At times they felt like the coldest days

 Worked in East Hull for few years was very much learning so much forever grateful those in Christian community also on the frontiers. Guess in lots of ways l was not doing well it was a new profession the learning was steep the hours very long. The Anti social nature wasn't a bother to myself. Confident lost out socially. But of course l was DJing a great deal so my income became less of worry. The Tailoring trade has died  my mentor had passed away.

Further l was a new single parent. Life was hard, tough plus difficult, so many beautiful people and my family were so supportive as Kevin found his place in this changing world. Issues we still encounter today were becoming the nature of the position. Homelessness, criminality among the youth, anarchy, poverty, Apaphy I felt so unskilled so nervous at times great deal out of my depth. Wasn't the only one. So willing so supported. God's hand was clearly guiding me. 

"Wish l didn't know now
what l didn't know then."

At times they were the coldest days of my LIFE....BUT SO VITAL RICH AND ESSENTIAL.

Faithless was present.

My first paid youth and community role was as a development officer on a blighted estate in East Hull. Coming from large working class family in same town never know how deep the poverty was. How come you could be asking. Already worked since leaving school at 15 with no qualifications. Apprenticed into a trade then whole bottom fell out of that industry ..( Bespoke tailoring replaced by cheap ready made imports)....

We never knew where the wage nor decent living would arise from,  so very many where experiencing the very same thing. The very same resolution and detachment from decent standard of living.

We pursuviered, then got more qualified further wages improved. Questions arise how come my family plus friends had got better standard of living .? How come we stewarded better? Why was poverty there so much more evident? 

Getting to know the client group plus their families, found there was a lot of faithlessness, no sense of values like the ones we used, that others held shared and used to live lifes! Then we arranged activities the committee disliked our mention of God or Jesus plus the Christian faith. This was very active. But the funding and volunteers were provided by faith followers they spoke against. It was like a false grip held them and the estate. There was a real lack of Christian presence.

That was one of my primary learnings. It changes return to that another time but that awareness was unmistakeable and clear.

100% again..

It's dark it's grey it's chilly it's cold.

The economy bottomed out poor are not getting support the Labour government don't care they trying to re-enter European Union.

The corrupt practices are evident in the lives they lead. The lies mount up. They focus on the Champagne corks they burst out while poverty grips, poverty bites, poverty sucks the life's from those whose everyday experience it been their misfortune to be born under.

Poor housing and Dickensian homes overcrowding dirty and cold homes lived in by many who cannot afford the heating on.

Streets where pensioners pull curtain shut at 6 retires at 7 in bed to stay warm with clothes on waking up at 3 in the following morning finding room too cold. They travel on buses smiling at strangers engaging in conversation That mean so much  to them...but nothing those receiving the communication.

That season never leaves. That condition never gets addressed. It's shameful and that blight remains.

What do you see when you look at this image ?

Do you see the influence of a Japanese artists?

Have you got appreciation for the couler ?

Can you spot the East Yorkshire town featured.

There a warning plus a tragedy captured only a few months ago so many questions not yet versed not reflected deeply!

Heartache tears and pain gatefold into a image.

Changing again ..

 The ice cream man has left the promenades the money not important the season has ended and the places is closing down. Chilly winds are blowing nights gotten cold. Wages not being paid plus benefits not there for everyone. LIFE is tough seasons come then seasons go ..later to return God is at work even though we may feel he is not! 
Despite a season lost in some despair the birds that leave nearly all departed away, we seam to know where plus we eagerly await the return in the spring.

 It's all happening if your unsure spark again to the waymaker...
One of the medieval names for God .
Constantly where we cannot see God's hand is large underneath the soil reconciliation can be taking place. So we must toil through these seasons again the Leaders lie and practice deceit. Poverty goes by unnoticed while across the waters many Newscasters inform us of events not really related to our lives. Nearer the ITV news promotes interests removed many times over from Life's we experience.

Missed the sound of the sea the coldness of our walks the promenade activities
 but like the season l too had to change and away.  Didn't want to leave you old folks but at times wasn't sure that my witness held the Salt nor Light required. It's was just that simple.

Looking at others should not take place till l have had long hard look at self.

Waymaker, miracle worker

Promise keeper, light in the darkness

My God, that is who You are

You are 

Waymaker, miracle worker

Promise keeper, light in the darkness.

Not a hymn lover not really keen on worship songs nor do l get up for contemporary Christian music scene. Sometimes it's simple statements with whole lot of truth attached. Above based on St Francis of Assise words is a simple song. Well it was performed on Songs of praise last Sunday. I liked it. 

Reconstructing into a new faith journey based on service community further life among the poor was the radicle statement of the fruits plus the huds they created. Still today they serve a purpose.

The desert fathers the pilgrims offer us still today a better way of doing community. The desert fathers the pilgrims offer us a different way of working with individuals. Have we become too sophisticated in the faith community, have l compromised through own intellect wealth and place l gained.

Looking at others should not take place till l have had long hard look at self. Time for a mine retreat starting in the present to explore some of the above. Those who have deconstructed l would encourage to reconstruct with a little self examination indeed for myself plus you observing this blog. Treat yourself to a period to do that very thing. 

God bless us in this pursuit and guide us in our learning.

Is it surprising if you deconstructed from a faith built only on what you like, that when what you dislike loomed large you fled and left.

 It came to light today in various forms that the first world faith concept of deconstructing is struggling as people turn away from Church. My own thoughts travelling around fact that too many of these deconstructed people are spending time in therapy and on retreats mostly  via social media like zoom.

There is an issue a factor staring everyone closely in the face. These people in the main chose a conveyor type faith. One that allows them to sample and have sound bites they favour . Relationships and encounters with poverty. The poor and inner cities are not their mission ground. The university campus was the place they felt at home. Academy of learning. Practical outliving of faith among those facing injustice not been area nor a path they have been along.

Is it surprising if you deconstructed from a faith built only on what you like, that when what you see as uncomfortable loomed large, you fled and left.

Zoom then into therapy because the faith you held was tested and you departed. That isn't faith it was just a jolly period out, like a Student night at the comedy corner. The laughter died you looked around and chance to wear your faith among the everyday issues was no longer attractive.