from the balcony. “I was brought here with one job to do: keep Hull City in the Championship. I failed, because we are going to the Premier League."

"Wow @HullCity An amazing achievement. With all the controversy and noise, you still got it done. Congrats to you and your town."

And we dreamed , we dared to dream some travelled watched cheered, invested some of us just sat on the sidelines observing. Other felt the lose of family and dream of a City falling to the liberals ripping its soul away with burden of immigrants. Unable to visit own City centre because the image associated with equality and diversity is Ghetto style city ruined for them and the children they brought into this Hell of a city. 

Its a City where now the `full hijab` is more visible then Arab states, Ethiopian and male African natives focus on trips to the coffee culture . Where is it going to be in 5 years if after the last 5 years seen this Hell hole created in Hull grows.

The issue of Misogyny cultural abuse was evident yesterday in Hull. Negros walking around first day in Hull arrived UK recently. Freedom chimes, Arses on display with pants down displaying cheeks, `corn cut` hairstyles in gangs 4 and 5 observing the ladies. Oppressive and discriminatory.

Discouraged to see these issues so evident plus clear. We have regressed as a Society my home town mirrors this large. Gone has community cohesion, Gone has freedom to critic a Religion that approves of mistreatment of females. Gone have the notions that liberal experiment is fruitful.

It's damaging depressing, cruel harsh, very much promoted by Male Politian's removed from consequences or ready to acknowledge this huge mistake.

Not feeling the noise...

Loneliness has followed me my whole life. Everywhere. In bars, in cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere. There's no escape. I'm God's lonely man... June 8th. My life has taken another turn again. The days can go on with regularity over and over, one day indistinguishable from the next.

This is a quote from a film Taxi driver disturbing watch but iconic classic well acted by method king 'De Niro'.

Been spreading word around to others about love of movies and inferred values you connect with then ...well simply discuss issues share feelings, emotional thinking, any similarities between your LIFE plus those around your LIFE.

Been to a gathering that just because of who l am. Did not like it was not my thing, not my thing, nothing else, but showed others my presence. Gave it a try.

Didn't like the noise
Didn't like costly add on's.
Didn't like the heat.
Didn't like the just arrived migrants cultural unaware but still being ugly in their dress and input.