I come to this moment when recognise that its difficult subject,
When last experienced near death was in Hospital.
Writing this, well (vulnerabilities here),
it may put me,among cuckoo brigade.
But this l felt was real, aware after three days in ICU WARD , coming around from `open heart surgery`.
others where in the area, Dead.
Heard weeping as younger male come into see
plus say goodbye to his Father.
The other was female, she had no relatives she departed alone.
l was so aware that felt something leaving the arena.
Prayed..odd heard a strange song for no reason..
`l`ii paint a patch of Blue on your weather beaten face`.
you see somethings make sense.
Become aware of nurses talking to myself,
asking about walks l liked ,the beach, my DJ work, family .
Given drink .
Days passed in out ..in out..in out gradually become more aware.Checked the people had died facts gathered where true.
But all efforts focused on myself, recovery, return to better health.
Soon l will be returning to difficult journey, more Heart operations,procedure,interruption,
More aware.
OLDER.
Been again into difficult operation once since that day nearly a decade ago.But got real poorly by lot more recently. Try hard to keep fit ,active, mindful, serving, addressing Faith,music, local small P politics.
Invested in friendships,family,community, returned to work last time. Afterwards for years traveled mainly UK, Northern Europe working.
Last few years, became aware that l was failing, the frustrations became real.Feeling worthless, bit useless.
This here is honest level five sharing. Hope more emotionally open, less insecure so this is communication and interaction.
l write this at this moment for you when it becomes a moment you face. Thought that I’m leaving you all keeps me awake some nights.
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